Welcome to the Christ-aceous Period
Taglines:
Welcome to the Christ-aceous period.
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A Question of Spiritual Reflection
Taglines:
How long has it been since your last confession?
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Questioning Evolution in Unlikely Circumstances
Taglines:
Evolution? Maybe.
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A Unique Identity in Transformation
Taglines:
Man of the clawth.
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Conflicting Views on Divine Intentions
Doug Jones:
I might be on a mission from God himself!
Father Stewart:
That's insane, Doug! God does not want people dead!
Doug Jones:
Oh, I think God wants a lot of people dead.
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A Conversation About Uniqueness and Acceptance
Doug Jones:
Father Stewart, what if I told you that I was different?
Father Stewart:
You're not that different, Doug. There are plenty of men like that in the church.
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Unexpected Revelations About Identity and Profession
Doug Jones:
You're a hooker?
Carol:
And premed/law, but people aren't surprised as much by that one.
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Uncertainty About God and Dinosaurs
Carol:
I don't know much about God.
Doug Jones:
I don't know much about dinosaurs.
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One-Time Experience Acknowledged by Both Parties
Carol:
Last night was... amazing.
Doug Jones:
Oh. Oh, I see. Let me be fair and say this can never happen again.
Carol:
So it was just a one-time thing?
Doug Jones:
Yes, honestly it never should have happened at all.
Carol:
That's for sure.
Doug Jones:
Oh. Was it bad?
Carol:
It was... weird.
Doug Jones:
Oh.
Carol:
Honestly, it all happened so quickly. I was very scared, I think I even peed myself.
Doug Jones:
Oh. Was it your first time too?
Carol:
Yeah.
Doug Jones:
As I said, I'm a priest, so we can never say...
Carol:
What, what are you talking about?
Doug Jones:
What are you talking about?
Carol:
That time you turned into a dinosaur and ate someone.
Doug Jones:
Wait - what? What?
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Confessions of a Criminal Character
Doug Jones:
What is it that you'd like to confess?
Frankie Mermaid:
Ah, geez, I guess we could cover the last... four days? I stole candy from this baby, then I threw the baby in the river - so it couldn't snitch, obviously - then, ah, well, I pimp bitches, do drugs, sell drugs, murder people - really, you name it, I've done it, padre.
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Frankie Mermaid's Defiance of Authority
Frankie Mermaid:
Listen, Padre, Frankie-fuckin'-Mermaid smokes where the fuck he wants because his life is on fiyah!
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A Bold Comment on Appetite and Ambition
Frankie Mermaid:
Yo, Cherry! If you stuffed dicks in your mouth like you're doing that sandwich, I'd be a fuckin millionaire by now!
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The Unchanging Nature of War and Hell
Father Stewart:
War is war, and war is hell, and hell never changes.
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Finding God Within Through Unlikely Places
Father Stewart:
Go where you think God will not follow. If you find him there, then you know he's within you.
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Acceptance of Loss and Moving On
Father Stewart:
So your parents died, Doug. It's what parents do. They die on you. They're in a better place.
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Skepticism About Dinosaurs and Transformation
Doug Jones:
I don't believe you. Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I don't transform into one.
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