The Gods Must Be Crazy (1984) - Quotes

The Fear of Admitting Mistakes

Kate Thompson: Are you scared it'll spoil your image if you admit you made a mistake?

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Refusal to Discuss Personal Matters

Kate Thompson: I don't want to talk about it.

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A Statement of Intervention by Frank

Frank: I stopped them. Sir!

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Frank Reports a Security Breach

Frank: Sir! Sir! Some people went through here. They didn't show me their passports and they smashed down the barrier. They've got guns. This is Frank speaking, Sir.

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Perception and Misunderstanding in Academia

Andrew Steyn: She thinks I'm a lunatic and I don't blame her. You know she asked me what do I do? And I said I collect manure. I don't tell her that I analyze it for my doctoral thesis. I bet she thinks that I shovel the stuff.

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Desire for Silence and Reflection

Andrew Steyn: I don't want to talk about it.

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Cautionary Advice About Wait-a-bit Trees

Andrew Steyn: That's a Wait-a-bit tree. You mustn't go near a Wait-a-bit tree. They grab you. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acacia_greggii)

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Understanding Tswana Communication Styles

Andrew Steyn: They're Tswanas. They always shake their heads when they mean to say yes.

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The Nature of Rhinoceros Behavior

Andrew Steyn: Miss Thompson, if you make a fire, and a rhinoceros sees it he comes and stamps it out. Rhinos do that. It's a most interesting phenomenon.

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The Inarticulate Nature of the Gods

The Narrator: The funny thing about these gods was that they couldn't speak. They could only make chattering sounds like monkeys.

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A Curious Encounter with an Unusual Creature

The Narrator: There was a peculiar sound, and then Xi saw a most amazing animal approaching. Its legs went around instead of up and down. And there was a weird-looking god on its back. He wore a blue skin on his head and red one on his body. And hair grew on his face.

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The Burden of Unwelcome Gifts

The Narrator: There was another god. He had a fire inside him, and the smoke came out through his mouth and nostrils. Xi said politely, "It was kind of you to send us this thing but it made my family unhappy. Please take it back".

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Encountering the Unfamiliar: A Moment of Wonder

The Narrator: That morning, Xi saw the ugliest person he'd ever come across. She was as pale as something that had crawled out of a rotting log. Her hair was quite gruesome long and stringy and white, as if she was very old. She was very big. You'd have to dig the whole day to find enough food to feed her. Although it was a hot day, she was covering her body with skins that looked as if they were made from cobwebs. She was doing strange and magical things, and it struck him that she must be one of the gods, and he wondered what she was doing on Earth. But he was glad he met her. He'd give her the evil thing and go home to his family. He said tactfully that he didn't need the thing, and she could have it back. But she was very rude, and she walked away.

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Rhino's Role in Fire Prevention

The Narrator: The rhino is the self-appointed fire-prevention officer. When he sees a fire, he rushes in and stamps it out.

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Peculiar Tracks of a Noisy Animal

The Narrator: One day, a very noisy animal rushed past where Xi was sleeping. It left very peculiar tracks, as if two enormous snakes had slithered past.

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Wisdom in the Face of Misfortune

The Narrator: [to the baboon after it took away the Coca cola bottle] The most inquisitive creature in Africa is the baboon. Xi said , "That is a very evil thing you've got. You better give it back so I can take it and throw it off the earth. It brought unhappiness to my family: "If you don't give it to me it'll bring grief to you and your family too". He spoke long and earnestly until the baboon began to pay attention. He must have convinced it, and it dropped the thing. And Xi said, "You have done a very wise thing".

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The Impact of a Single Object

The Narrator: One day, something fell from the sky. Xi had never seen anything like this in his life. It looked like water, but it was harder than anything else in the world. He wondered why the gods had sent this thing down to the earth. It was the strangest and most beautiful thing they had ever seen. They wondered why the gods had sent it to them. Pabo got his finger stuck in the thing and the children thought he was very funny. Xi tried the thing out to cure thongs. It had the right shape and weight. It was also beautifully smooth and ideal for curing snakeskin. And Pabo discovered you could make music on it. And every day they discovered a new use for the thing. It was harder and heavier and smoother than anything they'd ever known. It was the most useful thing the gods had ever given them. A real labour-saving device. But the gods had been careless. They had sent only one. Now, for the first time, here was a thing that could not be shared because there was only one of it. Suddenly, everybody needed it most of the time. A thing they had never needed before became a necessity. And unfamiliar emotions began to stir. A feeling of wanting to own, of not wanting to share. Other new things came. Anger, jealousy, hate and violence.

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Unusual Sky Phenomena Observed by the Narrator

The Narrator: Lately, strange new things sometimes appeared in the sky. Noisy birds that flew without flapping their wings.

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Time in the Kalahari is timeless.

The Narrator: But in the Kalahari, it's always Tuesday, or Thursday if you like. Or Sunday. No clocks or calendars tell you to do this or that.

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The Complexity of Civilized Life

The Narrator: Only 600 miles to the south, there's a vast city. And here you find civilized man. Civilized man refused to adapt himself to his environment. Instead he adapted his environment to suit him. So he built cities, roads, vehicles, machinery. And he put up power lines to run his labour-saving devices. But he some how didn't know when to stop. The more he improved his surroundings to make life easier the more complicated he made it. So now his children are sentenced to 10 to 15 years of school, just to learn how to survive in this complex and hazardous habitat they were born into. And civilized man, who refused to adapt to his surroundings now finds he has to adapt and re-adapt every hour of the day to his self-created environment. For instance, if the day is called Monday and the number 7:30 comes up, you have to dis-adapt from your domestic surroundings and re-adapt yourself to an entirely different environment. 8:00 (8-double-zero) means everybody has to look busy. 10:30 (ten-three-zero) says means you can stop looking busy for 15 minutes. And then, you have to look busy again. Your day is chopped into pieces. In each segment of time you adapt to new circumstances.

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Bushmen's Perspective on Hardness and Nature

The Narrator: In fact these Bushmen have never seen a stone or a rock in their lives. The hardest things they know are wood and bone. They live in a gentle world, where nothing is as hard as rock, or steel or concrete.

Bushmen's Unique Lack of Ownership

The Narrator: The one characteristic which really makes the Bushmen different from all other races is that they have no sense of ownership at all. Where they live, there's nothing you can own. Only trees and grass and animals.

Apology in the Pursuit of Survival

The Narrator: When the family needs meat the hunter dips his tiny arrow in a brew that acts as a tranquilliser. When he shoots a buck, it feels a sting and the arrow drops out. The buck runs away, but soon it gets very drowsy and it stops running. After a while, it goes to sleep. And the hunter apologizes to his prey. He explains that his family needs the meat.

Gentle Parenting and Well-Behaved Children

The Narrator: They're very gentle people. They'll never punish a child or even speak harshly to it. So, of course the kids are extremely well-behaved. And their games are cute and inventive.

The Unique Language of Click Sounds

The Narrator: Their language has an idiosyncrasy of its own. It seems to consist mainly of clicking sounds.

Isolation in the Kalahari Desert

The Narrator: They live in the vastness of the Kalahari in small family groups. One family of Bushmen might meet up with another family once in a few years. But for the most part, they live in complete isolation quite unaware there are other people in the world. In the deep Kalahari, there are Bushmen who have not seen or heard of civilized man. Sometimes they hear a thundering sound when there are no clouds in the sky. And they assume the gods have eaten too much and their tummies are rumbling up there. Sometimes they can even see the evidence of the gods flatulence.

Perspective on Nature and Its Creatures

The Narrator: In this world of theirs, nothing is bad or evil. Even a poisonous snake is not bad. You just have to keep away from the sharp end. Actually, a snake is very good. In fact, it's delicious. And the skin makes a fine pouch.

Wisdom of Simplicity in Nature's Abundance

The Narrator: And, of course they know what to do about water. For instance, in the early morning, you can collect dewdrops from leaves that were carefully laid out the previous evening. Or a plume of grass can be a reservoir. And if you have the know-how, an insignificant clump of twigs can tell you where to dig and you come to light with an enormous tuber. You scrape shavings off it with a stick that is split to give it a sharp edge. You take a handful of the shavings, point your thumb at your mouth and squeeze. They must be the most contented people in the world. They have no crime, no punishment, no violence, no laws, no police, judges, rulers or bosses. They believe that the gods put only good and useful things on the earth for them to use.

Life in the Kalahari Desert

The Narrator: Humans avoid the Kalahari like the plague because man must have water to live. So the beautiful landscapes are devoid of people. Except for the little people of the Kalahari. Pretty, dainty, small and graceful, the Bushmen. Where any other person would die of thirst in a few days they live quite contentedly in this desert that doesn't look like a desert. They know where to dig for roots and bulbs and tubers and which berries and pods are good to eat.

Illusions of Paradise in a Harsh Desert

The Narrator: [[w:Kalahari Desert|Kalahari] It looks like a paradise, but it is in fact the most treacherous desert in the world, the ]. After the short rainy season there are many water holes, and even rivers. But after a few weeks, the water sinks away into the deep Kalahari sand. The water holes dry, and the rivers stop flowing. The grass fades to a beautiful blond colour that offers excellent grazing for the animals. But for the next nine months, there will be no water to drink. So most of the animals move away, leaving the beautiful blond grass uneaten.