10 quotes
Priests in a Ferrari: A Unique Blessing
Fenderbaum
Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!
[Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance]
Victor Prinsi
J.J., there are two priest in that car. They want us to pull over.
J.J. McClure
Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?
Victor Prinsi
No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Missed Opportunity for Romance
Fenderbaum
What is it?
[noticing Blake acting oddly at bar]
Jamie Blake
Look at the chicks! Boy, if they were Methodists, what a shot we could have had of getting laid right here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange About Nicknames
Fenderbaum
Why'd he call me Shorty?
Jamie Blake
Cause you're small. Small. S - M - all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Divine Support in the Race Ahead
Fenderbaum
We've got a secret weapon. God is our co-pilot!
The Geek
You'll need him!
Jamie Blake
*God* is our co-pilot?
Fenderbaum
Uh huh...
Jamie Blake
Remember our car?
Fenderbaum
Uh huh...
Jamie Blake
Two seats?
Fenderbaum
Two seats...
Jamie Blake
Where's he gonna sit? Where's he gonna sit?
[smack; smack]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Highway Destruction and Its Impact
Mr. Foyt
Well, how do you all feel now you have raped the American highways?
J.J. McClure
Beautiful!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Professional Experience
Pamela Glover
Wait a minute, you can't come in here.
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing
Madam, not to be indelicate but in my profession; if you've seen one, you've seen them all.
Pamela Glover
Oh, okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ambulance Capacity Causes Misunderstanding
J.J. McClure
Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back.
Victor Prinsi
Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!
J.J. McClure
She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism and Optimism on the Road Ahead
Organizer
Of course you know certain skeptics note that perhaps 10,000 of the nations most elite highway patrolmen are out there waiting for us after we start, but let's stay positively: Think of the fact that there's not one state in the 50 that has the death penalty for speeding... although I'm not so sure about Ohio.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cannonballers Compared to Terrorists in Humor
Mr. Foyt
Terrorists my dimpled ass! These people make terrorists look like the Sisters of Charity! These guys are Cannonballers!
Pamela Glover
What is that? A bowling team?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Race for Honor and Belief
The Sheik
My driving is rivaled only by the lightning bolts from the heavens!
Shiek's Sister
So you still intend to enter the race with the infidel Americans?
The Sheik
The Cannonball will fall to the forces of Islam! My dear sister! I swear it!
[thunder crashes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.