The Chipmunk Adventure (1987) - Quotes

Voice cast: [[w:Dody Goodman|Dody Goodman] ] - Miss Beatrice Miller

Voice cast: [[w:Janice Karman|Janice Karman] ] - Theodore Seville, Brittany Miller, Jeanette Miller, and Eleanor Miller

Voice cast: [[w:Ross Bagdasarian, Jr.|Ross Bagdasarian] ] - Dave Seville, Alvin Seville, and Simon Seville

Claudia: [sticking out of the car window as one of the officers tangles with a vicious Sophie; rides off] If so much as one hair is out of place on my Sophie, you'll live to regret it!

Miss Miller: [sobbing; continues to sob, and blows her nose on Theodore's cloak with a honking noise] I can understand this deception from Alvin, but not you, Theodore.

Theodore: [also tearfully] I'm sorry, Miss Miller.

Dave: [to Jamal] Thanks for all your help, Inspector.

Inspector Jamal: [leaves] Thank you.

Alvin: [to Jamal] Hey, what about my $100,000?!

Brittany: [annoyed] Your $100,000? We won the race!

Alvin: Oh, yeah?!

Brittany: Yeah!

Alvin: Oh, yeah?!

Dave: [unimpressed; walks them over to Miss Miller's convertible] All right, you two. We've got a lot of talking to do.

Alvin and Brittany: Yes, Dave.

Simon: Maybe you should let Dave drive, Miss Miller.

Miss Miller: [as Dave puts Alvin and Brittany both in the backseat with their siblings] I wouldn't think of it. Besides, driving relaxes me. Get in, David.

Alvin: [pleading] But, Dave, they promised us $100,000!

Dave: [exasperated] Not now, Alvin.

Alvin: But, they've got $5,000,000 in diamonds! Don't we get anything?!

Dave: [annoyed] Alvin!

Alvin: But, we've just cracked a huge smuggling ring!

Miss Miller: [shouts as they drive off down the highway, into the sunset] Shut up, Alvin!

Alvin: Okay, okay. We'll give you half.

Dave: [Fade to black, ending the film] ALVIN!!!

Claudia: [[Costa Rica; to Klaus; she and Klaus see Miss Miller approaching them in her convertible and brace themselves for impact] In a few minutes, we'll be on our private jet to ]. Here's to me.

Miss Miller: [alarmed; swerves out of the way] Oh, good heavens!

Theodore: You should have been wearing your seat belts.

Miss Miller: [sees her car mirror falls off; sobs hysterically; angrily storms out of the vehicle; looks the right way to where the villains' wrecked car is] Huh? MY CAR!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE INSURANCE, BUSTER! Huh? Never in all my life have I seen such reckless driving!

Chipmunks: [poking their heads out of the window] Miss Miller?

Miss Miller: [gasps in surprise] Boys?

Dave: [getting out of the car] Kids!

Chipmunks and Chipettes: [running out of the car; they all hug Dave] Dave! You're here!

Alvin: Oh, it's so good to see you, Dave! Uh, I think.

Inspector Jamal: [spots the groaning Furschtein siblings; smugly] Well, if it isn't my old friends, Klaus and Claudia.

Klaus: [disappointed, raises the glass with sarcasm, to his sister; gets cuffed] Here's to you, Claudia.

Claudia: I'm sure you know Sophie, but I don't think you've met Mario. He has a tendency to talk too much.

Klaus: [shoving Alvin aboard their car] Get in!

Alvin: [as his cap is blown off his head by the wind] Hey! My cap!

Dave: [picks up the cap] Hey, this cap look like Alvin's.

Alvin: Dave!

Dave: [turns around] Huh?

Alvin: HELP!

Dave: Somebody, help! My son's in trouble!

Inspector Jamal: [shows Dave his identification card] Inspector Jamal. Let's go.

Claudia: [calling out to the Chipmunks and Chipettes] Oh, wait! Uh, I have a message from...from Miss Miller!

The Chipmunks and Chipettes: Huh?

Claudia: [approaching them] Hand over the dolls, and do as we say if you ever want to see your babysitter again!

Alvin: [thinking about it] Hmm.

Simon: [angrily; takes the bag of dolls from him] Alvin!

Claudia: [sees their balloon; the kids crash land on the pavement as she and Klaus walk over to them] There they are! Children! Oh, children! Oh, how good to see you, darlings!

Alvin: [fiercely points the spear at them] Don't "children" us!

Brittany: Yeah, we know all about the diamonds!

Brittany: [notices something] Hey! What's all that ruckus?! It looks like a big celebration.

Eleanor: [looking through the binoculars; sees Theodore blurred at first; sees Theodore clearly, and gasps] Well, they've got a bonfire... ...and a chubby little butterball tied to a stake. It's Theodore!

Brittany: They've got the chipmunks! Come on!

Alvin: 3:00 in the morning and Prince Theodore has a craving for mushrooms! I hope he chokes on em!

Simon: Alvin!

Alvin: [throws down the mushroom plate to the ground in a fit of anger] Well, I've HAD IT!

Simon: [finds a series of Ancient ideograms on the walls] Hey, Alvin, look over here.

Alvin: What is it, Simon?

Simon: It's ancient writing that says, "Sacrifice the full moon on the Prince of Plenty." That doesn't make any sense. Oh, how silly of me! It's eyes before eats except after teeth. I got it reversed. It says, "Sacrifice the Prince of Plenty on the full moon.

Alvin and Simon: [gasp in alarm] Oh, no!

Simon: They're going to sacrifice Theodore tonight!

Alvin: Over my dead body!

Simon: [annoyed] You mean, over our dead bodies.

Eleanor: I don't get it. Why are people willing to kill for these dolls?

Brittany: [toying with one of the Brittney dolls] Because they're so cute! Oh, look at the sweet little face.

Jeanette: [picks up the doll for the girls to see; it has diamonds coming out of its arm hole] Wait a minute! Look at this! Diamonds!

Eleanor: [gets an Alvin doll] Open a Chipmunk doll.

Brittany: [gasps in horror] There must be thousands of dollars in each of these!!

Jeanette: I don't believe it. This whole race was just to get us to deliver these diamonds.

Brittany: And if we're in danger... the boys must be in danger, too! We've got to find them!

Claudia: [painting her toenails, when the phone rings, grabs the receiver and answers it] Hello.

Phone Voice: Ma'am, we located the girls. They've strayed nearly a thousand miles off course.

Claudia: [angrily; flings her toe polish across her toes. She wipes up the mess with a hand towel] What?! They must have discovered the jewels and decided to make a break for it!

Phone Voice: Well, ma'am? We tried to stop them. But, they were very very slippery.

Claudia: [slams down the phone, angrily stares at the camera] I don't want your excuses! I want those dolls, and don't come back without them!

Eleanor: [trying to feed the baby Penguin] Just one little bite for Auntie Eleanor.

Jeanette: He's getting worse!

Brittany: What can we do?

Eleanor: [wetting a rag; places the wet rag on the baby penguin's head] He needs his mama, Brittany. She'll know what to do.

Brittany: [yawns] Jeanette, could you pass me something to eat?

Eleanor: [wakes up with a gasp in alarm] Don't do it, Jeanette!

Brittany: [gets up; opens the cooler and sees the baby penguin, who waves; gasps] When it comes to food, Eleanor, you're awfully selfish. A penguin?! You are going to eat this penguin?!

Eleanor: [rushes up to the baby penguin; whispers] Don't be ridiculous, Brittany. We've got to get this little guy back to Antarctica. He'll die if we don't.

Brittany: And how do you propose we do that, Eleanor?! Federal Express?!

Eleanor: No! I thought we could take him.

Brittany: And lose the race?! Jeanette, will you please talk some sense to your sister?

Jeanette: She's right, Brittany.

Brittany: [annoyed; to the baby penguin; the baby penguin started crying] You're both crazy! I'm sorry, but we're talking about hundred thousand dollars here and...well... He doesn't look really good, Eleanor.

Eleanor: I told you.

Brittany: [relents] Well, how do we get to Antarctica?

Alvin: What's going on?

Simon: Uh, if I'm translating correctly, I think they said that Theodore is their long-lost Prince of Plenty.

Alvin: [ecstatically] Prince of Plenty? Now, you're talking.

Simon: And the only way for us to live, is to be his slaves.

Alvin: [offended; tries to leave, but the natives blocks him with their spears, forcing him to lift the throne; nervously] Slaves?! Forget it! Where to, Your Royalness?

Jeanette: What's in the ice chest, Eleanor?

Eleanor: Oh, uh, just some cold treats and sandwiches.

Brittany: Oh, Elly! How can you think of food at a time like this?!

Brittany: Oh, no! How do we get our dolls?

Jeanette: [tries to leave] Uh...we don't.

Brittany: [pulls her back] Wait a minute. You've heard of snake charmers, right? Well, let's charm them.

Brittany: [to the maids who dresses her in the Arabic outfit] You don't understand! I don't care how important he is, how powerful he is, how rich he is! -- Uh, by the way, how rich is he?

Arabian Prince: [to his servant] Contact Jamal and tell him he can have the dolls, but I want the girls!

Servant: But Jamal specifically wanted the girls to be returned.

Arabian Prince: [slaps his hand] I do not take orders from Jamal! I am doing him a favor, and as payment, I keep the girls!

Brittany: [sarcastically] Oh! Dream on, Tiny Tim!

Arabian Prince: [making an announcement; falls backwards on his throne] Prepare for the engagement ceremony! In ten years, I will make her one of my wives!

Brittany: [terrified; runs up and clings on Jeanette] One of your wives?! Oh!

Eleanor: [laughs nervously] Excuse me, sir. But, you wouldn't want to marry Brittany. She's...Well, she's very difficult at times.

Jeanette: [puts Brittany down] And she's not too tidy.

Eleanor: And her cooking is sometimes atrocious!

Jeanette: And she spends money more like a drunken sailor!

Eleanor: And...And when she doesn't get her way...

Brittany: [taps her foot impatiently] Alright, that’s enough, you girls!

Jeanette: Oops, sorry Brittany!

Arabian Prince: [then decided] The ceremony will take place at the altar by dawn!

Brittany: [while being dragged off] If you think I'm gonna marry that pint-sized twerp, YOU'RE NUTS!

Arabian Prince: [cracks up laughing; stops laughing] Pint-sized twerp"?! I love that, I love that, I love that! What is a twerp?

Miss Miller: [singing while cooking; the phone rings; picks up the phone] Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you candy. Come on-a my house, my house, I'm gonna give you apple a-plum and apricot-a too-a. Oh, rats! Come on-a my house, my house a-come on. Hello?

Dave: [on the phone] Uh, Miss Miller?

Miss Miller: [brightens] David! How's it goin'?

Dave: I'm just calling to see how everything is.

Miss Miller: Oh, everything is fine. It's quiet as a mouse around here.

Dave: Alvin's behaving himself?

Miss Miller: He is? Well, that's good.

Dave: Could I talk to the boys?

Miss Miller: Well, I don't see why not.

Dave: Is Alvin available?

Miss Miller: Available for what?

Dave: To talk?

Miss Miller: Well, how should I know?

Dave: Look, Miss Miller, I just called to see if everything was all right.

Miss Miller: Everything's fine, David.

Dave: Well, give the boys my love.

Miss Miller: Why don't you give them your love?

Dave: Well, are they available?

Miss Miller: Available for what?

Dave: Never mind. Nice talking to you, Miss Miller.

Miss Miller: [Dave hangs up; annoyed, she hangs up; continues singing while getting back to cooking] You too, David. And David? Get some rest, will you? Oh, that poor man is losing his marbles. Come on-a my house, my house I'm gonna give a-you figs and dates and grapes and cakes-a.

Dave: [to himself; leaves in confusion] I could've sworn...No, it couldn't be. The boys wouldn't...Would they?

Alvin: I love Athens. The nightlife, the girls, the excitement.

Simon: Alvin, you've never been to Athens.

Alvin: Well, it looks like a city I would love.

Theodore: [gasps as he spots a nearby food stand and tiptoes over; to the merchant] I'll have a large order of couscous, and two yalanchi donuts. Quickly, please!

Brittany: [off-screen] I saw it first!

Alvin: [surprised] Brittany?!

Brittany: [also surprised] Alvin?! What are you doing here?!

Alvin: We're on our way to Istanbul! What are you doing here?!

Brittany: We're on our way to Cairo!

Simon: Uh, have you guys had any, uh, trouble along the way?

Jeanette: Well, there was this guy...

Brittany: [covers Jeanette's mouth] Uh, we've had nothing but smooth sailing. And you?

Simon: Well, actually, I get the feeling...

Alvin: [covers Simon's mouth; finally snatches the apple from Brittany] It's been a piece of cake! The only problem we have is crowd control! We're the hottest act in rock-and-roll. But you don't have that problem, do you?

Jeanette: No. (Not really.)

Brittany: Sure, we do!

Eleanor: Shhhh!!

Alvin: [laughs] No, you don't.

Brittany: [angrily, as Eleanor tries to hold her back; storms up to him] All right, Mr. Popularity! How much you wanna bet we can out-rock-and-roll you?!

Simon: [to Jeanette] We've got to keep these two apart.

Alvin: [grabs Theodore and yanks him away] Come on, Theodore!

Theodore: But my couscous!

Eleanor: We thought you were a goner.

Brittany: Me too.

Eleanor: We would've been lost without you.

Brittany: I know.

Eleanor: [picks up the Theodore doll and kisses it] Thank goodness, you're all right!

Brittany: [offended; glares at Eleanor] WHAT?!

Eleanor: [chuckles] Just kidding, Brit.

Jeanette: Come on, guys. We've got a whole world to see!

Theodore: Isn't Rio beautiful?

Simon: We're in Mexico, Theodore.

Theodore: Oh! That's what I mean.

Simon: [their balloon instead lands in a tree; they jump off the balloon] Alvin, land the balloon by the fountain. Like I said, in the tree. Your first drop-off is the Cluck N Taco.

Alvin: You mean our first drop-off.

Simon: [wisely] I'm only along to see you don't get into too much trouble.

Theodore: [sees the restaurant up ahead; runs up to a counter] Hey, there it is! The Cluck N Taco! I'll have two cheese enchiladas with extra sauce, and a tostada grande, oh, and a quesadilla with a side of guacamole, uh, two chile...

Simon: [setting him down] They're closed, Theodore.

Alvin: [at another counter, where a mechanical sombrero is located] Oh, fellas!

Simon: The instructions say to drop the doll under the little sombrero.

Alvin: [grabs the Brittany doll] Well, what do you know? One down, and eleven to go!

Theodore: [the window is quickly shut] And one quesa... ...dilla.

Simon: Forget it, Theodore.

Alvin: [chuckles] And you thought we were gonna have trouble.

Brittany: Well, that was quite a breeze!

Jeanette: A "breeze"?! It was a hurricane! Just like Simon said!

Eleanor: Yeah, Brittany. Why don't you just admit you were wrong.

Brittany: [looking at herself in the mirror] Because I don't think...

Jeanette and Eleanor: Brittany!

Brittany: [but changes the subject] Okay, okay! I was wr...wr...wr... Jeanette, where's our first drop-off?

Jeanette: [points at the fishing boat] We need Mr. Anton at the Flying Surprise.

Claudia: Now, here are the rules...Each of you will be taken a different route.

Klaus: [secretly smuggling the money and diamonds inside the dolls] And to make sure to travel completely Around the World. Both teams must deposit one doll on twelve different locations...You'll be giving opposing team's doll to verify you were there. The first one back wins $100,000!

Alvin: A hundred...

Brittany: Thousand dollars!

Jeanette: [walks over to Simon] Simon, which route do you think we should take to Bermuda?

Simon: [Brittany notices] Well, if you insist on going, don't take the east-turning route. I heard on the news that there's a hurricane coming in that direction.

Brittany: [drags Jeanette away] Thank you for your advice, Simon. What a liar! He's getting as bad as Alvin.

Jeanette: But what if he's telling the truth, Brittany?

Brittany: Oh, Jeanette, don't be so naïve. He's just saying that because our route is shorter, and he doesn't want us to win.

Brittany: So, Alvin, you finally showed up.

Alvin: Well, somebody has to win the race.

Alvin: [grabs the phone, pretending to talk to Dave; gives her the phone] Hello? Dave! What a coincidence! We were just talking about you! Sure. Miss Miller, it's Dave. He wants to talk to you.

Miss Miller: Hello?

Dave: [recording] .eyb-eyB .eporuE ni em teem ot, erodoehT dna, nomiS, nivlA tnaw I ?relliM ssiM ,olleH .Eporue ni em teem ot...

Miss Miller: [rubs her ear] Huh?

Simon: It's not your hearing aid, Miss Miller.

Alvin: [laughs nervously; glares at Simon] It's a bad connection.

Dave: [recording in slow-motion] Hello, Miss Miller...

Miss Miller: David, are you drunk?

Dave: [recording] Hello, Miss Miller? I want Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, to meet me in Europe. Bye-bye.

Miss Miller: Could you repeat that, David?

Alvin: Klaus and Claudia wanted us here at 2:00. I hope we're not too late.

Theodore: Simon, I feel kinda funny about tricking Miss Miller.

Simon: It's called "guilt", Theodore.

Alvin: Come on, Simon. Help me out.

Simon: [firmly] Absolutely not. I refuse to be a part of this deception.

Alvin: Okay, Theodore, it's you and me. We just need Dave to say: "Hello, Miss Miller, I want Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, to meet me in Europe. Bye-bye." Is the tape recorder ready?

Theodore: [wrapped around in recording tape; nervously] I think so.

Simon: I can't believe you'd deceive Miss Miller for a package of Tutti Frutti, Theodore.

Theodore: [holds them out] Two packages.

Alvin: What could be better? An all-expense-paid trip around the world and a chance at winning $100,000. Besides, we'll be back before Dave gets home.

Simon: Do you realize it's 3:00 in the morning where Dave is?

Alvin: [begins dialing the number] Exactly. He'll be putty in my hands.

Simon: Look out on the left, Alvin. You're not going to make it.

Eleanor: Brittany. Oh, Alvin.

Jeanette: Faster, Alvin. Faster. Hurry.

Simon: Go, Alvin.

Jeanette and Eleanor: Brittany.

Simon: [Alvin crashes his balloon into the Sphinx.] Look out for the... ...Sphinx.

Alvin: Aw, nuts.

Theodore: Since when does Alvin like playing Around the World in 30 Days?

Simon: Since he feels it's as close to a world trip as he'll ever get.

Kids: Come on. Hurry.

Claudia: We have people waiting around the world for $5 million in diamonds, and we can't get anyone to deliver them.

Klaus: [Her brother, Klaus, lets off a puff of smoke.] What about Ivan?

Claudia: [Claudia breathes on her cigarette holder, causing her to cough on some smoke, which gets into the throat of her pet terrier, Sophie, who wheezes on her mistress' smoke, too, as she sits inside her mistress' purse. She turns to her head and whimpers.; Claudia pets Sophie's head; angrily.; She cries, and Sophie kindly hands her a handkerchief.] Oh, we've used him too often. Jamal knows his face. Oh, sorry, Sophie. We need someone new. Someone Jamal would never suspect. Don't forget, dear brother, last year Jamal robbed us of $3 million worth of priceless, precious, gorgeous, spectacular to die for gems! Thank you, Sophie.

Klaus: [embarrassed] Oh, Claudia, please. Not here.

Simon and Theodore: Come on, Alvin!

Jeanette and Eleanor: Brittany, watch out!

Claudia: [scowling] Noisy brats!

Simon: Go, Alvin.

Jeanette and Eleanor: Brittany.

Theodore: [Sophie scowls at them as well, as the camera cuts back to the kids.] Go! To the left, Alvin! To the left!

Alvin: Leave me alone!

Theodore: [Alvin's balloon hits an obstacle on the map screen, as Theodore turns to Simon] Watch out! The Chipettes are winning.

Alvin: I heard that, Theodore.

Simon: You need to take the shortcut across Fiji, Alvin.

Theodore: Oh, not that. It's too dangerous!

Alvin: [determinedly] It's my only chance!

Eleanor: [She sees Alvin's balloon gaining in on her sister's balloon.] Oh, Brittany, be careful.

Simon: You're gaining, Alvin.

Alvin: [After Alvin loses the ''Around the World in 30 Days'' arcade game to Brittany] NO!!!

Brittany: [victoriously] Hooray! I won!

Alvin: [jealously] You're lucky this is only a game! You'd never beat me if this was for real!

Brittany: [offended] Oh, is that so?!

Alvin: Yeah, that so! If I had the money, I'd race you around the world right now!

Brittany: Oh, no, you can't!

Alvin: I haven't had something special in my life! You never let me win!

Claudia: [lightens up as she watches their argument and gets a devious idea] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Klaus: Oh, don't be ridiculous. It's too dangerous. They're only children.

Claudia: Exactly. Who would suspect them?

Klaus: No, Claudia, it's out of the question.

Claudia: [slams on the table] Listen to me, Klaus! If you think I'm going to let you botch up this deal like you did the last one...

Klaus: Must you keep reminding me?! I underestimated Jamal! It won't happen again!

Claudia: [strictly] You bet it won't! We're doing things my way this time!

Brittany: [continues arguing with Alvin] Well, unless you inherit a fortune, Alvin, I guess we'll never know.

Klaus: [to the Chipmunks and the Chipettes] Excuse us, but we couldn't help but overhear your conversation.

Claudia: We were just wondering if you really could win a race around the world.

Brittany: [stepping in] I would!

Alvin: [covering Brittany's mouth] Not a chance!

Klaus: I know she could win.

Claudia: Would you like to make a little wager?

Klaus: [to Brittany] Why not? I bet a million dollars on this cutie.

Claudia: [to Alvin] And I bet on this handsome gentleman.

Alvin: [smiles; then realizes] A million dollars? You're joking, right?

Klaus: [Sophie pops her head out of Claudia's purse; stuffs her back in] Certainly not. We're quite wealthy, and very bored. Allow me to introduce ourselves. My name is Klaus Furschtien, and this is my sister Claudia. And Sophie.

Alvin: We're the Chipmunks!

Theodore: And these are our friends the Chipettes!

Claudia: [feign admired] Oh, the Chipmunks and Chipettes!

Dave: [searching through his clothes] The taxi's gonna be here any minute, and I'm not even packed! Has anyone seen my tie?

Simon: [highlighting the tour book] You're wearing it, Dave.

Dave: [sees that he's wearing his tie in the mirror; grabs some clothes, but his mittens fall off] Thanks, Simon.

Theodore: [hands Dave the mittens while eating his sandwich] Don't forget your mittens, Dave! It's cold in Europe.

Dave: [grabs the mittens and puts them on a pile of his clothes in his suitcase] Oh, thanks, Theodore.

Simon: [finished highlighting the tour book] And don't forget your tour book. I'm marking all the great cities you'll want to visit.

Dave: [looking through his clothes] Great, Simon. Now let's see...Shirts, pants, overcoats, socks...Am I forgetting everything?

Alvin: [rushes in; jumps on Theodore and landed in the suitcase] Me!

Dave: [opens the suitcase] Alvin, we've been through this a million times!

Alvin: [to Dave] Please, Dave! I need a little culture in my life, the Eiffel Tower, the Sistine Chapel, the Louvre in Rome!

Simon: The Louvre is in Paris, Alvin.

Alvin: [to Dave; grabs Dave's legs] See? I don't even know where the louvre is! Please, take me with you, Dave!

Dave: Alvin, for the very last time, this is strictly a business trip, it's just not practical. Besides, I've hired someone very good to take care of you while I'm gone.

Simon: Did it have to be Miss Miller, Dave?

Dave: Now, come on, fellas, she's a very nice woman.

Miss Miller: Yoo-hoo! I'm here! Hello! Anybody home?

Kids: Up here!

Miss Miller: Dave? Boys?

Kids: We're up here!

Miss Miller: Hello! Hello!

Dave: [At that moment, Dave's taxi arrives outside the front door. The boys look upset.; He hugs them and runs down the stairs, as the driver waits for Dave outside.] We'll be right down. Well, my taxi's here. I'm sure gonna miss you, boys.

Miss Miller: Hello!

Dave: [to the taxi driver] Just a minute!

Miss Miller: [gives Dave his jacket] David, your jacket!

Dave: Oh, thanks.

Simon: [gives Dave his plane tickets] And your tickets!

Dave: [Alvin opens the door for him; Alvin sneaks aboard, annoying him] Thanks, Simon. Thanks, Alvin. ALVIN!!

Miss Miller: Don't worry about a thing, David! The boys will be fine!

Simon and Theodore: Bye, Dave!

Miss Miller: [kindly to a miserable Alvin resting against her arms] Don't worry, dear. You'll get to see the world soon enough.