26 quotes
The Promise of a Future
Jenny
If we get killed we won't have any future.
Paul
Of course we will. You always have a future.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Ingredients in Shampoo
Scientist
Water, citric acid, sodium laureth sulfate, hydrolyzed animal protein, glycerin, USFDA coloring #5.
[reading a lab report on the plutonium sample that Paul has replaced]
Dr. Matthewson
What the hell is it?
Scientist
It's shampoo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Disassembling a Beautiful Creation
Dr. Matthewson
It's very pretty.
[about the device]
Paul
Thanks.
Dr. Matthewson
Now what do you say we take it apart before everyone goes crazy?
Paul
No, I'm sorry. I can't do that right now.
Dr. Matthewson
This isn't accomplishing anything.
Paul
Sure it is.
Dr. Matthewson
What?
Paul
Deterrence.
Dr. Matthewson
Deterrence?
Paul
Yeah. You know, when each side thinks that they're going to blow everybody up. It's called ].
[[w:Mutually assured destruction|mutually assured destruction]
Dr. Matthewson
Yeah, I know what it's called.
Paul
Well, it's working, isn't it?
Dr. Matthewson
How do you mean?
Paul
I'm still alive, aren't I?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Time Is Running Out in the Project
Taglines
The switch is set... The clock has started... Time's running out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Searching for a Quiet Sublet Abroad
Elizabeth
And you're interested in a one bedroom sublet, furnished? Any special requirements?
Dr. Matthewson
It should be quiet and in an English-speaking country.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Negotiating with an Armed Child
Lt. Col. Conroy
OK, here's the deal. We have an irrational child down there with an armed device. He seems to trust you, so you get down there.
Dr. Matthewson
And do what?
Lt. Col. Conroy
Disarm him. Get him to take it apart.
Dr. Matthewson
And if he won't?
Lt. Col. Conroy
Well, then just separate him from it and we'll do the rest.
Dr. Matthewson
I can't do that.
Lt. Col. Conroy
And why not?
Dr. Matthewson
Because I'm not a-
Lt. Col. Conroy
What, a killer? Is that the word you're groping for, Doctor? And just what the bloody hell do you think you've been working on all these years? What do you think all this is for? Your own personal amusement? To stimulate you intellectually? You are what you are, Doctor - a son of a bitch, like the rest of us. Now for God's sake, take some responsibility and do what needs to be done.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Proposal for a Wager
Dr. Matthewson
Anybody want to make a bet?
[as they are about to disarm the bomb]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Defiance in Authority
Dr. Matthewson
You try to tough it out with them, they'll lock you in a room and throw away the room.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Task in a Serious Situation
Paul Stevens
I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but I gotta go get the atomic bomb from out of the car.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ignoring the Present for a Better Future
Jenny
This isn't funny. Do you know what this is like? It's like when you read about, I don't know, ] or something and you say to yourself, Jesus why didn't they do something. The whole world is collapsing. They just sat around, life as usual, maybe it'll go away, but it never goes away it only gets worse and nobody thinks about the future. What's the matter?
[[Anne Frank]
Paul
Who's Anne Frank?
Jenny
Um, a girl in my English class.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Negligence in Critical Situations
Lt. Colonel Conroy
You mean I'm gonna die because some asshole didn't bring a pair of pliers?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life Beyond Freezing Toads
Jenny
Why are you doing this?
Moore
Because life, my dear, is more than just freezing toads.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Allure of Pure Plutonium
Dr. Matthewson
It's the purest plutonium in the universe. Pretty, isn't it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perfection is an unrealistic expectation
Dr. Matthewson
This is terrible, I feel like a perfect ass.
Elizabeth
Nobody's perfect.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Declaration of Love and Commitment
Paul Stevens
Jenny. I love you, Jenny. I wanna be your wife.
[after being drugged]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innovative Ideas in Unusual Science Projects
Eccles
I invented a way of using insects as a dietary supplement for humans. Beetles, ants, mosquitoes. You grind them up -- low cholesterol.
Jeffery
Shut up, Eccles. That's disgusting. My project is quite fascinating. I took six common toads and froze them in liquid nitrogen for six months.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Innocent Question About Hamsters Raises Concern
Student
What's the problem? Was he sexually abusing the hamsters or something?
[about Paul]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Access to a Powerful Laser
Dr. Matthewson
I just happen to have access to one of the sexiest lasers in the entire free world.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Surprising Revelation About a Box
Paul Stevens
Hey, Mister, I betcha can't guess what I've got in this box. An atomic bomb.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Evacuation Concerns in The Manhattan Project
Official
Sir, what about evacuation?
Lt. Col. Conroy
Evacuation? Of who?
Official
The people.
Lt. Col. Conroy
Oh, you mean New York, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Canada... those people?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Small Atomic Bomb Construction Inquiry
Elizabeth
Paul, did you build an atomic bomb?
Paul
Only a little one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Publication in Science
Scientist #1
He'd get the Nobel if he could publish.
[about Matthewson]
Scientist #2
Publish?
Scientist #1
I said "if".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
High School Science Project Goes Awry
Taglines
Paul Stevens high school science project has gotten a little out of hand. He just built an atomic bomb. Now he's got 11 hours to make sure it doesn't work.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rare Clover Highlights Unlikely Natural Mutation
Jenny
A five-leaf clover. Where did you find it?
Paul
Growing outside that lab. You know the odds of that kind of mutation happening naturally, without chemicals or radiation or something?
Jenny
What?
Paul
There are none. I looked it up, it's like a billion to one. It never happens.
Jenny
Maybe you're just very lucky.
Jenny
Oh my God.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Advances in Romantic Interaction
Dr. Matthewson
What do you think you're doing?
Paul
Well I thought we'd start out with kissing, and then we might move onto the fancy stuff.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Need for Secrecy in Research
Dr. Matthewson
Oh, what did you want us to do? Put up a neon sign that says Secret Weapons Laboratory'?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.