The Ritz (1976) - Quotes

A Customer Requests Crisco at The Ritz

Customer: Crisco.

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Self-Discovery in Unexpected Conversations

Proclo: I know what you are now! You're a chubby chaser!

Claude: I know!

Proclo: Stop it!

Claude: How?

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Humorous Warning About Unsanitary Environments

Proclo: You could catch athlete's foot in a place like this!

Tiger: You're lucky if that's all you catch.

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Observations on Unusual Cowboy Chaps

Proclo: My, what unusual pants. They look like cowboy chaps.

Man: [''in a gruff voice''] They are cowboy chaps.

Proclo: Yeah, I was just thinking they look like cowboy chaps.

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Unexpected Dinner Announcement

Claude: You'll never guess what I made for dinner tonight so I'm just going to have to tell you.

Proclo: I beg your pardon?

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Room Rental Duration Discussion

Abe: How long?

Brick: Is what?

Abe: How long do you want the room for?

Brick: Three or four hours should be sufficient for my purposes.

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Perceptions of Normalcy and Queerness

Abe: People like you think the whole world is queer.

Chris: It's lucky for people like you it is!

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Abe's Son Is Getting Married

Chris: Abe, how is that gorgeous son of yours?

Abe: You're too late, he's getting married.

Chris: That's terrific! You give him my love, will you?

Abe: Sure thing.

Chris: Does he need someone to practice with?

Abe: He's been practicing already, that's why he has to get married.

Chris: Well compared to me, Abe, she would have to be an amateur.

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Abenomics of Kindness in The Ritz

Proclo: You're a good man, uh...?

Abe: Abe.

Proclo: Abe. Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?

Abe: Leftkowitz.

Proclo: I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back.

Chris: You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous.

Abe: So what happened?

Chris: Well look at me!

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Measuring Anger on a Scale of Ten

Proclo: How pissed off is he?

Chris: On a ten-scale? Ten.

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Returning to Unwanted Familiarity

Abe: I thought you sworn off this place.

Claude: I thought I had too.

Abe: You got homesick for us, right?

Claude: Well I didn't have much choice, I've been barred from the Appenium.

Abe: Come on, nobody gets barred from the Appenium. How'd you manage that?

Claude: Well, there was this man there.

Abe: A fat man, right?

Claude: Fat? He was the magic mountain! He drove me into one of my frenzies. I went berserk and kicked his door open, so they threw me out and told me never to come back again. I was willing to pay for it, I just wanted to talk to him, you know how I am.

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A Request for Proclo's Arrival

Papa: Get Proclo.

Vivian: Get Proclo, Papa? Yes Papa, he's just outside! I'll bring him in for your blessing. Oh, Papa, he'll be so pleased! He thought you hated him all these years! Oh, Papa!

Papa: Get Proclo.

Vivian: Get Proclo, Papa?

Papa: [''curses in Italian''] Kill him! Kill the son of a bitch!

Vivian: But Papa, he's my husband!

Papa: [''dies''] Get Proclo!

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Amenities at the Nightclub

others: Abe: We've got a nightclub, movies, swimming pool, steam room, massage table, discotheque, bridge, amateur night, and free blood tests every Wednesday.

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Subway Avoidance Explained in an Elevator

others: Man in Elevator: There's a reason some of us don't ride the subway. I'm looking right at it.

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Brick's Encounter with a Transvestite

others: Brick: One of those transvestites is standing right next to me. I can't talk now, I think he's surrounding me for unnatural things! And: See anything you like, Bud?

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Confrontation in a Public Space

others: Tiger: Alright, fat man, leave the little guy alone! What do you think this is, a YMCA?

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Customer's Experience in the Ritz Hotel

others: Customer: Did they ever put you on 4? It's Siberia up there!

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Orgy Announcement in Room 340

Chris: There will be an orgy beginning in room 340 in exactly 4 minutes! Orgy in 340, 4 minutes!

Strange Curse Described by Chris

Chris: It's like some strange heterosexual gypsy curse was put on this place!

Commitment to a Clear Path

Chris: I'm going straight.

A Threat of Violence and Urgency

Claude Perkins: If you're not down in my room in five minutes, then I'm gonna come up here and break your knees!

Affectionate Nickname for a Close Companion

Claude Perkins: Jelly roll, baby! You're my jelly roll man!

Humor in Body Size Perception

Gaetano Proclo: Chubby chaser. Hey, that's pretty funny. Unless you happen to be the chubby they're chasing.

Self-Perception and Judgment in Gaetano Proclo

Gaetano Proclo: Do I look like someone who would try to pass a bad check? Yeah? Yeah, of course I do!

Unexpected Reference to Ronald Reagan

Gaetano Proclo: [''amazed''] Ronald Reagan?!

Unexpected Encounter in The Ritz

Gaetano Proclo: Who the hell was that?!

Cultural Identity and Stereotypes in The Ritz

Googie Gomez: Plastic Puerto Ricans!

Unrecognized Talent and Future Fame

Googie Gomez: [''gasps''; ''gasps''] Some day, you're going to see the name of Googie Gomez in lights and you're going to say to yourself was that her? And you're gonna answer to yourself, that was her! But you know something, mister? I was always her, just that nobody knows it!