The Shaggy Dog (2006) - Quotes

Raise The Woof Tagline

Taglines: Raise The Woof.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Embracing the Chaos of Life

Taglines: Everything is going to the dogs.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Living the Life of a Dog

Taglines: Tim Allen Living in a Dog's Life.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Debate on Genetic Mutation and Animal Awareness

Dave: If that isn't evidence of genetic mutation, I don't know what is!

Judge Whittaker: [instructing the bailiff to remove Kozak from the courtroom] On second thought, Bailiff take him to custody.

Kozak: For what? Shufflin around a little DNA? Huh? Don't you morons realize I can make us all immortal? Animals don't even understand what's goin on!

Dave: Don't tell me they don't understand. Animals understand. I know different.

Dr. Kozak: [laughs; bailiff leads him out of the courtroom] This isn't over yet. We got so much in common. So, stay in touch, huh? Ooh, are we goin outside?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Discussion on Life-Extending Drug Possibilities

Dave: Dr. Kozak, is it true your company is workin on a drug that will extend human life like a hundred years?

Kozak: I am not at liberty to discuss that matter.

Dave: Of course you're not. But if that were true, that would be a pretty big deal, right?

Kozak: Ah, were true, which it is not, probably.

Dave: And whoever was in charge of developing such a thing... Whoo! Not only would they be insanely wealthy, they would be immortalized in history, right?

Kozak: Yes, I suppose it would.

Dave: Wow. What a thrill it must be to work under Dr. Strictland.

Kozak: Excuse me.

Dave: Dr. Strictland, the creative force at your company, right?

Kozak: [babbles] Well, it takes many different people to contribute to the higher...

Dave: Yes, yes, yes, yes. What an honor it must be to work in Dr. Strictland's shadow.

Kozak: No, no, I don't work in anyone's shadow. I wouldn’t. I couldn't live with myself.

Dave: There's nothin wrong being in second place. Second fiddle, second banana, second up?

Kozak: [starts growling] I am the chief scientist! I! Me! Mine!

Dave: Ho! Come on. Gettin kinda agitated. What's up, dog? Pick up a little virus down there in the lab, did ya?

Kozak: [Dave and Kozak begin to growling at each other] Must be something going around.

Judge Woman: [bangs] No more growlin'. Mr. Douglas have he enough.

Dave: ?

Kozak: Did not!

Judge Woman: ?

Kozak: Thank you.

Dave: ?

Judge Woman: ?

Kozak: Thank you, Ma'am.

Judge Woman: ?

Dave: ?

Judge Clarie: [[The Lego Movie|'''''Enough!!'''''] ]

Dave: ?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Confrontation Between Kozak and Dave

Kozak: I'm sorry you're a dog. I am also very sorry that you won't be leaving here alive. People will be wondering where you disappeared to. After all, dogs do wander off.

Dave: [as a dog] I can't believe you think you'll get away with this, Kozak.

Kozak: [Dave bites Kozak's finger] Unless before you die, we're going to want to run some tests on you. Eenie, meenie, miney, cut you, ow, your nose is coming…off, because we just don't understand how you turned into him. I'm very excited. I just can't wait to get inside that body of yours and just poke around for-- Oh, you filthy little mongrel! That wasn't very nice.

Dave: [as a dog] Ooh, that hurt, didn't it?

Kozak: Gonna have to work on that attitude when I get back. Meanwhile, we are gonna run upstairs for a minute. It seems Dr. Strictland is having a bit of a health crisis. And after that, we're off to court to watch Justin Forrester back down to save his own skin. Be back cut you up like a birthday cake later.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Father’s Concern for His Son’s Safety

Dave: [as a dog, gives Josh the book for the musical] Here. This is what you love because if you keep playin football, you're gonna get hurt.

Josh: Thanks, Dad.

Dave: [as a dog] Here's somethin else.

Josh: I know, I know.

Dave: [as a dog] Deal?

Josh: It's a deal.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Reactions Among Friends

Carly: [The message reads "I am Dad"] Shaggy, would you stop making such a-- That's impossible.

Dave: [as a dog] Finally.

Josh: How?

Josh: Grant and Strictland?

Dave: [as a dog] Yes.

Carly: [Hugs him] Well, Mr. Forrester said that they were making mutant animals. That's when I found Shaggy...but Shaggy bit Dad. Oh, Daddy!

Dave: [as a dog] It's okay, kiddo. It's okay.

Carly: I'm sorry, this is all my fault. Could you please forgive me?

Dave: [as a dog] There's nothin to forgive.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Betrayal and Regret in a Shocking Moment

Gwen: He's going into shocked. It's the serum. It doesn't work.

Kozak: Of course it works. Just couldn't give it to him.

Dave: What have you done to him?

Kozak: [hands the syringe to Larry] Lance? Lance, I'm so sorry that I have to do this to you, but I just couldn't let you take all of the credit again. Plus, you're a pig and I hate you. I hate you in so many ways. Could you hold this for a second? Get rid of it, accomplice.

Gwen: But, is he...dead?

Kozak: No, he's not dead. He's fully conscious, but he's unable to speak. The doctors will think it's dementia. The drug itself will wear off in a few months. But by then, I'll be CEO. And I will be famously, insanely, and imaginably wealthy!

Larry: This was not part of the plan!

Gwen: It's totally wrong.

Kozak: Of course I’ll cut you both in on his share.

Larry: Hold on.

Gwen: It's fine with me.

Kozak: Good. Larry, you park him in his desk for me. Or, should I say my desk?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Consequences of a Dog Theft

Carly: None of this would have happened if we hadn't stole Shaggy from Grant & Strictland.

Dave: [as dog] You what? Stole him? You stole a dog from Grant & Strictland and you lied about it!

Trey: [holds up bone] Fetch, boy!

Dave: [Trey throws bone] I am not your boy and I'm not gonna fe-- Oh, hey, I'll be right back!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Fatherly Expectations and Personal Choices

Tracy: Football? That's why you're not trying out? You hate football!

Josh: I know, but my dad loves it. You should hear him. "Oh, you're gonna be just like your old man." If I told him I want to do the musical instead, he'd, like, write me off as a son.

Tracy: Josh, is your father a stupid man?

Josh: He is clueless, which in some ways is better.

Dave: [as a dog] Oh, boy.

Josh: See, he told me I can play if I only keep my grades up so I start flunking math but he let me off with a warning. So now, I gotta flunk English, History, and Home Ec. Those are not really hard to fail.

Dave: [as a dog] Oh, no, Josh.

Tracy: So you'd rather wreck your future than tell your dad you hate football?

Josh: I can get my grades back up as long as he makes me quit in time.

Tracy: [Tracy leaves] Wow. Men are so complicated.

Dave: How did I let this happen? What kind of father am I?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Growl in the Courtroom

Judge Whittaker: Mr. Douglas! Did you just growl at the opposing council?

Dave: No. I need some water.

Judge Whittaker: Do you need a brief recess?

Dave: [growls at Judge Whittaker] No thanks. I just--

Judge Whittaker: Did you just growl at me?

Dave: [growls at Judge Whittaker again, then drinks some water] No, I had something caught in my throat.

Judge Whittaker: One more outburst and I'm holding you in comtempt.

Dave: [barks] Silence! Quiet! Whoo! I think I could use a brief re--re...

Judge Whittaker: [bangs gavel] Re-ecess. Ten minutes.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Determined Search for Answers Continues

Larry: We've searched the whole building.

Gwen: But we're gonna keep looking.

Dr. Kozak: Really?

Larry: Yes.

Dr. Kozak: In the same place or new places? Cause if you look the same place--

Larry: I think new places.

Dr. Kozak: Oh, yeah? Tell me more.

Larry: Definitely.

Dr. Kozak: Larry?

Larry: Yes?

Dr. Kozak: Don't-don't speak. Do you understand the great white lines until you get this dog? Yes?

Gwen: Yeah.

Dr. Kozak: It's yes or no question, Larry.

Larry: You said not to speak.

Dr. Kozak: And the key to my future! So, it stands to reason that, if you don't find him, you won't have a future.

Larry: Right.

Dr. Kozak: Why are you still standing here? No sleeping, no talking! Find him!

Balancing Consequences and Youthful Actions

Dr. Kozak: When I called you to make sure these people were arrested?

Dave: I understand that. If you arrest them, they'll turn into rebels with a cause on the 6 o'clock news. If you leave them there, they're just kids laying on a sidewalk.

Dr. Kozak: Good advice. Thanks for your help.

Dave: [releases hand to shake hands] You bet.

Dr. Kozak: I'm good.

Discussion on Unintended Side Effects

Lance: Is that a snake's tail or a furry tail?

Dr. Kozak: That would be a minor side effect.

Lance: Kozak, growing a dog's tail would turn your serum into a criminal act.

Dr. Kozak: You know, you need to relax and have a good work, and Lance, we'll found a good fountain of youth. (answers his cellphone) Security, Dr. Kozak.

Courtroom Curiosity and Canine Secrets

Lance: Kozak, how is it going in court today?

Dr. Kozak: Uh, Mr. Strictland, it goes well.

Lance: Have you unlocked the dog's secret?

Dr. Kozak: Let's not talk here. Hey, I've got something to show you that would interest you.

A Conversation About Legal Aspirations

Dave: Dr. Kozak.

Dr. Kozak: Yes?

Dave: I'm sorry I couldn't put you on the stand.

Dr. Kozak: Apology's not accepted. You know, Ken tells me if he steps down, you're gonna be the next district attorney.

Dave: Well, that's my hope.

Dr. Kozak: Certainly. Well hopefully, justice will be served. You have my support. As well as that, Grant & Strictland.

Balancing Academics and Family Responsibilities

Teacher: Josh was one of my best math students, and then, all of a sudden... Bad grades. And so we're just trying to search out an explanation, really.

Rebecca: Well, I think the problem is he's distracted by football.

Dave: Can I...? I think I know what the problem... The problem, I think, is me. I've been working too much. This is what this is about. I haven't been home. It's... It's been causing a lot of stress on my family.

Teacher: Well, I know what it's like to be too busy to do anything. In fact, I didn't even get to eat lunch. Do you mind if I eat something?

Dave: Sure. Go ahead.

Teacher: Thanks.