The 'Burbs Quotes

Mark Rumsfield Smells like they're cooking a goddamn cat over there.

Mark Rumsfield Walter. I know you're in there. That scum-sucking, barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my lawn. I find one more- just one- and I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut.

Taglines A comedy about one nice guy who gets pushed too far.

Mark Rumsfield A Soldiers way saves the day

Ray Peterson Shut up. SHUT UP, ART, SHUT UP! God, you don't know when to quit, do you?! Look at me! I'm a shell of a man because of you, Art! YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE! GET OFF THEIR CASE ALREADY! They didn't do anything to us! They didn't do anything to us! All right, so they're different, so they keep to themselves! Can you blame them?! They live next door to people who break into their house and burn it down while they're gone for the day! Remember what you were saying about people in the burbs, Art? People like Skip? People who mow their lawn for the 800th time, and then SNAP?! WELL, THAT'S US! IT'S NOT THEM, THAT'S US! WE'RE the ones who are vaulting over the fences, and peeking in through people's windows! We're the ones who are throwing garbage in the street, and lighting fires! WE'RE the ones who are acting suspicious and paranoid, Art! WE'RE THE LUNATICS! US! IT'S NOT THEM! It's us.

Ray Peterson I can't walk anywhere without you asking me where I'm going - I'm going to Paris, France, okay? I'm going to Banff, Canada, alright? That's where I'm going.

Ricky Butler God I love this street.

Mark Rumsfield Hey! Pinocchio! Where are you going? Don't you make a move, sonny! I was eighteen months in the bush, and I could snap your neck in a heartbeat.

Ray Peterson Nobody knocks off an old man in my neighborhood and gets away with it.

Mark Klopek, what is that Slavic?

Reuben NO!!!

Mark Bout a nine on the tension scale, Reub.

Art Weingartner They may think they're off the hook, but they're not. No, no, they're not. Are they, Ray? No, go ahead, tell em. Tell em. We got the goods on em, don't we? Oh yeah, y'know? You know, someday they're gonna dig up the back of that yard and they're gonna find the rest of the skeleton to go with that femur. Oh, it might not be Walter, but it's gonna be some poor tortured bast--

Mark Art!

Bonnie Your wife's home!

Mark And your house is on fire!

Art MY WIFE IS HOME?!

Ray Peterson I'm only trying to take a nap! I'm only laying here with my eyes closed trying to get some goddamn sleep!

Ricky Butler This is my neighborhood!

Ray Peterson I'm going to go do something productive. I'm gonna go watch television.

Mark Rumsfield Here you go, sonny - a little something for the old sweet tooth.

Art Weingartner I can see the news report now. "They were a quiet family, kept pretty much to themselves, No one would have ever suspected them of foul play.

Ray Peterson I-I've never seen that before. I've never seen anybody drive their trash to the curb and beat the hell out of it with a stick... I've never seen that before.

Ricky Butler That was very cool dude.

Art Weingartner I'm telling you these people are Satanists, As I sit here, they are Satanists, Look, look, the world is full of these kind of things - black masses, mutilations, Mutilations! The incubus, the succubus - I'm tellin you, Walter was a human sacrifice.

Art Weingartner I think the message to, uh, psychos, fanatics, murderers, nutcases all over the world is, uh, "do NOT mess with suburbanites". Because, uh, frankly we're just not gonna take it any more. Ya know, we're not gonna be content to look after our lawns and wax our cars, paint out houses. We're out to get them, Don, we are out to get them.

Mark Rumsfield About a 9 on the tension scale, Rube.

Art Weingartner I want to kill everyone, Satan is good, Satan is our pal.

Mark Rumsfield In Southeast Asia we'd call this kind of thing bad karma.

Ray I'm not going to listen to this, I'm not going to hear this now.

Art Ray! Ray! You're chanting! Ray, unconscious chanting! You're chanting!

Art I want to kill everyone. Satan is good. Satan is our pal. Ray, Ray, you're chanting! Hey, once they get in here... ...it's over, pal.

Mark Rumsfield There go the Goddamn brownies.

Mark Rumsfield What have you got in the cellar, HERR Klopek?

Ricky Butler Oh no! You guys can't leave. This is the best part. I called the pizza dude!!!

Mark Rumsfield You got a lawsuit on your hands mister!

Mark Rumsfield Gentleman, we are on alert!

Art Weingartner Now they know that we know that they know that we know.