20 quotes
Fear of the Enlightened Stoner
Marty Mikalski
Statistical fact: cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they and he will bind them with ancient logics.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Influence of Hidden Manipulators
Marty Mikalski
Puppeteers...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Differentiating Types of Zombies in Horror
Wiry Girl
That's not fair! I had zombies too!
Sitterson
Yes, you had "Zombies". But this is "Zombie Redneck Torture Family". They're two entirely separate species. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Apologies Amidst Chaos and Monsters
Dana
I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.
Marty
Hey, shh, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world. Giant evil gods.
[incredulous]
Dana
I wish I could have seen them.
Marty
I know. That would have been a fun weekend.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Abandoned Property: A New Beginning
Taglines
Quaint abandoned property... sold.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ignore warnings and embrace adventure
Taglines
If an old man warns you not to go there... make fun of him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reality TV Dilemma and Parental Expectations
Marty Mikalski
Oh my God. I'm on a reality TV show. My parents are gonna think I'm such a burn-out.
[after discovering a hidden camera]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lost Opportunities and Unfulfilled Dreams
Sitterson
I'm sorry, man.
Hadley
He had the conch in his hands.
Sitterson
I know. Couple more minutes, who knows what would have happened.
Hadley
I'm never gonna see a merman.
Sitterson
Dude, be thankful. Those things are terrifying. And the cleanup on them's a nightmare.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Conversations Amidst Chaos
Marty Mikalski
Yeah, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?
[After Dana discovers Judah's dismembered body]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication During a Serious Conversation
Mordecai
Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of... Am I on speakerphone?
[pauses]
Hadley
No, absolutely not. Speakerphone? No, I wouldn't do that.
Mordecai
Yes I am. I can hear the echo.
Hadley
Oh my God, you're right. Hang on one second, I'll take you off.
Mordecai
That's rude. I don't know who's in the room.
Hadley
Fine, there. You're off.
Mordecai
Thank you. Don't take this lightly, boy. It wasn't all by your "numbers". The Fool nearly derailed the invocation with his insolence. The Ancient Ones see everything, and they will not... I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?
Hadley
Oh my God, Mordecai! I can't believe it, I did it again! Mordy, what happens next?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choices in a Game of Truth or Dare
Marty
Okay, my turn! Jules!
Jules
Mmm?
Marty
Truth or dare?
Jules
Let's go dare.
Marty
All right. I dare you...to make out with...
Curt
Please say Dana, please say Dana, please say Dana...
Marty
...that moose, over there.
Dana
Um, Marty? Have you ever seen a moose before?
Marty
Whatever that mysterious beast is.
Curt
That's a wolf.
Holden
That's clearly a wolf.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Fear with Unconventional Choices
Taglines
If you hear a strange sound outside... have sex.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Gratitude Amidst Dark Humor
Dana
Thanks for... being decent.
Holden
Least I could do, since Curt and Jules have sold you to me for marriage.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity and Uncertainty in Conversation
Curt
What are these?
[Jules is holding complex textbooks]
Jules
Nothing.
Curt
No. I'm serious. What are these?
[angrily]
Jules
I just...
Curt
Where did you learn about this stuff?
Jules
From you, okay? ]
[[w:I learned it by watching you!|I learned it from watching you!]
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Embracing Chaos in the Face of Fear
Dana Polk
An army of nightmares, huh? Let's get this party started.
[hits purge button releasing all the monsters]
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The Cost of Sacrifice for the Greater Good
The Director
This is all most unpleasant. I know you can hear me. I hope you'll listen. You won't get out of this complex alive. What I want you to try to understand is that you mustn't. Your deaths will avert countless others. You've seen horrible things: an army of nightmare creatures. And they are real. But they are nothing compared to what lies beneath us. There is a greater good, and for that you must be sacrificed. Forgive us... and let us end it quickly.
[to Dana and Marty]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning Against Reading Latin
Marty Mikalski
Alright, I'm drawin a line in the fuckin sand. Do not read the Latin!
[While group is in the cellar]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Divide to Survive: A Chilling Strategy
Taglines
If something is chasing you... split up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perception of Familiar Stories Can Mislead
Taglines
You think you know the story.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of Free Will in Control
Truman
How can you wager on this when you control the outcome?
Hadley
No, we just get em in the cellar. They take it from there.
Sitterson
They have to make the choice of their own free will, otherwise the system doesn't work. Like the Harbinger. Creepy old fuck, practically wears a sign, "YOU WILL DIE." Why do we put him there? The system. They have to choose to ignore him, just like they have to choose what's in the cellar. Yeah, we rig the game as much as we can, but in the end, they don't transgress...
Hadley
They can't be punished.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.