16 quotes
The Value of Iodization in People
Prof. Nathaniel Billings
Amelia, this riffraff, as you call him, is really the salt of the earth. All he needs is to be iodized.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Hair Restoration Claims
Amelia Jones
Everybody in this town knows you made your fortune on snake oil hair restorer.
Dr. Lorenz
Well, what's wrong with that? Where's the hair follicle that can resist 2000 international units of Vitamin A? Where is it?
Prof. Nathaniel Billings
Right here.
[Bending over and pointing to a spot on top of his head]
Dr. Lorenz
Hmmm! Oh, hardening of the skull!
[Examining it]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Evidence of Guilt in Brampton's Room
Dr. Lorencz
It isn't in Brampton's room. That proves he did it! He's covering up!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dr. Lorencz's Claim on Choreography
Dr. Lorencz
If he is a choreographer, then I am ].
[[w:Anna Pavlova|Pavlova]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Martyrdom and Murder
Bill Leyden
They murdered him! Just like they murdered the other one!
Prof. Nathaniel Billings
Please! Please! The word is, "martyrized.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finality in Action: A Declaration by Dr. Lorencz
Dr. Lorencz
Contractum sanctum putnam," which means done and dished up!
[Signing the mortgage]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on a Chilling Experience
Taglines
You'll be tickled to death over this gay chiller diller!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fun in a New Type of Horror
Taglines
There's fun in this new type of horror picture...fun for everybody, and everybody loads of fun!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chilling Mayhem and Merriment Awaits
Taglines
IT'S A CHILLER-DILLER OF A MAYHEM-AND-MERRIMENT SHOW!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Nostalgic Reflections on a Childhood Memory
Winnie Slade
Isn't he a dear?
[about Professor Billings]
Amelia Jones
Even when he was a baby, he never cried - not even when we dropped him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Integrity in Science and Ethics
Dr. Lorencz
Do you imagine I could take advantage, exploit, capitalize on a great scientific discovery? Cheat millions of people all the world over? Profane my profession? Suppose I make a few dollars, don't you think I wouldn't put it right back into science?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dr. Lorencz's Commitment to the Squirrel Pen
Dr. Lorencz
If the army didn't need him, I would have committed him to the squirrel pen at Idlewild Sanitarium, so help me!
[about Bill Leyden]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Jinxville's Unusual Offerings and Responsibilities
Dr. Lorencz
And if you ever need anything, like medical attention, or fire insurance, or a marriage performed, or a loan, perhaps? I should be delighted to oblige.
Winnie Slade
Doesn't anybody else do anything in Jinxville?
Dr. Lorencz
Oh, they... they vote once a year.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threatening Humor in a Tense Situation
Silvio, the Human Bomb
In this sack, I have forty kilos of dynamite, and I don't mean ravioli!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
From Horror to Howls and Merriment
Taglines
From HORROR To HOWLS...FROM MAYHEM TO MERRIMENT!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exciting News Shared Between Colleagues
Prof. Nathaniel Billings
I have very good news for you, Doctor!
Dr. Lorenz
Really?
Prof. Nathaniel Billings
Now, guess what!
Dr. Lorenz
I don't know!
[Annoyed]
Prof. Nathaniel Billings
Go ahead - guess.
Dr. Lorenz
D-Do I look like a quiz kid?
[Angrily]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.