The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - Quotes

Divide to Survive: A Chilling Strategy

Taglines: If something is chasing you... split up.

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Abandoned Property: A New Beginning

Taglines: Quaint abandoned property... sold.

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Ignore warnings and embrace adventure

Taglines: If an old man warns you not to go there... make fun of him.

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Embracing Fear with Unconventional Choices

Taglines: If you hear a strange sound outside... have sex.

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Perception of Familiar Stories Can Mislead

Taglines: You think you know the story.

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Choices in a Game of Truth or Dare

Marty: Okay, my turn! Jules!

Jules: Mmm?

Marty: Truth or dare?

Jules: Let's go dare.

Marty: All right. I dare you...to make out with...

Curt: Please say Dana, please say Dana, please say Dana...

Marty: ...that moose, over there.

Dana: Um, Marty? Have you ever seen a moose before?

Marty: Whatever that mysterious beast is.

Curt: That's a wolf.

Holden: That's clearly a wolf.

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Unexpected Apologies Amidst Chaos and Monsters

Dana: I'm so sorry I almost shot you. I probably wouldn't have.

Marty: [incredulous] Hey, shh, no. I totally get it. I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world. Giant evil gods.

Dana: I wish I could have seen them.

Marty: I know. That would have been a fun weekend.

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Lost Opportunities and Unfulfilled Dreams

Sitterson: I'm sorry, man.

Hadley: He had the conch in his hands.

Sitterson: I know. Couple more minutes, who knows what would have happened.

Hadley: I'm never gonna see a merman.

Sitterson: Dude, be thankful. Those things are terrifying. And the cleanup on them's a nightmare.

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Differentiating Types of Zombies in Horror

Wiry Girl: That's not fair! I had zombies too!

Sitterson: Yes, you had "Zombies". But this is "Zombie Redneck Torture Family". They're two entirely separate species. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.

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The Illusion of Free Will in Control

Truman: How can you wager on this when you control the outcome?

Hadley: No, we just get em in the cellar. They take it from there.

Sitterson: They have to make the choice of their own free will, otherwise the system doesn't work. Like the Harbinger. Creepy old fuck, practically wears a sign, "YOU WILL DIE." Why do we put him there? The system. They have to choose to ignore him, just like they have to choose what's in the cellar. Yeah, we rig the game as much as we can, but in the end, they don't transgress...

Hadley: They can't be punished.

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Miscommunication During a Serious Conversation

Mordecai: [pauses] Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of... Am I on speakerphone?

Hadley: No, absolutely not. Speakerphone? No, I wouldn't do that.

Mordecai: Yes I am. I can hear the echo.

Hadley: Oh my God, you're right. Hang on one second, I'll take you off.

Mordecai: That's rude. I don't know who's in the room.

Hadley: Fine, there. You're off.

Mordecai: Thank you. Don't take this lightly, boy. It wasn't all by your "numbers". The Fool nearly derailed the invocation with his insolence. The Ancient Ones see everything, and they will not... I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?

Hadley: Oh my God, Mordecai! I can't believe it, I did it again! Mordy, what happens next?

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Unexpected Gratitude Amidst Dark Humor

Dana: Thanks for... being decent.

Holden: Least I could do, since Curt and Jules have sold you to me for marriage.

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Curiosity and Uncertainty in Conversation

Curt: [Jules is holding complex textbooks] What are these?

Jules: Nothing.

Curt: [angrily] No. I'm serious. What are these?

Jules: I just...

Curt: Where did you learn about this stuff?

Jules: [[w:I learned it by watching you!|I learned it from watching you!] From you, okay? ]

The Cost of Sacrifice for the Greater Good

The Director: [to Dana and Marty] This is all most unpleasant. I know you can hear me. I hope you'll listen. You won't get out of this complex alive. What I want you to try to understand is that you mustn't. Your deaths will avert countless others. You've seen horrible things: an army of nightmare creatures. And they are real. But they are nothing compared to what lies beneath us. There is a greater good, and for that you must be sacrificed. Forgive us... and let us end it quickly.

The Influence of Hidden Manipulators

Marty Mikalski: Puppeteers...

Unexpected Conversations Amidst Chaos

Marty Mikalski: [After Dana discovers Judah's dismembered body] Yeah, I had to dismember that guy with a trowel. What have you been up to?

Reality TV Dilemma and Parental Expectations

Marty Mikalski: [after discovering a hidden camera] Oh my God. I'm on a reality TV show. My parents are gonna think I'm such a burn-out.

A Warning Against Reading Latin

Marty Mikalski: [While group is in the cellar] Alright, I'm drawin a line in the fuckin sand. Do not read the Latin!

Fear of the Enlightened Stoner

Marty Mikalski: Statistical fact: cops will never pull over a man with a huge bong in his car. Why? They fear this man. They know he sees further than they and he will bind them with ancient logics.