Questioning Authority in Perspective
Guy: [''Lawrence Harvey performs a strip tease while playing Hamlet'']
This chap's taking license in my view?
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Routine or Harassment: A Delicate Balance
Guy: [''a police car drives up to Grand's car'']
Could be routine, or... mere damnable harassment.
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Instructions for Deck Evacuation on the Magic Christian
Announcer on Magic Christian: [''as the 'Magic Christian' starts to sink'']
Go to B-Deck immediately! I repeat: Go to C-Deck immediately!
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A Surprising Offer of Thirty Thousand Pounds
Guy: [''on being told a Rembrandt might fetch $10,000 at auction'']
In that case, my final offer is 30.
Mr. Dougdale: [''stunned'']
Thirty - thousand - pounds? Shit! I beg your pardon, I do beg your pardon.
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Uncertainty During a Ship's Concert
Esther: [''as all hell breaks loose, aboard the Magic Christian'']
Youngman, what IS going on?
Youngman: [''innocently'']
Ship's concert, I shouldn't wonder.
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Seeking Relief Through Medication and Discontent
Herbert: [''pleads with Laurence, the ship's doctor'']
If you could please just give me some tranquilizers...
Laurence:
Escape into drugs? Mask your fears in an artificial fog? Oh, surely you can't be serious.
Herbert:
Oh, well... give me some decent English aspirin!
Laurence: [''pulls out a lit marijuana joint'']
Here, Sir Herb. Try this. It's just what the doctor ordered.
Herbert:
What is it?
Laurence: [''Herbert inhales, then chokes'']
It's cannabis, Sir Herb.
Laurence:
It'll tighten your wig.
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Generational Perspectives on Changing Times
John: [''Oxford has just purposely rammed Cambridge, at the annual Boat Race'']
It would never have happened in my day!
Guy:
Nor mine!
Youngman:
Well, it's happening in mine!
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Discussion About Rembrandt and School Preferences
Guy: [''as he and Youngman admire a painting'']
I like school of Rembrandt.
Youngman:
St. Rembrandt's High.
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A Game of Money and Opportunity
Traffic warden #27:
What's your game, Mister?
Guy: [''riffling a wad of bills under the warden's nose, to persuade him to eat a parking ticket'']
Grand is the name, and, uh - money is the game. Would you care to play?
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Exploring the Nature of Words and Corruption
Youngman:
Dad, do you think words corrupt?
Guy:
I don't know, let's try. Agnes?
Agnes: [''looks up from the television'']
Yes?
Guy:
Nipple.
Agnes: [''turns back to the television'']
Shh!
Guy: [''watches her for a moment'']
Well, there's no immediate physical change.
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The Importance of Teaching and Punishment
Youngman:
You're certainly putting everybody on today, Dad.
Guy:
Well, you know, Youngman. Sometimes it's not enough merely to teach. One has to punish as well. A little bit of the old pause.
Youngman:
Cause for pause?
Guy:
Yes.
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Imagining Atrocities and Strange Behavior
Ginger: [[Nazism|Nazi; ''turns to Youngman, dog in her lap, and browses the book'']
Ah! My Second World War ] atrocity book came at last.
Ginger:
Do you know what Bitsy and I do? We sit down and imagine all those atrocities being done to sex criminals. - Yes, sex criminals and the like. And that Dr. Thorndike!
Guy: [''overhearing'']
What's that, Ginge? Bill Thorndike a sexy criminal?
Ginger:
The man you sent me to. He behaved VERY strangely.
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Existence and Choice in Dialogue
Hamlet: [''Laurence Harvey, onstage'']
To be...
Youngman: [''loud enough to be heard, turning to Sir Guy'']
I've seen it.
Hamlet:
Or not to be... that is the question.
Youngman: [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]
], right?
Guy: [''whispers, eyes toward the stage'']
Right, and double right.
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The Nature and Influence of Money
Guy: [''voiceover, as a $10 note appears onscreen'']
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations — like people. We'll be using quite a bit of it in the next two hours... luckily, I have enough for ALL of us.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
