The Muppets (2011) - Quotes

Muppet performers: [[w:Rashida Jones|Rashida Jones] ] as Dolores the Trumpet Girl

Muppet performers: Nathan Danforth as Mutation #1

Muppet performers: [[w:Bruce Lanoil|Bruce Lanoil; [w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot] ] as ] Hobo #3

Muppet performers: [[w:Alice Dinnean|Alice Dinnean] ] as Wanda and Afghan Hound

Muppet performers: [[w:Tyler Bunch|Tyler Bunch; [w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot; [w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot] ] as Thog, J.G. Frackle, Foozie, ] Hobo #2 and ] Reporter #2

Muppet performers: [[w:Peter Linz|Peter Linz; [w:Walter (Muppet)|Walter] ] as ], Droop, Snowth #2 and Mutation #2

Muppet performers: [[w:Matt Vogel (puppeteer)|Matt Vogel; [w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Floyd Pepper|Floyd Pepper; [w:Camilla the Chicken|Camilla the Chicken; [w:Sweetums|Sweetums; [w:'80s Robot|'80s Robot; [w:Lew Zeland|Lew Zealand; [w:Uncle Deadly (Muppet)|Uncle Deadly; [w:Crazy Harry|Crazy Harry] ] as ], ], ], ], ], ], ], Dr. Julius Strangepork, Snowth #1, Janooce and Roowlf

Muppet performers: [[w:David Rudman|David Rudman; [w:Scooter (Muppet)|Scooter; [w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Janice|Janice] ] as ], ], Miss Poogy, Wayne and Bobby Benson

Muppet performers: [[w:Bill Barretta|Bill Barretta; [w:Swedish Chef|The Swedish Chef; [w:Rowlf the Dog|Rowlf the Dog; [w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Dr. Teeth|Dr. Teeth; [w:Pepe the King Prawn|Pepe the King Prawn; [w:Bobo the Bear|Bobo the Bear; [w:Beautiful Day Monster|Beautiful Day Monster; [w:Mah Nà Mah Nà|Mahna Mahna; [w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot; [w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot] ] as ], ], ], ], ], ], Big Mean Carl, ], Behemoth, Muppet Gary, ] Hobo #1 and ] Farmer (deleted scenes only)

Muppet performers: [[w:Dave Goelz|Dave Goelz; [w:Gonzo (Muppet)|Gonzo the Great; [w:Bunsen Honeydew|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew; [w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Zoot|Zoot; [w:Beauregard (Muppet)|Beauregard; [w:Statler and Waldorf|Waldorf; [w:Whatnot (Muppet)|Whatnot] ] as ], ], ], ], ], Kermoot and ] Reporter #1

Muppet performers: [[w:Eric Jacobson|Eric Jacobson; [w:Miss Piggy|Miss Piggy; [w:Fozzie Bear|Fozzie Bear; [w:Dr. Teeth and the Elctric Mayhem#Animal|Animal; [w:Sam the Eagle|Sam the Eagle; [w:Marvin Suggs|Marvin Suggs] ] as ], ], ], ] and ]

Muppet performers: [[w:Steve Whitmire|Steve Whitmire; [w:Kermit the Frog|Kermit the Frog; [w:Beaker (Muppet)|Beaker; [w:Statler and Waldorf|Statler; [w:Rizzo the Rat|Rizzo the Rat; [w:Link Hogthrob|Link Hogthrob; [w:The Muppet Newsman|The Muppet Newsman; [w:Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem#Lips|Lips] ] as ], ], ], ], ], ] and ]

Jade Green Frackle: [The couple stop kissing and turn to look at the small group of Muppets staring at them] Ahem.

Wayne: [He and Wanda start doing vocal warmups to cover up their act] Oh! La la la la la la la...

Wanda: Mee mee mee mee mee...

Gary: Look, Walter, you're my brother, and I'm always gonna love you, but you belong here, with these guys. You're the one who brought everyone here together. You always believe in other people, but that’s easy. Sooner or later, you gotta believe in yourself, too, because that’s what growing up is. It’s becoming who you want to be. You have to try. Please, Walter. You’re my hero.

Tex Richman: [Angrily; The Muppets Gasp] You artists formerly known as the Muppets are standing on private property--My private property! And I'm telling you to leave, NOW GO! ALL OF YOU!

Kermit: [Sadly; As The Muppets Slowly Walk Away, Tex Richman Sighs In Disbelief] He's right, everybody. He won. We gotta go.

Tex Richman: [Uncle Deadly grabs the boltcutters to stop Tex] To the end of the Muppets! Deadly! What are you doing?!

Uncle Deadly: Enough! Just because I have a terrifying name, and an evil English accent, does not preclude the fact that in my heart, I am a Muppet, not a Moopet! Looks like it's I who will have the last laugh!

Tex Richman: What does that mean?!

Uncle Deadly: [Tex falls off the roof and lands on the ground with a thud; he laughs maniacally] It's an idiom, you idiot! Because you cannot laugh! Ha ha! Oopsie!

Tex Richman: Deadly...

Uncle Deadly: Now that's a maniacal laugh for you!

Kermit the Frog: Welcome back, everyone. Well, I know the old place is not quite at its best right now.

Floyd Pepper: [laughs] Yeah! Who cancelled the maid service?

Kermit the Frog: But don't worry. We'll be fine.

Sam the Eagle: [the other Muppets pull him offscreen with a hooked cane, Vaudeville style] Welcome to this week's edition of "Everything Stinks"!

Animal: In control.

Jack Black: Good. I'm Animal's court-appointed sponsor. We don't use the D-R-U-M word. It's his trigger word.

Kermit the Frog: His "trigger word"?

Gary: [Jack Black punches Gary] Excuse me, Mr. Black. I'm so sorry to interrupt, but it's very important that these guys get their drummer--

Walter: Gary!

Jack Black: It's my trigger word, too.

Moderator: Jack, we talked about this on Tuesday.

Jack Black: [punches a classmate] Tuesday's another one of my TRIGGER WORDS!

Moderator: [punches Jack Black] I DON'T THINK SO! Sorry.

Kermit the Frog: I just thought maybe we could raise the money to buy the theater back if we all got together and put on one last show.

Fozzie Bear: A show? But I've spent years building a solo career! I have a whole new show-biz family that loves me--

Miss Poogy: [opens the door; slams the door] Fozzie! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, HIBERNATIN'?! NEXT SHOW STARTS IN 30 SECONDS! We hired you, and WE CAN FIRE YOU, SO GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW!

Fozzie Bear: [to Kermit] They terrify me. Let's go.

Gary: Sorry. I was super excited.