14 quotes
A Mysterious Visitor with a Mustache
Bob Adams
Oh Mr. Hammer, there's a man outside wants to see you with a black mustache.
Hammer
Tell him I've got one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Paying for Lodging
Chico
We no got one cent.
Hammer
How you gonna pay for your room?
Chico
That's your lookout!
Hammer
Oh, I see! You're just an idle roomer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Certainty in a Conversation
Hammer
Are you sure your husband is dead?
Mrs. Potter
Why....yes.
Hammer
There seems to be a slight trace of uncertainty in that "yes". A "yes" like that was once responsible for me jumping out of a window. And I'm not the jumper I used to be.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cemetery Humor and Dark Promises
Hammer
Now this is our cemetery. I've got a list of a hundred people just dying to get in. But I like you and I'm going to shove you in ahead of all of them. I'm going to get you a steady position. And if I can arrange it, it'll be horizontal.
[to Chico]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Wealth: A Conditional Relationship
Mrs. Potter
I don't think you'd love me if I were poor.
Hammer
I might, but I'd keep my mouth shut.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Neighborhoods and Ducks in Conversation
Hammer
All along the river, those are all levees.
Chico
That's the Jewish neighborhood?
Hammer
Well, we'll Passover that....You're a peach, boy. Now, here is a little peninsula, and, eh, here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico
Why a duck?
Hammer
I'm alright, how are you? I say, here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico
Alright, why a duck?
Hammer
I'm not playing "Ask Me Another," I say that's a viaduct.
[pause]
Chico
Alright! Why a duck? Why that...why a duck? Why a no chicken?
Hammer
Well, I don't know why a no chicken; I'm a stranger here myself. All I know is that it's a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken and you'll find out why a duck.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
From Poverty to a Nickel in Florida
Hammer
Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Engagement with Humor and Toasts
Hammer
And now, friends, in view of the fact that Miss Potter's engagement is being celebrated here tonight, so to speak, I think a few words from her mother would be revolting! I now take great pleasure in presenting to you the well-preserved and partially pickled, Mrs. Potter.
Mrs. Potter
My good, good friends. If I could only tell you how rosy-hued everything seems to me tonight. As I look into your faces, they're all lit with gay laughter. The whole world and everything in it is bathed in a soft, glowing luminous haze...
Hammer
The old gal is stewed to the eyebrows.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of the Extraordinary Over the Ordinary
Hammer
Well, I got rid of one. And one like that is worth three ordinary ones!
[Watching Harpo wobble away from the banquet table]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Paramount's Musical Comedy Hit Announcement
Taglines
Paramount's All Talking-Singing Musical Comedy Hit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Empty Suitcase, Future Plans
Hammer
Hey, do you know your suitcase is empty?
Chico
Don't worry, we fill it up before we leave.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mingling at the Auction
Hammer
Now when the auction starts, I want you to mingle with the guests. Don't pick their pockets, just mingle with them.
Chico
I find time for both.
Hammer
Well, maybe we can cut out the auction!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Offer for Ice Water
Hammer
Ice water in room 318? No kidding, where'd you get it? Oh, you WANT some! I'll send up an onion, that'll make your ice water!
[on telephone; pause]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding of Auctions in Conversation
Hammer
Do you know what an auction is?
Chico
Sure. I come here from Italy on the Atlantic Auction!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.