16 quotes
Captain Nolan's Urgent Direction to His Lord
Captain Nolan
The wrong way! Veer right! The wrong way! Veer right, my lord, veer right!
[frantically]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vision of a Professional Army
Captain Nolan
One day, there will be an army where troopers need not be forced to fight, by floggings or hard reins. An army-- a Christian army-- that fights because it is paid well to fight, and fights well because its women and children are cared for. An army that is efficient and of a professional feather. I must fight for such and army. That army will bring the first of the modern wars, and the last of the gallop.
[voiceover]
General Airey
It does look like war.
Lord Raglan
Does it? I do think the French have been asking for it, ever since they had my arm.
Airey
But it won't be the French.
Raglan
Won't it be the French?
Airey
I've got a map, somewhere, of who it ought to be.
Airey
Well, it might be the French. It might always be the French.
Raglan
I knew it would be.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Command in the Light Brigade
Lord Cardigan
I cam to be offered a command, not serve under that fool Lucan! I knew, the moment I saw his biscuit face sopping up wet around the ] he'd be here, starting his wheedling!
[[w:Horse Guards (building)|Horse Guards]
Lord Raglan
I am sure that after a little while, Lord Cardigan, you can be persuaded that such an arrangement can be made to work. After all, you will have the Light Brigade. Dash and fire, eh?
General Airey
Yes, Cardigan. You'll have the Light Brigade. Dash and fire, it is!
Cardigan
Lucan could not make himself fit to command a tent. Command an escort. Not fit to command a troop of knackered tailors on stubbed donkeys!
[slightly mollified]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lord Cardigan's Unyielding Command and Pride
Lord Cardigan
I do not propose to recount my life in any detail, what is what. No damn business of anyone, what is what. I am Lord Cardigan, that is what! Them ], you see em tight, my Cherrybums, I keep em tight. Ten thousand a year out of me own pocket I spend to clothe em. A master cutler sharps their swords, and I keep em tight-stitched, cut to a shadow. Good! If they can't fornicate, they can't fight, and if they don’t fight hard, I'll flog their backs raw, for all their fine looks!
[voiceover; [w:11th Hussars|Cherrybums]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Dynamics of Cavalry Mess Life
Captain Nolan
There is no place happier than a cavalry mess. If one is a stupid, inconsiderate and lazy man, one can fit as a round peg in a snug round hole. At times, I am so pent up with their languour that I could scruff hold of any two of them and bang their noddles together until their doodles drop off!
[voiceover]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for Intelligence on Captain Nolan
Lord Cardigan
Sarn't Major.
TSM Corbett
Sir.
Cardigan
I want a report, a report of any conversation Captain Nolan has with other officers. You are to take note of whatever he might say and bring the information to me.
TSM Corbett
I shall spy, my lord?
[unable to believe what he has been told]
Cardigan
You shall.
TSM Corbett
My lord-- My lord, to be asked to take up the spy-- I am much distressed to be asked such a thing, my lord. After twenty years of coming up from private trooper...keeping off the ]...not a drop since corporal. I shall inform Captain Nolan. I-- I can hardly do other.
[[w:Beer|pongelow; resolutely]
Cardigan
Sarn't Major, it is better that you take a ball and put it in your own brain. You are finished, now, as if you had not ever been made. What a waste.
[impassive]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disagreement Over Beer and Color
Squire de Burgh
Couleur de noir.
[noticing, to Cardigan]
Lord Cardigan
You are drinking beer, sir, porter beer!
Nolan
No, my lord.
Cardigan
Yes!
Nolan
No.
Cardigan
See it!
Nolan
No, my lord.
Cardigan
Don't you "no" me! That is a black bottle.
Nolan
I assure you, my lord--
Cardigan
That is a black bottle and you are drinking porter from it!
Captain Featherstonehaugh
Champagne only!
[braying]
Russell
In point of fact, I asked Captain Nolan if--
Featherstonehaugh
You knew that!
Nolan
I am not aware--
[rising]
Cardigan
I am aware you are drinking porter at my table!
[rising]
Featherstonehaugh
Sit down, Captain Nolan!
[rising]
Nolan
Sit down, Featherstonehaugh.
[not moving]
Featherstonehaugh
What His Lordship said was that champagne only was to be dwunk in the mess tonight. What he said---
Nolan
It is not porter, it is Moselle, my lord.
Featherstonehaugh
Apologize!
Nolan
If I am in error--
[still endeavouring to keep his temper]
Cardigan
Error? Don't quibble with me, sir! Beer! I will not have beer drunk in my mess! Come back, Nolan! Nolan, you will not leave the mess! I am not finished with you!!
[Nolan turns abruptly and starts walking out of the room]
Cardigan
Dog! Devil upstart! Impertinent Indian dog-devil!
[crimson with rage]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of the Russian Enemy's Color
Officer
What colour is the Russian enemy?
Riding-master Mogg
Sneaky colour.
Paymaster Duberly
Gwey. Your Russian is gwey. Which is why he can't be seen. Which is why his pwomotion is slow.
Officer
With a little breeding, an Englishman can buy his advancement.
Mogg
He and Hi are not hable to buy our advancement, we have to hobtain it by our habilities!
[indicating Duberly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedic Take on Eccentric Behavior
Lord Cardigan
All this swish and tit gets my sniffing nose up! I shall have to fetch it off, tonight, Squire, had me Cherrybums out today, always makes me randified!
[to Squire de Burgh, on observing the ladies]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on Military Discipline and Morality
Riding-master Mogg
Always one or two of your young tyro officers brings up or flops over. Fades away like Lily at bedtime!
[to Nolan]
Captain Nolan
The time should be forever past when such treatment is inflicted on a British soldier!
Mogg
They will not fight unless they are flogged to it. Would you ask that of them? Would you ask that they fight like fiends of Ell for money? Or hideas? That would be hun-Christian!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion and Orders in Military Command
Riding-master Mogg
It's like a foreign language to them! They don't know hany direction, back or front. They'll never find their front when there hisn't a black face to it. I halways tells them they'll know their front from the many black nigger faces waving knives at em!
[to Nolan; to Nolan's Indian servant]
Lord Cardigan
Are you ], young man?
[noticing Codrington's unusual meal; [w:Constipation|costive]
Codrington
I have your orders, my lord, to be here and eat lettuce. I am eating lettuce, I have eaten lettuce.
[holding up a folded note]
Cardigan
What is it?
Featherstonehaugh
What it tells Cornet Codrington, my lord, is that, as youngest officer, you will expect him to eat as a wabbit does, only lettuce! And it's signed by you, my lord!
[trying not to laugh]
Cardigan
Green boy! Such a green boy! You have been drawn! Not my order you should eat lettuce, though perhaps it will put sap in your pizzle!
[hugely enjoying the prank]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Mistakes in Military Duty
TSM Corbett
This is all according to the ]. I was drunk at my post. It is not my place to criticise. But it will have a grave effect on the non-commissioned officers, for it will show there is a slender thread. One slip, and a man is deprived of what has taken years of steady effort to obtain.
[voiceover; [w:Articles of War|Articles of War]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Discussion on Honor and Service
TSM Corbett
]. Flanders. ]. ]. Ah! And escort to ] on the occasion of his wedding, after which he called us His Own. God bless him! Our dress is bright and warm. Out mounts is mastered and mannered, gentle in ride...calm in battle, and our officers just whisper, they being of the opinion, like to myself, that more can be done glorious by leading from the front than can ever be brought off by prods up the arse from the rear! Hold your head up, sir! I believe you would look a rare treat in stable dress. Are you respectable?
[[w:Battle of Culloden|Culloden; [w:Battle of Salamanca|Salamanca; [w:Battle of Waterloo|Waterloo; [w:Prince Albert|Prince Albert; drinks, or pretends to drink, from a large tankard.; Laughs heartily, sees Mitchell]
Mitchell
I've often thought of enlisting.
TSM Corbett
I thought you had, by the fine way you carry yourself.
Metcalfe
I'm a bad character, just out of gaol!
[at the amiable stage of intoxication]
TSM Corbett
In that case, you've already served Her Majesty! Lord Cardigan's Cherrybums -- follow me!
[All laugh]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Officer Responsibility
Riding-master Mogg
What is the condition of them?
TSM Corbett
They're all wobbly-boned. Recruits in England are mostly wobbly and ill-formed.
Mogg
Ah, but there is no such thing as a wobbly hofficer. What you sergeants will never seem to understand is the state of responsibility that an hofficer is in. They worry. They ardly never wobble.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call to Arms in Battle
Lord Cardigan
Colonel Douglas, I shall expect your very best support!
[calling out]
Colonel Douglas
You shall have it, my lord!
Lord Cardigan
Mind, Douglas, your best support! Draw...swords!.
Lord Cardigan
Well, here goes the last of the Brudenells. The Brigade will advance! Trumpeter, walk...march!
[to himself; Aloud]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Stakes of War and National Honor
Lord Raglan
War. This is war, gentlemen. Our passage to India is threatened, I should think, wouldn't you? The honour, the reputation, the glory of England is threatened, and the Queen's Majesty is sure to be threatened, she is. Poor brave weak little, sick little Turkey--
General Airey
].
[sententiously; [w:The Sick Man of Europe|The Sick Man of Europe]
Raglan
Yes, though I prefer to consider her as a young woman, hands up, fluttered, defenceless-- if she should fall to the ], eh? If the Turks go down like cards, flip-flop, then next, up our own ], and our own Queen will come the Russians! Ships and guns to rip our country into shame!
[[w:Nicholas I|Tyrant; [w:The Solent|Solent]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.