27 quotes
A Muppet's Perspective on Christmas
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem#Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lighting the Lamp, Not the Rat
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
Night was falling, and the lamplighters were plying their trade. And by the way I don't think I never see Scrooge act like-
[narrating as "Mr. Dickens"; accidentally lights Rizzo's tail]
Rizzo the Rat
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, light the lamp, not the rat, LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!! PUT ME OUT!!!!!
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
Oh! My apologies! Um... Rizzo!
[suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post]
Rizzo the Rat
WHAT?!???
Rizzo the Rat
Th-th-thank you.
[surfaces from the frozen water, shivering greatly]
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
You're welcome.
[Rizzo sinks back into the water, still shivering]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of Bookkeepers in Cold December
Scrooge
One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money lenders.
Bob Cratchet
If you please, Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder. And the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovel-full of coal for the fire.
Bookkeeper 1
We can't do the bookkeeping.
Bookkeeper 2
All of our pens have turned to ink-cicles!
Bookkeeper 3
Our assets are frozen!
Scrooge
And how would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?!?!?!
Bookkeepers
HEAT WAVE! This the island in the sun...
[''Singing'']
Bob Cratchet
Um, I believe you've convinced them once again, Mr. Scrooge.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Reflection on Christmas Spirit
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem#Zoot|Zoot]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Reflection on the Holiday Spirit
Performers
* ] as Herself
[[w:Bettina Cratchit|Bettina Cratchit]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introducing the Muppet Christmas Carol Story
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.
Rizzo the Rat
And I am here for the food.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Heartwarming Reflection on Family and Love
Performers
* ] as Emily Cratchit
[[w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Change and Memory
Ghost of Christmas Past
Let us see another Christmas in this place.
Ebenezer Scrooge
They were all very much the same. Nothing ever changed.
Ghost of Christmas Past
You changed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lessons from the Schoolmaster in Winter
Performers
* ] as the Schoolmaster
[[w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Christmas Spirit and Generosity
Performers
* ] as Herself
[[w:Ma Bear|Ma Bear]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Perspective on Christmas Spirit
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Rizzo the Rat|Rizzo the Rat]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Perspective on Christmas
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Bean Bunny|Bean Bunny]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fozziwig's Joyful Celebration of Christmas Spirit
Performers
* ] as Fozziwig
[[w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflecting on the spirit of Christmas
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Beaker (Muppet)|Beaker]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scrooge's Reluctance to Acknowledge Christmas
Bob Cratchet
Excuse me, Mr. Scrooge, but it appears to be closing time.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Very well. I'll see you at 8 tomorrow morning.
Bob Cratchet
Um, tomorrow's Christmas.
Ebenezer Scrooge
8:30, then.
Bob Cratchet
If you please, sir, half an hour off hardly seems customary for Christmas Day.
Ebenezer Scrooge
And how much time is customary, Mr. Cratchet?
Bob Cratchet
Well, the, uh, whole day.
Ebenezer Scrooge
The entire day?
Bookkeepers
Oh, no! No! It was the frog's idea!
[all talking at once]
Bob Cratchet
If you please, Mr. Scrooge, why open the business tomorrow? Other businesses will be closed; you'll have no one to do business with. It'll waste a lot of expensive coal for the fire.
Ebenezer Scrooge
It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only one around who knows that... take the day off.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Fear in a Storytelling Adventure
Rizzo the Rat
Oh, this is too scary. I don't think I want to see any more!
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
When you're right, you're right. You're on your own, folks. We'll meet you at the finale.
[To the audience]
Rizzo the Rat
Yeah!
[Both quickly leave]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism and Puns in Ghostly Encounter
Jacob Marley
Why do you doubt your senses?
Ebenezer Scrooge
Because a little thing can affect them. A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat. You may be a bit of undigested beef, a blob of mustard, a crumb of cheese. Yes, there's more gravy than of grave about you!
Robert Marley
More of gravy than of grave"?
Jacob Marley
What a terrible pun! Where do you get those jokes?
Robert Marley
Leave the comedy to the bears, Ebenezer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Reflection on Christmas Spirit
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflection on Life's Purpose and Meaning
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Animal (Muppet)|Animal]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Scrooge's Plea for Redemption and Change
Ebenezer Scrooge
Must we return to this place? There is something else I must know, is that not true? Spirit, I know what I must ask. I fear to, but I must. Who was the wretched man whose death brought so much glee and happiness to others?
Ebenezer Scrooge
Answer me one more question: Are these the shadows of things that will be, or are they the shadows of things that may be only?
Ebenezer Scrooge
These events can be changed... A life can be made right.
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ebenezer Scrooge"?! Oh, please, Spirit, no! Hear me! I–I'm not the man I was! Why would you show me this if I was past all hope? I–I will honor Christmas and try to keep it all the year. I will live my life in the past, the present, and the future. I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me. Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone. Oh, Spirit...Please speak to me!
[gasps and breaks down; Goes back to the Ghost, crying; Gestures to his gravestone; Falls to his knees, grasping the Ghost's robe desperately]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tiny Tim's Hopeful Reflection on Life
Performers
* ] as Tiny Tim Cratchit
[[w:Robin (Muppet)|Robin the Frog]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Commentary on Scary Stories for Kids
Rizzo the Rat
Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
Nah, it's all right. This is culture!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Remembering Marley’s Fate
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead and decaying in their graves.
Rizzo the Rat
Yuck!
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.
[In a hushed voice]
Rizzo the Rat
Why are you whispering?
Gonzo/"Charles Dickens
It's for dramatic emphasis.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Reflection on Christmas Spirit
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem#Lips|Lips]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Reflection on Life and Love
Performers
* Voice of ]
[[w:Ghost of Christmas Present|Ghost of Christmas Present]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fozziwig's Christmas Speech and Marley's Distraction
Fozziwig
At this time in the proceedings, it is a tradition for me to make a little speech.
Jacob Marley
And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!
Fozziwig
Oh, pay no attention to them. My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.
Jacob Marley
That was the speech?
Robert Marley
It was dumb!
Jacob Marley
It was obvious!
Robert Marley
It was pointless!
Jacob Marley
It was... short!
Jacob and Robert Marley
I loved it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Muppet's Perspective on Life
Performers
* ] as Himself
[[w:Lew Zealand|Lew Zealand]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.