13 quotes
Dreyfus Compares Clouseau to a Water Pistol
Inspector Dreyfus
Compared to Clouseau, this ] is a water pistol!
[[w:Doomsday device|doomsday machine]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inspector Clouseau on Future Encounters and Resolutions
Inspector Clouseau
Until we meet again and the case is solv-ed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of Success and Failure
Inspector Clouseau
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy; that is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inspector Clouseau Greets the Commissioner
Inspector Clouseau
Good evening, commissioner. How are you, how is madame and all the little commissioners?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Newest Pink Panther Emerges
Taglines
The newest, pinkest Panther of all!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Curiosity About a New Movie Release
Taglines
Who is this man? And what is he doing? Who cares? But don't miss my new movie...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Over Hotel Terminology
Inspector Clouseau
Do you have a rheum?
Munich Hotel Clerk
I do not know what a "rheum" is.
Inspector Clouseau
Zimmer.
[''Checks his translation book'']
Munich Hotel Clerk
Ah, a room!
Inspector Clouseau
That is what I have been saying, you idiot. A rheum;–– Zimmer. Does your dog bite?
[gesturing to the hotel's dog]
Munich Hotel Clerk
No.
Inspector Clouseau
I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Munich Hotel Clerk
That is not my dog.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Crime and Consequences in Clouseau's Investigation
Inspector Clouseau
A beekeeper who has lost his voice, a cook who thinks he's a gardener, and a witness to a murder. Oh, yes. It is obvious to my trained eye that there is much more going on here than meets the ear. Before you are dismissed, Mr. Stifsticker, I suggest you count your bees. You may find that one of them is missing.
[''A bee buzzes around Clouseau. He swings at it with the hand that is stuck in a steel gauntlet, which is gripping a mace. The mace smashes the piano next to him.'']
Housekeeper
You've ruined that piano!
Inspector Clouseau
What is the price of one piano compared to the terrible crime that's been committed here?
Housekeeper
But that's a priceless ]!
[[w:Steinway & Sons|Steinway]
Inspector Clouseau
Not anymore. What is your name?
Housekeeper
Mrs. Leverlilly.
Inspector Clouseau
Mrs. Loveleaver, I would take a shrewd guess that you are the housekeeper. Am I right?
Housekeeper
I have been with Professor Fassbender for thirty years.
Inspector Clouseau
That would account for your exaggerated hysteria over a simple blemish to the furniture.
Housekeeper
Blemish?!
Inspector Clouseau
Whatever has happened to the piano can easily be righted. What has happened to Professor Fassbender and his daughter is another matter. And it is my job to bring the guilty party or parties to the justice. Now, then, what do we know? One, that Professor Fassbender and his daughter have been kidnap-ed. Two, that someone has kidnap-ed them. Three, that my hand is on fire.
[''Moves to stand with his back to the fireplace; the mace hangs close to the flames.'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Day of Delusion and Determination
Inspector Clouseau
One moment, and I will have you extracted.
Inspector Dreyfus
I'm fine. I am perfect. Every day, and in every way... I'm getting better and better. Somewhere over the rainbow... (laughs maniacally)
Inspector Clouseau
I'm afraid today is just not your day, my friend.
Inspector Dreyfus
But it is my day! It is, "my friend". After three long terrible years it is AT LAST my day! I will not permit, repeat, not permit anything...repeat anything to spoil it. Now, I will walk you to the gate, and then I will kiss you goodbye! (kisses Clouseau's cheeks) And you will drive off in your new car which should rightfully be mine, and then I will have my interview with the sanity commission, and they will set me free! And then... (suction arrow sticks to his forehead, with appropriate sound) I will kill you! (takes a strangler hold) Kill you!
Inspector Clouseau
Francois! Start the car!
Inspector Dreyfus
KILL YOU! KILL YOU!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inspector Clouseau's Appreciation for Clever Tactics
Inspector Clouseau
Most ingenious. The old closet ploy. I really must congratulate you; if there's one thing I enjoy, it's a good closet ploy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Challenges with Determination
Inspector Clouseau
For me, the greater the odds, the greater the ]. And, as always, I accept the shal-ahnje.
[[wikt:challenge|shal-ahnje]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bumbling Detective's New Adventures Await
Taglines
The all-new adventures of the world's most bumbling detective
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inspector Clouseau's Unlikely Pursuit by Assassins
Taglines
Why are the world's chief assassins after Inspector Clouseau? Why not? Everybody else is.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.