The Substance Quotes

Harvey Sue! These are the Shareholders, they are dying to meet you! Is everything okay? So SMILE! That's what we want tonight! Pretty girls should always SMILE!

Elisabeth Sparkle There's been a slight misuse of the Substance.

Monstro ElisaSue Don't be scared! It's still me!

Elisabeth Sparkle It's me!

Monstro ElisaSue I'm Elisabeth! I'm Sue!

Taglines Have you ever dreamt of a better version of yourself?

The Substance What has been used on one side, is lost on the other side. There's no going back.

Harvey You will not be disappointed. She's my most beautiful creation. I have shaped her for success.

Fred You haven't changed a bit! You're still the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world!

Casting Director Too bad her boobs aren't in the middle of her face instead of that nose!

Oliver I am actually quite handy if you ever need me to be an aid. I have got a big hammer, you know what I mean!

Taglines It'll change your life.

Sue Hi everybody. I'm Sue. And it's time to Pump It Up!

Elisabeth Sparkle You have to...

Sue CONTROL YOURSELF!

Taglines You have to control yourself.

Harvey Gorgeous. With a pure heart. People are gonna love that!

Elisabeth Sparkle The balance must be respected.

The Substance So respect it.

Oliver Hey, Sue!

Elisabeth Sparkle FUCK OFF!

Elisabeth Sparkle Jurassic Fitness? I'll fucking show you. You wanna see some Jurassic Fitness? You want it? Come on, come get your fucking Jurassic Fitness!

Taglines If you follow the instructions, what could go wrong?

The Substance Have you ever dreamt of a better version of yourself? Younger, more beautiful, more perfect. One single injection unlocks your DNA, starting a new cellular division, that will release another version of yourself. This is the Substance. You are the matrix. Everything comes from you. Everything is you. This is simply a better version of yourself. You just have to share. One week for one and one week for the other. A perfect balance of seven days each. The one and only thing not to forget: You. Are. One. You can't escape from yourself.

Sue I won't be out late, so just wait for me. Don't eat too fast.

Elisabeth Sparkle You're the only part of me I don't hate.

Monstro ElisaSue I'm so happy to be with you tonight. I've missed you all so much...

Sue I need a better version of myself. Please give me a better version of myself, please! Please! Come on!

Harvey I don't care if I see every fucking young girl in this fucking town in the next few weeks. Look, I made it simple. We need her young. We need her hot. We need her now. How the old bitch has been able to stick around for this long, that's the fucking mystery to me. Oh, Oscar winner, my ass. When was that back in the 30s? What, for King Kong? No, I don't give a fuck what we promised her. This is network TV, not a fucking charity. Find me someone new. NOW! Hey, did you know that a woman's fertility starts to decrease by the age of 25? How old is Jennifer? Ha ha. You better get busy.

Man at Diner It's long, isn't it?

Elisabeth Sparkle Excuse me?

Man at Diner Seven days.

Elisabeth Sparkle Did you follow me here?

Man at Diner I was just curious to find out how things were going for you. Each time you feel a little more lonely, don't you think?

Elisabeth Sparkle I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine. Everything's fine.

Man at Diner It gets harder each time, to remember that you still deserve... to exist! That this part of yourself is still worth something! That you still matter!

Man at Diner Has she started yet? Eating away at you?

Sue I don't know. Uh...

Elisabeth Sparkle Say it! Say it!

Sue Let me think.

Elisabeth Sparkle Say it! Tell them who your little beauty secret is!

Sue I guess...

Elisabeth Sparkle I would just show them right here. Here's your little beauty secret.

Sue I guess I just try to be myself. To be sincere and grateful for all that I have. And to always remember to leave with my heart.