The Gentlemen Quotes

Raymond You really can't unsee it once you've seen it.

Raymond I don't build a joint like the Americans in the new school. Back strapping, jock strap and coke wrapping all that bollocks. I like a good old fashioned 50/50 mix me that's how we used to play.

Fletcher He wants to ruin him, but I am here to do you a favor. And it's not like you're not getting something for your money. You could even turn that script into a feature film, Raymond. We could make it together. We could be partners. I have learned off you lot. You got to look after number one, and now it's my turn. The sun is not going up for me, Ray. It's going down.

Ray You're wrong, Fletcher. That's not how Michael works.

Fletcher Yeah, I know. I know. I was just having a bit of fun. Every movie needs a bit of action, doesn't it? And it's not like Michael doesn't have a reputation.

Ray Had a reputation. He's been gentrified.

Fletcher I think the time has come for me to introduce you to our queen. A Cockney Cleopatra to Mickey's cowboy Caesar. The only weak link, in his otherwise impregnable armor, is his devotion, his passion, some would say his obsession, with his beauteous lady wife.

Dry Eye Ask no questions, hear no lies.

Fletcher Can I come with you?

Raymond No, but you can go smoke the exhaust pipe in the back of your hearse.

Fletcher I might come anyway. You'll just hear me scratching about in the dark, wanking into a hanky.

Dry Eye A gentleman's quote is a gentleman's word.

Mickey Pearson There's only one rule in the jungle: when the lion's hungry, he eats!

Fletcher Enter our protagonist. He's good looking. He's gorgeous. He's golden age. He's a proper handsome cunt. His name is Mickey Pearson. Unique background has our Mickey. American born, Rhodes scholar. So he's born clever, but poor. Now that's quite a leap from a trailer park in Americana to the thousand year-old university in old Angleterre, where he studies the dark art of horticulture. But he never finished his education, never went home, because he found his vocation. A naughty vocation. He's a bad boy. He starts dealing the dirty wonder weed to his rich, British, upper-class uni pals, and realizes he's rather good at it. But now the plot begins to thicken. He has reached a crossroads in his life. The middle class and the middle age, they've got to him. They've corrupted his appetite for the horrors. He's gone soft. He wanted to cash in his chips, and get out of the game, and he seems to have found the perfect customer.

Coach Shut the Phuc...

Michael Pearson If you wish to be The King of the jungle, it's not enough to act like a king. You must be The King. And there can be no doubt. Because doubt causes chaos and one's own demise.

Brown What am I guilty of?

Ray Being a cunt, Brown. Being a cunt.

Rosalind Pearson Look, you'll have to do this elegantly, love. If word spreads that you're getting out, that could read as weakness. And if you smell smoke, it's because there's a fire, and that could get expensive. So you're going to have to stamp that out without any gentrification. But not you, love. Don't you do anything messy. That's why you've got people, remember?

Raymond You're wrong, Fletcher. Micky doesn't work like that.

Michael Pearson Any chance?

Raymond Who are you talking about know?

Fletcher I talk Raymondo of Dry Eye. Oh Dry Eye, what is he? Chinese, Japanese, Pekingese, get on your fucking knees. Dirty dragon filth. Yellow is the colour, gambling is the game

Fletcher Play a game with me, Ray.

Raymond No.

Fletcher Oh, please.

Raymond I said no.

Fletcher Play a fucking game with me, Ray.

Raymond ...right.

Dry Eye I understand you're getting out.

Mickey Pearson Getting out. Getting out of what? Bed? My head? The closet? Don't flirt with me, Dry Eye. I'm a busy man.

Dry Eye I hear you're getting out of the game. And I would like you to consider an offer.

Mickey Pearson Look, I'm going to stop you right there, so you don't waste any more of your precious breath, young man. This is not a discussion for the two of us. Unlike the salt and pepper, it's not on the table. I am not for sale. And even if I was, you're several zeros short. Now, you may be able to buy your man's sausage for that, but to me it just looks rude at breakfast.

Dry Eye You're out of touch. You're forgetting the laws of the jungle, looking down on me. Now, when the silverback's got more silver than back, he best move on before he gets moved on. It's not dignified. It's beneath you, Michael. Trying to do you a favor. This is a big fucking number.

Mickey Pearson And this? Well, this is a big fucking gun. Eyes not so dry now, are they? Hurts, does it? You looking for your balls, or a hole in the wall?

Dry Eye Fuck!

Mickey Pearson Where the fuck do you think you're going? Because you're not going out the way you came in, you deluded duck-eating cunt! Talking to me about the laws of the jungle. What was it? Something about being beneath me? Silver on back? There's only one rule in this fucking jungle! When the lion's hungry, he eats!

Mickey Pearson I you wish to be the king of the jungle, it's not enough to act like a king. you must be the king. There can be no doubt. Because doubt causes chaos and one's own demise.

Rosalind Pearson He's a fox, and foxes have a predictable nature. Trust this Jew about that Jew. If you let him in the henhouse, you can expect blood and feathers everywhere.

Coach Youse are embarrassing yourself here, lads. Kids stab, girls shoot, boys punch. Grown-ups fight with their heads. That's where the real battle is. Up here, in the gray. Now wake up, lads. Life's quick, you're slow. Life's hard on a bone top.

Rosalind Pearson Ah! He's bought you a gun. That's a nice little gift. Five years in prison, all in one little box.

Mickey Pearson Oh, but that's not a gun, dear. That's a paperweight.

Rosalind Pearson Course it is. Along with a family of six baby bullets.

Mickey Pearson I like middle age. I like gentrification, private schools, fine wines, and a spoonful of caviar to help my medicine go down. But most importantly, I'm looking forward to spending more time with you.

Rosalind Pearson Of course you are.

Ernie Did he just call me a black cunt?

Coach Yes, he did.

Ernie He can't do that. That's racist.

Coach But you are black and you are a cunt, Ernie. Those are the facts. I don't think Primetime cares what race you run in.

Ernie The fact that I'm black has nothing to do with the fact I'm a cunt.

Coach He didn't say black people were cunts, Ernie. He was being specific to you. One has nothing to do with the other. And I'd go a step further and say it was a term of affection.

Ernie Primetime's a Gypsy. I wouldn't call him a pikey cunt.

Coach Why not? He might be very understanding. Only if it comes from a place of love, of course.

Michael Pearson No sooner do I entertain Matthew's offer to buy me out and reject Dry Eye's offer does one of my farms get raided.

Rosalind Pearson First time ever.

Michael Pearson Doesn't feel like a coincidence, does it?

Rosalind Pearson It isn't. There's fuckery afoot.

Michael Pearson Fucks sake, Ray. You need to invest in some parachutes. There's a pattern emerging here.

Ray Stop fuckin around cunt! Gimme the phone... and take the money.

Dry Eye The young succeed the old!

Mickey Pearson I've gone to great lengths to make my operation as invisible as possible, Matthew. If you were standing on my bush, you wouldn't know it. As a matter of fact, you are standing on my bush.

Rosalind Pearson Look, I don't want you knocking around here feeling all unemployed and lost with yourself.

Mickey Pearson Well, fuck me. Most wives would beg their other halves to get out of this game, but not you.

Rosalind Pearson That's because I know you, darling.