The Ritz poster

The Ritz Quotes

"The funny season begins when you check in for a night at The Ritz."

R 1976 · 1h 31m
60
Audience
Apple TV Store Available on Apple TV Store
60
Audience
31 quotes
The Ritz
A Threat of Violence and Urgency
Claude Perkins If you're not down in my room in five minutes, then I'm gonna come up here and break your knees!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Room Rental Duration Discussion
Abe How long?
Brick Is what?
Abe How long do you want the room for?
Brick Three or four hours should be sufficient for my purposes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Orgy Announcement in Room 340
Chris There will be an orgy beginning in room 340 in exactly 4 minutes! Orgy in 340, 4 minutes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Perceptions of Normalcy and Queerness
Abe People like you think the whole world is queer.
Chris It's lucky for people like you it is!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Returning to Unwanted Familiarity
Abe I thought you sworn off this place.
Claude I thought I had too.
Abe You got homesick for us, right?
Claude Well I didn't have much choice, I've been barred from the Appenium.
Abe Come on, nobody gets barred from the Appenium. How'd you manage that?
Claude Well, there was this man there.
Abe A fat man, right?
Claude Fat? He was the magic mountain! He drove me into one of my frenzies. I went berserk and kicked his door open, so they threw me out and told me never to come back again. I was willing to pay for it, I just wanted to talk to him, you know how I am.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Amenities at the Nightclub
others Abe: We've got a nightclub, movies, swimming pool, steam room, massage table, discotheque, bridge, amateur night, and free blood tests every Wednesday.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Confrontation in a Public Space
others Tiger: Alright, fat man, leave the little guy alone! What do you think this is, a YMCA?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Affectionate Nickname for a Close Companion
Claude Perkins Jelly roll, baby! You're my jelly roll man!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Abenomics of Kindness in The Ritz
Proclo You're a good man, uh...?
Abe Abe.
Proclo Abe. Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?
Abe Leftkowitz.
Proclo I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back.
Chris You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous.
Abe So what happened?
Chris Well look at me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Unrecognized Talent and Future Fame
Googie Gomez Some day, you're going to see the name of Googie Gomez in lights and you're going to say to yourself was that her? And you're gonna answer to yourself, that was her! But you know something, mister? I was always her, just that nobody knows it!
[''gasps''; ''gasps'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Strange Curse Described by Chris
Chris It's like some strange heterosexual gypsy curse was put on this place!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Cultural Identity and Stereotypes in The Ritz
Googie Gomez Plastic Puerto Ricans!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Unexpected Dinner Announcement
Claude You'll never guess what I made for dinner tonight so I'm just going to have to tell you.
Proclo I beg your pardon?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Frustration with the Weather Forecast
Googie Gomez No rain, he tells me. No rain, he says. No rain! Fucking weather man!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Measuring Anger on a Scale of Ten
Proclo How pissed off is he?
Chris On a ten-scale? Ten.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Threatening Boyfriend's Reaction to a Situation
Googie Gomez Oh, my boyfriend Hectar see me do that, he kill you with a knife this big!
[''after kissing Proclo''; ''touches her elbow'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Humorous Warning About Unsanitary Environments
Proclo You could catch athlete's foot in a place like this!
Tiger You're lucky if that's all you catch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Brick's Encounter with a Transvestite
others Brick: One of those transvestites is standing right next to me. I can't talk now, I think he's surrounding me for unnatural things! And: See anything you like, Bud?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Customer's Experience in the Ritz Hotel
others Customer: Did they ever put you on 4? It's Siberia up there!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Subway Avoidance Explained in an Elevator
others Man in Elevator: There's a reason some of us don't ride the subway. I'm looking right at it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Commitment to a Clear Path
Chris I'm going straight.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Self-Perception and Judgment in Gaetano Proclo
Gaetano Proclo Do I look like someone who would try to pass a bad check? Yeah? Yeah, of course I do!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Unexpected Encounter in The Ritz
Gaetano Proclo Who the hell was that?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
A Customer Requests Crisco at The Ritz
Customer Crisco.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Observations on Unusual Cowboy Chaps
Proclo My, what unusual pants. They look like cowboy chaps.
Man They are cowboy chaps.
[''in a gruff voice'']
Proclo Yeah, I was just thinking they look like cowboy chaps.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Humor in Body Size Perception
Gaetano Proclo Chubby chaser. Hey, that's pretty funny. Unless you happen to be the chubby they're chasing.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Unexpected Reference to Ronald Reagan
Gaetano Proclo Ronald Reagan?!
[''amazed'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Self-Discovery in Unexpected Conversations
Proclo I know what you are now! You're a chubby chaser!
Claude I know!
Proclo Stop it!
Claude How?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Concern for Hair in The Ritz
Googie Gomez My hairs! Not my hairs!
[''screams and curses in Spanish'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
A Request for Proclo's Arrival
Papa Get Proclo.
Vivian Get Proclo, Papa? Yes Papa, he's just outside! I'll bring him in for your blessing. Oh, Papa, he'll be so pleased! He thought you hated him all these years! Oh, Papa!
Papa Get Proclo.
Vivian Get Proclo, Papa?
Papa Kill him! Kill the son of a bitch!
[''curses in Italian'']
Vivian But Papa, he's my husband!
Papa Get Proclo!
[''dies'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Ritz
Abe's Son Is Getting Married
Chris Abe, how is that gorgeous son of yours?
Abe You're too late, he's getting married.
Chris That's terrific! You give him my love, will you?
Abe Sure thing.
Chris Does he need someone to practice with?
Abe He's been practicing already, that's why he has to get married.
Chris Well compared to me, Abe, she would have to be an amateur.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.