Missed Opportunity for Romance
Fenderbaum: [noticing Blake acting oddly at bar]
What is it?
Jamie Blake:
Look at the chicks! Boy, if they were Methodists, what a shot we could have had of getting laid right here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Priests in a Ferrari: A Unique Blessing
Fenderbaum: [Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance]
Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!
Victor Prinsi:
J.J., there are two priest in that car. They want us to pull over.
J.J. McClure:
Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?
Victor Prinsi:
No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Professional Experience
Pamela Glover:
Wait a minute, you can't come in here.
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing:
Madam, not to be indelicate but in my profession; if you've seen one, you've seen them all.
Pamela Glover:
Oh, okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ambulance Capacity Causes Misunderstanding
J.J. McClure:
Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back.
Victor Prinsi:
Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!
J.J. McClure:
She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Highway Destruction and Its Impact
Mr. Foyt:
Well, how do you all feel now you have raped the American highways?
J.J. McClure:
Beautiful!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cannonballers Compared to Terrorists in Humor
Mr. Foyt:
Terrorists my dimpled ass! These people make terrorists look like the Sisters of Charity! These guys are Cannonballers!
Pamela Glover:
What is that? A bowling team?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Race for Honor and Belief
The Sheik:
My driving is rivaled only by the lightning bolts from the heavens!
Shiek's Sister:
So you still intend to enter the race with the infidel Americans?
The Sheik: [thunder crashes]
The Cannonball will fall to the forces of Islam! My dear sister! I swear it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange About Nicknames
Fenderbaum:
Why'd he call me Shorty?
Jamie Blake:
Cause you're small. Small. S - M - all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Divine Support in the Race Ahead
Fenderbaum:
We've got a secret weapon. God is our co-pilot!
The Geek:
You'll need him!
Jamie Blake:
*God* is our co-pilot?
Fenderbaum:
Uh huh...
Jamie Blake:
Remember our car?
Fenderbaum:
Uh huh...
Jamie Blake:
Two seats?
Fenderbaum:
Two seats...
Jamie Blake: [smack; smack]
Where's he gonna sit? Where's he gonna sit?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism and Optimism on the Road Ahead
Organizer:
Of course you know certain skeptics note that perhaps 10,000 of the nations most elite highway patrolmen are out there waiting for us after we start, but let's stay positively: Think of the fact that there's not one state in the 50 that has the death penalty for speeding... although I'm not so sure about Ohio.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
