The Stepford Wives Quotes

Joanna What do they do there?

Bobbie Who knows? Sit around and reminisce about The Good Ol Days.

Joanna What were The Good Ol Days?

Bobbie Back when Playboy still used the airbrush!

Bobbie Markowe Joanna! How could you do a thing like that? When I was just going to give you coffee! When I was just going to give you coffee! How could you do a thing like that? I thought we were friends! I thought we were friends... I thought we were friends...

Joanna Why?

Dale Why? ... Because we can. We found a way of doing it, and it's just perfect. Perfect for us, and perfect for you.

Taglines Something strange is happening in the town of Stepford.

Carol I'll just die if I don't get the recipe.

Taglines Something strange is happening in the town of Stepford. Where the men spend their nights doing something secret. And every woman acts like every man's dream of the "perfect" wife. Where a young woman watches the dream become a nightmare. And sees the nightmare engulf her best friend. And realizes that any moment, any second - her turn is coming.

Bobbie Markowe I just don't get it. It's like there's this contest, okay? And the housewife with the cleanest house gets ] for Christmas... but nobody will tell the rules!

Taglines A very modern suspense story from the author of Rosemary's Baby.

Joanna It'll happen to me before then. When you come back, there will be a woman with my name and my face, she'll cook and clean like crazy, but she won't take pictures and she won't be me! She'll be... like the robots at Disneyland.

Dr. Fancher Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a prescription that you get filled, then you get your children and GET THE HELL OUT! Don't tell your husband, don't tell anybody, just get in your car and drive somewhere you feel safe.

Mary Ann I'm sorry. I just can waste my spare moments on something like that.

Joanna But you do go out sometimes don't you?

Mary Ann Go out? Of course I go out. I'm out now, aren't I?

Joanna Eberhart I can't just call him up and say, "I used be called Joanna Ingalls. You deflowered me ten years ago. Would you test my water?

Joanna Why do they call you Diz?

Dale I used to work in Disneyland.

Joanna No, really!

Dale No. Really.

Joanna I don't believe you.

Dale Why not?

Joanna You don't seem to be the kind of person that likes to make other people happy.

Joanna Eberhart If I am wrong, I'm insane... but if I'm right, it's even worse than if I was wrong.

Bobbie Markowe If I were to apologize for every time I got smashed, I'd spend my life wandering around saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry".

Bobbie Markowe I'm also an ex-Gothamite, who's been living here in Ajax country for just over a month now, and I'm going crazy. You see doctor, my problem is that given complete freedom of choice, I don't WANT to squeeze the goddamn Charmin!