Mystery of an Anonymous Love Letter
Taglines:
No one knows who sent it. No one knows who it's for. But everyone's getting the same message.
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Discussion on Condiments and Their Importance
Janet: [''surrounded by a group of women in the cafe hanging on her every word'']
...so that is my feelings on salt and pepper and sugar. Condiments: let's move onto that. Ketchup: obviously the most popular condiment. I don't think anybody's going to disagree with me on that one. First of all, always wipe the bottles down. Sticky: there's nothing grosser than that. I mean, I'm sure there's something grosser... but it's pretty gross to have it sticky when you're trying to have a...
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A Young Heart's First Love Experience
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Understanding Wants in the Human Condition
Johnny:
No one knows what they want, Jennifer. That's the human condition.
Jennifer:
Some people know what they want. I mean, they might not know how to get it but they know what they want.
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A Cautionary Reminder to Others
Janet: [''George is about to fumigate a beehive'']
*BE* careful! Get it?
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Irony of Love in a Small Town
Lillian:
It's one of the ironies of my otherwise straight forward life that I have fallen in love twice. Both times with people who insist on living in this godforsaken town.
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A Mother's Unexpected Revelation
Lillian:
So, there are you darling, Mommy's a dyke.
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Books for Navigating Divorce and Loneliness
Janet:
Okay. Well, here are your books. Uh, the Complete Idiots Guide to Surviving Divorce, The Divorce Workbook, and of course, how come nobody loves me?
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Misunderstanding in a Lighthearted Moment
Janet:
Daddy's going to play with his fire hose. That's didn't sound right.
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The Irony of Civilization's Cocktail Hour
Miss Scattergoods:
A thinning gene pool is a terrible thing to witness. Ah, civilization's crowing achievement: the cocktail hour.
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The Benefits of Rest Over Exercise
Miss Scattergoods:
I do think, dear, that, whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lie down until it passes over.
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