The Hangover Part II (2011) - Quotes

Celebrating the Joy of Partying

Taglines: We love to party!

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Reflections on a Wild Night Out

Taglines: We had a sick night!

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Secrets Remain Hidden in the Darkness

Taglines: No one here has to know.

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Inner Struggles and Personal Demons

Taglines: I have a demon in me.

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Wolfpack Loyalty Pact Statement

Taglines: We made a pact, Wolfpack only.

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Unexpected Arrival in Bangkok

Taglines: We're in Bangkok?!

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Bangkok Takes Center Stage in Chaos

Taglines: Bangkok has them now.

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Chow Reflects on His Criminal Lifestyle

Phil: Do you ever do anything that doesn't end in a stand-off, Chow?

Chow: I am an international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.

Stu: You have a wife?

Chow: Yeah. We married 15 years. What, Chow not good-looking enough for a woman?

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A Familiar Situation Repeats Itself

Tracy: Phil.

Phil: Tracy, I'm sorry.

Tracy: Where the hell are you?

Phil: [sighs] It happened again.

Tracy: Don't say that. Please.

Phil: No, this time we really fucked up.

Tracy: Seriously, what's wrong with you three?

Phil: So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin.

Tracy: Oh, God. How bad? Like, "no wedding" bad?

Phil: Yeah. Little worse than that.

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Unexpected Consequences of an Alternative Lifestyle

Stu: Oh my God! We kidnapped a monk!

Alan: We live an alternative lifestyle.

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Negotiating the Price for a Missing Child

Stu: We're looking for a little kid.

Samir: $2,000.

Stu: Huh?

Samir: Maybe more, I don't know. How young you want this kid to be?

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Password Frustrations in a Digital Age

Phil: Your password is baloney1?

Chow: Well, it used to be just baloney, but now they make you add numbers.

Kingsley: Really fuckin annoying.

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Dueling Perspectives on Dark Secrets

Stu: Woah! Here's the deal man, I got a dark side. There's a demon in me.

Alan: It's true, he has semen in him.

Stu: I said demon.

Alan: But you also have semen in you remember, from the...

Stu: It's not relevant, but thank you Alan.

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Unexpected Night of Fun and Confusion

Kimmy: This one was following me around like a little puppy dog all night, saying how he fall in love with me, and asked me to marry him.

Alan: Classic Stu.

Stu: We didn’t get married, did we?

Kimmy: Of course not. We just had some fun in the Chardonnay Room.

Phil: What, uh… What happens in the Chardonnay Room?

Stu: Let’s just stay on task here.

Kimmy: Oh, you know. Dance for him. He tickle me. We had sex. I massage his shoulders…

Stu: Fuck!

Phil: It’s okay. Hey, you're not married yet. It's no big deal.

Stu: It's cheating, okay? No offense to you, you're a lovely woman; it's a violation of my moral code.

Kimmy: Don’t be sad. Stu you love it. You were crying, saying how special it was.

Phil: Wait. I’m sorry, he was crying?

Alan: What a baby. He was crying.

Kimmy: You should have seen him. He was so sexy, the way he move ‘round. I had to ask him to slow down so I don’t drop my load too quick.

Stu: Load? What load?

Kimmy: Oh you know, my sperms.

Stu: Eh, I think your English is off. She’s talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?

Kimmy: From my balls.

Phil: Hold on. Back up.

Stu: Wait, wait. Are you…?

Kimmy: Hey, you’re in Bangkok sweetie. There’s a reason they don't call it Bang-cunt!

Unexpected Collapse Leads to Panic Among Friends

Chow: You ready for the craziest fucking story ever? (Collapses on the table)

Phil: Chow! (Pats him)

Alan: Mr. Chow, are you okay?

Phil: You gotta be kidding me! (Checks for Chow's pulse) Fuck, he's dead!

Stu: (Freaks out, starts screaming) Help!

Phil: Stu, shut up. Stu, shut up!

Stu: Call an ambulance!

Phil: Shut up, he's dead! Look, if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine, we're gonna spend the rest of our lives in a fucking Thai prison! Now shh! Alan, please stop crying!

Unexpected Reunion Leads to Party Invitation

Phil: Chow, what happened?

Chow: You guys texted me. Said you fucked up and looking to party.

Unexpected Location Revelation in Bangkok

Phil: Wait a second Chow. We're in Bangkok?

Chow: Holla! City of Squalor!

Friendship and Regret at a Bachelor Party

Phil: You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us!

Stu: Oh, this will be good!

Phil: [Old couple looks over and gives Phil dirty looks] Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa... two years later, you met your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a cunt! Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fuckin IHOP!