The Dish (2001) - Quotes

Taglines: Houston's other problem.

Taglines: Based on the true story of what we didn't see.

Taglines: As Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, our only link was a satellite dish in rural Australia with a few bugs (And a few hundred sheep).

Taglines: Man's first step on the moon nearly stumbled on earth.

Len Purvis: [sotto voce, while discreetly handing Mayor McIntyre a note from behind] That was Cliff on the phone.

Mayor McIntyre: [disbelieving; shouting, excited] The pictures...they came from us! You bloody beauty!

Prime minister: [obviously drunk; he drains his teacup full of whiskey] Bloody fantastic! Here's to Parkes!

Ambassador Hutfield: I'd do the same. If I'd just landed on the moon, I wouldn't want to be sleeping.

Prime minister: It's a bit like telling a kid to sleep on Christmas morning, eh, Howard?

Bronwyn Spiers: More tea, prime minister?

Prime minister: [he holds out his tea cup. Bronwyn produces a decanter of whiskey and pours it into the cup surreptitiously] Ah, yes... ...lovely.

Bob McIntyre: [shrugs] ...Nothing is certain, no guarantees. Life, I guess.

Prime minister: [in a slightly threatening tone] You're joking, aren't you, McIntyre?

Bob McIntyre: [quickly; he smiles weakly] Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine.

Prime minister: You know, McIntyre, we have a saying in the party: You don't fuck up...

Bob McIntyre: ...and?

Prime minister: [he looks away and moves off] That's it.

Al Burnett: [cringing] Christ! What the hell was that?

Cliff Buxton: Drive cog must have slipped a few teeth.

Ross Mitch Mitchell: Either that, or Janine's trying to park.

Al Burnett: Not everyone at NASA is a hotshot college genius. The guy I most admire is from a one-horse town in Ohio.

Ross Mitch Mitchell: And what's he do?

Al Burnett: Tomorrow he's gonna walk on the moon.

Glenn Latham: ...Who's the guy?

Rudi Kellerman: What's the bell for?

Ross Mitch Mitchell: Lets us know it's windy.

Rudi Kellerman: Oh, well I could'a told you that, it's blowin a bloody gale outside!

Glenn Latham: Thanks for bringing the sandwiches.

Janine Kellerman: That's all right...thanks for fixing my bumper bar.

Glenn Latham: [holds up sledge hammer] Oh, that's all right.

Janine Kellerman: Maybe...

Glenn Latham: [speaking at the same time as Janine] I was wondering if...

Janine Kellerman: [hopefully] What were you going to say?

Glenn Latham: [quickly and timidly; he pauses, then, hopefully] Nothing. What were you going to say?

Janine Kellerman: [flustered] Nothing.

Cliff Buxton: [off camera] He ask her out yet?

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: [pause as he continues to observe Glenn and Janine; he turns away] No. Oh, this is painful.

Glenn Latham: Imagine the Earth is a basketball...

Ross Mitch Mitchell: [Cliff glares] This should be good.

Glenn Latham: And imagine Parkes is...what's that thing you put the pump into?

Ross Mitch Mitchell: The hole.

Glenn Latham: Yeah, but it's got a name...oh, the valve! Well, this is the Parkes valve, and on the other side is another valve --

Ross Mitch Mitchell: You know, basketballs only have one valve.

Glenn Latham: Well, what's something that's got two valves?

Ross Mitch Mitchell: Tuba?

Glenn Latham: It's gotta be round.

Ross Mitch Mitchell: Tamborine?

Glenn Latham: That doesn't have valves!

Ross Mitch Mitchell: [mimes drilling holes in coconut] Coconut! You could...

Cliff Buxton: [sotto voce] Mitch!

Glenn Latham: Well, imagine a basketball that's got two valves...

Janine Kellerman: I get it - when the Goldstone valve can't see Apollo Eleven, the Parkes valve can!

Glenn Latham: [relaxes] Exactly.

Cliff Buxton: [grinning] Well done, Glenn!

Al Burnett: [looking out the window] ...I know where Apollo 11 is.

Al Burnett: [turning; indicates the moon, visible through the window] It's on it's way to the moon. That's your point of reference.

Al Burnedd: If they've gone 150,000 miles, they've gotta be within 3, 4 degrees.

Glenn Latham: That might be okay.

Cliff Buxton: I think that might be okay.

Glenn Latham: [brightening] Yeah!

Ross Mitch Mitchell: [he indicates a blackboard, completely packed with complex calculations and figures] So... ...we can rub this out?

Cliff Buxton: Do you know what I thought when this first came up?

Glenn Latham: What, your pipe?

Cliff Buxton: No. The moon mission.

Glenn Latham: You beauty?

Cliff Buxton: I thought, "imagine stuffing that up". Isn't that odd?

Glenn Latham: What?

Cliff Buxton: Well, that I was more scared than excited.

Glenn Latham: I don't think that's odd. I feel like that all the time.

Cliff Buxton: My wife said something, she said: "Failure is never quite so frightening as regret.

Glenn Latham: Oh, that's good advice. I wish someone would tell me that.

Cliff Buxton: God bless ya, Glenn.

Janine Kellerman: You've got a gun!

Rudi Kellerman: [looking smug and officious] Yep. Official NASA requirement, armed security.

Janine Kellerman: Does mum know?

Rudi Kellerman: [looking worried] No...and don't you tell her, either, Janine! She'll come here and she'll take it off me or something.

Al Burnett: [through radio] Columbia, Houston. Guidance systems OK. You're still go for auto.

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: [American accent through radio] Copy that.

Al Burnett: [through radio] Telemetry reports that O2 and CO2 are OK and steady, and biomed telemetry is now reading your vital statistics as being adequate within the limits.

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: [American accent through radio] Copy that.

Al Burnett: [through radio; [Neil Armstrong|Neil] ], we have you currently at 124,000 nautical miles from Earth and at an approach velocity of 32,000 feet per second.

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: [American accent through radio] Copy that.

Al Burnett: [through radio] We might just let you get back to work.

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: [American accent through radio] Copy that.

Rudi Kellerman: [through radio] Is that you, Neil?

Rudi Kellerman: I repeat, this is sector A. Is that you, Mr. Armstrong?

Cliff Buxton: [quickly throws a switch, cutting off the radio] That's funny. Must be a crossed line from Honeysuckle Creek.

Cliff Buxton: Sir, I'm afraid we're going to be entering overlap...

Ambassador Hutfield: Oh! You mean you'll be receiving transmissions?

Cliff Buxton: Yes...

Ambassador Hutfield: You'll be able to hear Armstrong talking to Houston??

Cliff Buxton: [indicates the control panel behind the ambassador] Yes...just by hitting a few buttons there...

Ambassador Hutfield: [in a tone that indicates that he is almost, but not quite, sexually excited] Ohhhh, let's do that.

Cliff Buxton: [indicating controls; indicates another dial] That moves the dish up and down... and that's your sideways movement.

Ambassador Hutfield: [he pauses, we see the entire dish operations team in the background looking tense] It's amazing, simply amazing. You can actually pinpoint a tiiiiny spaceship, thousands of miles away and lock onto it?

Cliff Buxton: [he smiles weakly] ...Pretty much.

Rudi Kellerman: [through radio] You've got a visitor. It's the ambassador.

Rudi Kellerman: [through radio] From the United States of America.

Al Burnett: Oh, God.

Rudi Kellerman: [through radio] Is this thing working?

Cliff Buxton: Just a minute, Rudi.

Rudi Kellerman: Roger that, sector G, confirm sector A hold on.

Al Burnett: Well, he asked to come visit last night...I didn't think he'd be here so soon!

Cliff Buxton: [with obviously forced patience, holding up radio to Al's face in evidence] He's here.

Al Burnett: [He's a] Space nut. Knows everything about Apollo 11.

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: Does he know where it is?

Rudi Kellerman: [off, in the background, we see his silhouette and a flashlight] Who goes there?

Cliff Buxton: [shouting over his shoulder] It's just us, Rudi!

Rudi Kellerman: Oh, all right!

Rudi Kellerman: Who?

Cliff Buxton: Cliff and Bob!

Rudi Kellerman: Ah! Hey, Bob!

Mayor Bob McIntyre: Rudi!

Rudi Kellerman: How are ya?

Mayor Bob McIntyre: Good, fine!

Rudi Kellerman: [off-screen, in the distance] Halt! Who goes there?

Mayor Bob McIntyre: You remember that night at my place? Trying to sort out the contract with that fella from NASA? What about this? What about that? Two hours, and you finally speak. Gentlemen, this should be the contract: We agree to support the Apollo 11 mission. That was it - one sentence. They couldn't believe it. It was a wonderful moment.

Cliff Buxton: But this isn't.

Mayor Bob McIntyre: No, this is a shithouse moment.

Mayor Bob McIntyre: What if you come clean, just tell NASA?

Cliff Buxton: Tell them what?

Mayor Bob McIntyre: [stuttering] th- th- that um...

Cliff Buxton: That we lost Apollo 11?

Mayor Bob McIntyre: Well...I wouldn't say that first.

Cliff Buxton: What would you say first?

Mayor Bob McIntyre: Well, you know..."hey, you'll never guess what happened...”?

Glenn Latham: Everything's fine.

Al Burnett: Except we've lost Apollo 11!

Glenn Latham: Well, except for that.

NASA network control official: [via radio link] PKS, Houston NC.

Al Burnett: Go ahead, Houston.

NASA NCO: I've spoken to INCO, and we're no closer to finding this breakdown...are you sure the problem is downstream?

Al Burnett: [we see Mitch and Glenn cringe] PKS... ...still on-line, Houston. Confirming loss of signal downstream.

NASA NCO: Roger, PKS...will maintain alternative feed.

Al Burnett: [putting the mic down] What have I done?

Glenn Lathem: [offhand] Bullshitted NASA.

Cliff Buxton: Good man, Al.

Al Burnett: Are you telling me that NASA's prime receiving station has absolutely no idea where Apollo 11 is?

Glenn Latham: Yeah - it's on its way to the moon.

Reporter: No offense, but NASA spends ten years, billions of dollars so that we can watch man walk on the moon and in the end it falls to you blokes! I mean, how do you feel about that?

Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: A lot better before you opened your trap!

Ross Mitch Mitchell: Cliff...That's bullshit. You just bullshitted NASA!

Mayor Bob McIntyre: [after band plays 'God Save the Queen' badly; There is a pause, then the band plays the ''[[W:Hawaii Five-0|Hawaii Five-0] Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, please remain upstanding for the national anthem of the United States of America. ] theme]

Cliff Buxton: [last lines] ... and it's still in the middle of a sheep paddock.

Cliff Buxton: We sit here on our arses for five bloody days. Not a breath of bloody wind. Then, on cue, out of nowhere, just when it's our turn, a bloody cyclone decides to park its arse on us! Um... I'm sorry, lads. I just... ..might just go check some bloody thing

Cliff Buxton: This is science's chance to be daring.