10 quotes
Introduction to The Paper Brigade
Crazy Man Cooper
What outfit you with, young man?
Gunther
The Paper Brigade".
[thinks for a moment]
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Unexpected Encounter with Gunther
Luke
I think I just stepped in some Gunther!
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Unwanted Trivia and Morning Struggles
Charlie
Morning, Gunther. Ready?
Gunther
The only thing I’m ready for is another four hours of sleep.
[groggily]
Fish
Did you know there are people with this extremely rare condition called chronic cholecystitis. They don’t sleep for up to five years.
Gunther
Thank you, for that useless piece of trivia.
[irritated]
Fish
No problem whatsoever.
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Father and Son Share a Moment
Gunther
Hey, dad.
Mr. Wheeler
Hi.
Gunther
You got a minute?
Mr. Wheeler
Sure. What’s on your mind, son?
Gunther
I was just gonna tell you that…you and mom were right. This place really isn’t so bad.
Mr. Wheeler
Glad you’re starting to adjust.
Gunther
Yeah. You won’t hear me complaining about the move anymore.
Mr. Wheeler
Happy to hear that, Gunther.
Gunther
And um, I’m really gonna try harder to get my chores done, too.
Mr. Wheeler
You have been neglecting the pool.
Gunther
From now on, I’m gonna be 100 percent on top of it. I mean, I’ll go out there with a toothbrush and scrub the algae off the sides if I have to.
Mr. Wheeler
What is it you want, Gunther?
Gunther
I was hoping you would find it in your heart to give me...an advance on my allowance.
Mr. Wheeler
How much money are we talking about?
Gunther
Give or take...about 150 bucks?
Mr. Wheeler
The reason I push you so hard isn’t because I want to make your life miserable. I just want you to develop a sense of responsibility.
Gunther
You don’t know how much that means to me. You not giving up on me.
Mr. Wheeler
Yeah. We’ve been down this road before, haven’t we, Gunther? Out in the real world you wouldn’t get a dime. But, you are my son, and I do love you.
Gunther
I love you too, dad.
Mr. Wheeler
I’m probably sending a mixed message, but I’m gonna roll with you on this. I’ll give you the money.
Gunther
Dad, you’re the greatest!
Gunther
Will that be cash or check?
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Henry's Insult to His Adversaries
Henry
And you're nothing but a bunch of good for nothin', SPAM for brains, two time losing, low rent hoods!
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Casual Introduction Between Colleagues
Gunther
Hi.
[clears his throat]
Allison
Hi.
Gunther
So, uh, you work here.
Allison
Yeah.
Gunther
I'm Gunther...Wheeler. We just moved…
Allison
–into the Johnson house. You're from New York, right?
[interrupting him]
Gunther
Wow, this town is pretty small.
Allison
Smaller then you think.
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Importance of Timeliness in Community Service
Charlie
Gus, you’re late again.
Gus
Sorry.
Charlie
Gus, we offer a vital service to this community. The paper is their main source of news and other information. From the weather to today’s headlines, even the astrological forecast, it’s up to us to deliver. And on time.
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A Quick Decision to Mingle at the Mall
Mr. Wheeler
Where you off to in such a hurry?
Gunther
You wanted me to interact. I'm gonna go mingle with some natives, check out the new mall. Andrew, you wanna come?
Andrew
Yeah, sure! Do I have time to put my things away?
Gunther
Sure.
Mrs. Wheeler
Gunther, that was really nice of you.
Gunther
Hey, what are big brothers for? Besides, he still has his allowance. I'm broke.
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Concern Over Missing Home Tonight
Gus
Sorry.
Fish
That's what I'm gonna tell your parents when you don't come home tonight!
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Frustration Over Unexpected Vending Machine Outcome
Chad
Empty? I just put two bucks in this thing!
[tries to start his car but sees he has no gas left]
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