The Lorax (2012) - Quotes

Audrey: [to Ted] I could just kiss you right now!

Mrs. Wiggins: Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town.

Aloysius O'Hare: There he is! Hello, Ted.

Ted: [nervously] Uh...Hi.

Mrs. Wiggins: Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything.

Aloysius O'Hare: You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk.

Mrs. Wiggins: [leaves] Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie.

Aloysius O'Hare: [Ted angrily faces him] I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? Hand it over.

Ted: I'm sorry...I don't know what you're talking about.

Aloysius O'Hare: Really? Well, then...I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room.

Ted: No, no, no!

Aloysius O'Hare: Morty! McGurk! Find the seed!

Ted: No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room!

Aloysius O'Hare: [barges into Ted's room trying to find and destroy the Truffula seed] Find it! Find it!

Mrs. Wiggins: [appears] What is going on here?

Aloysius O'Hare: [to Bernice, after she comes up stairs and stares on in shock] THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU! Get back downstairs!

Mrs. Wiggins: [to O'Hare] Excuse me, down there! I don't care who you are, you little crazy baby-man! Get out of my house now. This is outrageous.

Aloysius O'Hare: [chuckles; takes a plate of cookies that Mrs. Wiggins is holding, then leaves] Fine. Sorry. Must have been a misunderstanding. We'll be leaving now. And my apologies, Ted. You be safe.

Mrs. Wiggins: [sputters] Mind telling me what's going on here?

Ted: The seed! Where is it?

Mrs. Wiggins: Seed?

Ted: [finds Grammy Norma's cane] Where's Grammy?

Ted: So, this is really all your fault. You destroyed everything.

The Once-ler: [ashamed] Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I've sat here, regretting everything I've done. Staring at that word, "unless," a-and wondering what it meant. But know I'm thinking... Well, maybe you're the reason why the Lorax left that word there.

Ted: [shocked] Me? Why would he leave that for me?

The Once-ler: [sticks his arm out the window and drops a single seed, which Ted catches] Because unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not. The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted.

Ted: Yeah, but... nobody cares about trees anymore!

The Once-ler: Then make them care! Plant the seed in the middle of town where everyone can see! Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not what it is. It's about what it can become. That's not just a seed... anymore than you're just a boy.

Ted: [drives back to Thneedville] I won't let you down!

The Once-ler: I know.

The Lorax: So how are things?

The Once-ler: What are you doing here?

The Lorax: Happy yet? You filled that hole deep down inside you, or do you still need more?

The Once-ler: Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote "powers" to stop me?

The Lorax: I told you, that's not how it works.

The Once-ler: Right, I forgot - you're a fraud! I need you to get out! Now!

The Lorax: Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be?

The Once-ler: [begins inching towards the Lorax, who backs away] You know what? You can just shut your moustache! My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal, I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds! And nothing is going to stop me!

The Lorax: Well, that's it. The very last one. That may stop you.

Grizelda: What a dump.

The Once-ler: Hey, Aunt Grizelda!

Brett: Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long!

The Once-ler: No, Brett, that’s actually not a… Okay.

Brett: Go long! Go long!

Chett: I got it! I got it! Got it!

Brett: He totally ran into that tree!

The Once-ler: Ow!

Isabella: Oncie, is that you?

The Once-ler: Mom!

Isabella: There he is! There’s my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right?

Uncle Ubb: Hey! I love this guy!

The Once-ler: But you always said I wouldn’t amount to anything, remember?

Isabella: Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you!

The Once-ler: I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you’re all here, you all work for me, and that’s cool. So, let’s get to work.

Isabella: Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you please stop throwing that bear?!

The Lorax: Time out. Back up. Stop. Don’t move an inch. Nobody’s moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye.

Grizelda: [referring to the Lorax] So, who invited the giant furry peanut?

The Lorax: You callin me a peanut, huh?! I'll go right up your nose!

Grizelda: [advances on him] Ha!

The Once-ler: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.

The Lorax: [gasps] That's a woman?

The Once-ler: Okay. Everyone, cool it. Let’s not get off on the wrong foot here. Um, family, this is my friend…

The Lorax: Acquaintance.

The Once-ler: Yeah, acquaintance. Very good acquaintance, the Lorax. He speaks for the trees.

The Lorax: That’s right. And on behalf of the trees, get out!

The Once-ler: Will you just be nice! This is my family. And I’m going to need their help if my company is going to get bigger. Okay?

The Lorax: Bigger?

The Once-ler: Yeah, this isn’t some rinky-dink operation anymore. I got plans. Big plans! A vision of a world filled with Thneeds. It’s going to be huge!

The Lorax: Which way does a tree fall?

The Once-ler: Uh, down?

The Lorax: A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean.

Teen Boy: Hey. Cool hat.

Teen Girl 1: Oh, my gosh. I totally want one.

Teen Girl 2: That thing makes me like you more.

The Once-ler: [stops upon noticing that the Bar-ba-loots, Humming Fish, and Swommee-Swans are also sleeping in his house] Ow! Okay, uh, what are you...? Question, what are they doing here? And, uh, follow up if I may, what are you doing here?!

The Lorax: [chuckles embarrassingly] Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it, but when we got here, you were asleep.

The Once-ler: [looks up to see a sleeping Bar-ba-loot drooling down on him] What? Eww! Exactly, and sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away.

The Lorax: I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done.

The Once-ler: [sees Humming Fish bathing in soap; sees Swommee-Swan laying an egg] No harm done", "no harm done"? Ugh, okay. Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. Ew. Did you just...in my bowl?!

The Lorax: [uses the Once-ler's toothbrush to comb his mustache] Why do you even own this? You don't have a mustache.

The Once-ler: [disgusted and angry] Ugh! Okay, that's it!

The Lorax: What? I thought we made a deal last night.

The Once-ler: Yes, we did. And I said I wouldn't chop down any more trees.

The Lorax: [looks into the fridge to find the big Bar-ba-loot eating entire cubes of butter; closes the fridge door] And I said I was going to keep an eye on you. I'm starving! What's for breakfast? Breakfast is overrated.

The Once-ler: [strains; quickly changes outfit] You know what? I got work to do. Yep! I got to go into town and sell my Thneed!

The Lorax: [when the Once-ler shows the Thneed to him; laughs] You chopped down one of my trees to make that piece of garbage?

The Once-ler: [Lorax isn’t Amused.] Garbage"? Oh, no. Oh, no! You do not get it. This is a revolutionary product that will change the world as we know it. It has a million uses! Look at this. It's a swimsuit! Mud tracked all over your floor by uninvited guests? Well, the Thneed sure comes in handy for that! But wait, there's more! Thanks to its all-natural microfibers, the Thneed is super-absorbent! It also works as a hat. Of course, you probably want to wring it out first.

The Lorax: Go ahead. Knock yourself out, but nobody is going to buy that thing.

The Once-ler: Good to know. Well, fortunately, you are not the target market, weirdo.

The Lorax: You're bringing a guitar?

The Once-ler: Oh, yeah. I got a little jingle. I'm gonna blow some minds, gonna sell some Thneeds! Yeah.

The Once-ler: [has just been revived by the Lorax; hugs the Lorax] I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! You saved my life!

The Lorax: Yeah, I did, but you know, it's not that big a deal.

The Once-ler: [realizes] It is a big deal! Look, I almost went over that waterfall! Wait...On my bed. How did my bed get in the river?

The Lorax: [mumbles; the Once-ler drops him in shock] Uh, about that, uh...actually, um... I put your bed in the water. I didn't mean you any harm. I just wanted to calmly float you away. Look, everyone here needs the trees and you're chopping them down! So, we've got a big problem.

The Once-ler: [Pipsqueak nuzzling at Once-Ler's feet, to the Lorax] Alright, look. I hereby swear that I will never chop down another tree. I promise.

The Lorax: Thank you, but I'm going to keep my eye on you.

The Once-ler: [stretches; walks away, then comes back] Good. Now, I've got a big day tomorrow, and I'm gonna get some sleep. Right after I find my bed.

The Once-ler: Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Break-dancing and wearing bell-bottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs?

Ted: [laughs] Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one, you know.

The Once-ler: [knowingly] Aaah, it's a girl, isn't it?

Ted: [scoffs] What? No!

The Once-ler: Really? Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy, but if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl.

Ted: [about Audrey] Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman...in high school...and she loves trees, and I'm gonna get her one.

The Once-ler: Aww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality.

Ted: [sincerely] Thank you.

The Lorax: [first meeting the Once-ler; the Once-ler shrieks and falls backwards] Hey! Did you chop down this tree?

Once-ler: [gasps; the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot, blaming him] Uh, no. Who did it? What's that?! I think he did it.

The Lorax: [growls] Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out!

The Once-ler: [pokes the Lorax] And who are you?

The Lorax: [the Once-ler stares at him] Hey, hey! I'm the Lorax, guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. So you're telling me that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump, with all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that?

The Once-ler: No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that?

The Lorax: Uh, yeah. I could show you, but that's not how it works.

The Once-ler: Okay, um...Didn't really happen. Oh, I know what you want! I've got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw. Yummy-yummy-yummy...

The Lorax: How dare you! Give me that! Mmm. I'm going to eat this, but I am highly offended by it.

The Once-ler: Whoa! What are you...Hey, Mustache! Will you stop that?! What's your deal, man?!

The Lorax: Time for you to go, Beanpole!

The Once-ler: Pull them right out. Just going to put them right back in. We can do this all day.

The Lorax: Whoa! Stop right there! Stop it! So you would hammer 1 of nature's innocent creatures?

The Once-ler: [[The Lego Movie|You, on the other hand, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!] What? No! I would never hit this little guy. ]

The Lorax: [turns to all of the watching animals] Behold! The intruder and his violent ways. Shame on you. For shame!

The Once-ler: [points at Lorax; [Shrek|End of story.] All right, you know what? That's it! You listen to me, you furry meatloaf. I'm going to chop down as many trees as I need. Okay? Newsflash! Not going anywhere! ]

The Lorax: Then you leave me no choice. If you're not gone by the time the sun sets on this valley, all the forces of nature will be unleashed upon you and curse you until the end of your days! You have been warned. Thanks.

The Once-ler: Yeah, okay.

The Lorax: You have been warned.

Ted: [interrupting the story] Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute.

Once-ler: Excuse me?

Ted: [chuckles] Yeah. That's awesome. You know, feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? Cause I'd love to hear that one.

Once-ler: [sarcastically] Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story and was never heard from ever again. Mm-hmm.

Ted: Right. Got it. Proceed.

Once-ler: Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here?!

Ted: I'm Ted. I'm Ted. Oh, I can't breathe. Are you the Once-ler? Oh, man.

Once-ler: Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here! Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out!

Ted: [gets kicked by said boot from behind; gets grabbed again] The boot? Whoa, hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. No, no, no!

Once-ler: Trees?

Ted: [pause] Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? Hello?

Once-ler: Sorry, it's just...Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees.

Ted: [gets put back down] Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. Hey, hey! What? Whoa!

The Once-ler: [softly] You wanna know about trees, about what happened to them, and why they're all gone? It's because of me.

Ted: Wait, what?

Once-ler: [shouts; Ted coughs] IT'S BECAUSE OF ME! And my invention, the Thneed. It was an amazing product that could do the job of a thousand.

Ted: All right. Sounds ridiculous, but I mean, that's cool.

Once-ler: [starting to explain what happened to the trees] You're darn right it was cool! It all started a long time ago.

Ted: Can we start not so long ago, maybe?

Once-ler: Do you want a tree?

Ted: Yes, yes.

Once-ler: [scene flashes back to the Once-ler as a young man] Then it all started a long, long time ago. I was a young man leaving home.

Ted: So, anyway, let's just say, I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do?

Grammy Norma: Oh, then you know what? You'd need to find the Once-ler.

Ted: The what?

Mrs. Wiggins: Mom, it's not really the time for one of your, you know, magical fables, OK?

Grammy Norma: [laughs] That's right, I forgot. I'm old, and can't even remember to put my teeth in!

Mrs. Wiggins: Stand down. That's not what I meant.

Grammy Norma: [showing her empty teeth] No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me?

Mrs. Wiggins: [sighs] Sure, Mom.

Grammy Norma: [puts on her retainer in secret] OK, here's the deal. The Once-ler's the man who knows what happened to the trees. If you want one, you need to find him.

Aloysius O'Hare: [last words during the "Let It Grow" song] Come on, who's with me, huh?

Aloysius O'Hare: Bring it on, Teddy! You don't have the guts!

Aloysius O'Hare: [the elevator shuts in his face and rises] Nobody beats Aloysius O'Hare! What the-?! "Damn it!

Aloysius O'Hare: [going after Ted and Audrey and Grammy Norma, who have the Truffula seed, through a megaphone] YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS, BOY! BANG!

Aloysius O'Hare: You've got a beautiful town here, lots of fun stuff to occupy your short attention span. I can't think of any reason, you'd ever wanna go outside of town... again. Ever.

The Once-ler: [destroying His window In The Middle Of The Sun, as he Sees the Citizens singing "Let it Grow" And Old Once ler Whited His Eyes Without Tears; Saying That Whisper Sound; Closes His Eyes Because The Sun Is Shining] Thank you, Ted.

The Once-ler: [To Ted; referring to the last Truffula seed] Plant the seed in the middle of town where everyone can see! Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not about what it is, it's about what it can become. That's not just a seed...any more than you're just a boy.

The Once-ler: [To Ted] Because Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better...It's not.

The Once-ler: [closing How Bad Can I Be; a Thneed is thrown on the Lorax as a picture is taken. A billboard featuring the picture reads "Lorax Approved"] All the customers are buying, and the money's multiplying, and the PR people are lying, and the lawyers are denying. Who cares if a few trees are dying? This is all so gratifying! How bad, how bad can this possibly be?!

The Once-ler: [notices the Lorax looking at him] Oh, yeah! We're in business, baby! Mom? Hey, it's me! I told you I was going to be a success! You need to bring the whole family here right now. We're going to be rich! What? I'm going to need all the help I can get. Don't worry.

The Once-ler: [admiring his first thneed] Now that's a thneed! Nothing unmanly about knitting. No sir!

The Once-ler: Little did I know that by chopping down that tree I had just summoned a mystical creature as old as time itself. The legendary, slightly annoying, guardian of the forest. The Lorax.

The Once-ler: [looks around, noticing all of the animals are gone; shrugs, then grabs the tree by the trunk and drags it away toward his cottage] Check it out, guys. Where did everybody go?

The Once-ler: [He puts on a pair of work gloves and grabs a large axe] Alright, here we go. About to make a Thneed, about to change the world.

Audrey: I want more than anything in the whole world is to see a real living tree, growing in my backyard.

Audrey: [Referring to her mural] Those are trees. Real ones. They used to grow all around here. And people said that the touch of their tufts was softer than anything, even silk. And they smelled like butterfly milk.

Ted Wiggins: [holds up the truffula seed] I am Ted Wiggins, and I speak for the trees. And the fact is, things aren't perfect here in Thneedville! And they're only gonna get worse unless we do something about it! Unless we change our ways, we can start by planting this!

Ted Wiggins: [referring to Audrey; to The Once-ler] Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman in high school, and she loves trees. And I'm gonna get her one.