16 quotes
Uncertainty About God and Dinosaurs
Carol
I don't know much about God.
Doug Jones
I don't know much about dinosaurs.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Evolution in Unlikely Circumstances
Taglines
Evolution? Maybe.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding God Within Through Unlikely Places
Father Stewart
Go where you think God will not follow. If you find him there, then you know he's within you.
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Frankie Mermaid's Defiance of Authority
Frankie Mermaid
Listen, Padre, Frankie-fuckin'-Mermaid smokes where the fuck he wants because his life is on fiyah!
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One-Time Experience Acknowledged by Both Parties
Carol
Last night was... amazing.
Doug Jones
Oh. Oh, I see. Let me be fair and say this can never happen again.
Carol
So it was just a one-time thing?
Doug Jones
Yes, honestly it never should have happened at all.
Carol
That's for sure.
Doug Jones
Oh. Was it bad?
Carol
It was... weird.
Doug Jones
Oh.
Carol
Honestly, it all happened so quickly. I was very scared, I think I even peed myself.
Doug Jones
Oh. Was it your first time too?
Carol
Yeah.
Doug Jones
As I said, I'm a priest, so we can never say...
Carol
What, what are you talking about?
Doug Jones
What are you talking about?
Carol
That time you turned into a dinosaur and ate someone.
Doug Jones
Wait - what? What?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Uniqueness and Acceptance
Doug Jones
Father Stewart, what if I told you that I was different?
Father Stewart
You're not that different, Doug. There are plenty of men like that in the church.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Unchanging Nature of War and Hell
Father Stewart
War is war, and war is hell, and hell never changes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skepticism About Dinosaurs and Transformation
Doug Jones
I don't believe you. Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I don't transform into one.
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Unexpected Revelations About Identity and Profession
Doug Jones
You're a hooker?
Carol
And premed/law, but people aren't surprised as much by that one.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicting Views on Divine Intentions
Doug Jones
I might be on a mission from God himself!
Father Stewart
That's insane, Doug! God does not want people dead!
Doug Jones
Oh, I think God wants a lot of people dead.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acceptance of Loss and Moving On
Father Stewart
So your parents died, Doug. It's what parents do. They die on you. They're in a better place.
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Confessions of a Criminal Character
Doug Jones
What is it that you'd like to confess?
Frankie Mermaid
Ah, geez, I guess we could cover the last... four days? I stole candy from this baby, then I threw the baby in the river - so it couldn't snitch, obviously - then, ah, well, I pimp bitches, do drugs, sell drugs, murder people - really, you name it, I've done it, padre.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Welcome to the Christ-aceous Period
Taglines
Welcome to the Christ-aceous period.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Comment on Appetite and Ambition
Frankie Mermaid
Yo, Cherry! If you stuffed dicks in your mouth like you're doing that sandwich, I'd be a fuckin millionaire by now!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Identity in Transformation
Taglines
Man of the clawth.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Spiritual Reflection
Taglines
How long has it been since your last confession?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.