The Way of the Gun (2000) - Quotes

The Nature of Plans and Consequences

Longbaugh: What do you think?

Parker: I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

Longbaugh: If we die we die alone.

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A Reluctant Alliance in a Tense Situation

Longbaugh: Can you walk?

Parker: Only if we can get this cocksucker.

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A Threatening Interrogation Scene

Parker: In a few minutes I'm gonna pull your fingernails out and leave you to think about em. Then I'll cut your eyelids off. Then from time to time I'll pour gasoline in your eyeballs to keep you from passing out. Bottom line guy, I'm gonna ask you one question then I'm never gonna ask you again. Where did they take the girl.

Obecks: I don't know.

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Control Over Actions and Consequences

Parker: Christ, you almost hit her!

Longbaugh: If I wanna hit her I'll hit her. If I wanna miss I'll miss.

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A Plan to Simplify the Mission

Jeffers: What?

Obecks: Well, I'm just talking here... but by their design, all we really need to come back with is the baby... think about it... no money, no perps, no nothing. We could kill these two fucks, take the money, bring Chidduck his baby, and say it all went well.

Jeffers: Well... mostly well.

Obecks: What? The girl?

Jeffers: Yeah.

Obecks: Well when she doesn't show up in a couple of months, it'll be assumed she ate a bullet and they made off for fucking Bolivia... damn it... it doesn't work. The doc...

Jeffers: The doctor gets shot in the fray...

Obecks: Right...

Jeffers: We tried to help him, but it was either him or the baby. He was alive when we took off, and must have died crawling for help in the desert.

Obecks: Creative articulation my good man.

Jeffers: Just talking of course...

Obecks: Sure.

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A Mysterious Encounter with a Threatening Figure

Longbaugh: Who are you?

Sarno: I'm the guy you might meet one night. When you wake up with a pillow over your head. And the only thing you'll hear is a little pop.

Longbaugh: You're a bag man.

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The Way of the Gun - Dialogue 8

Chidduck: Do you believe in Karma?

Sarno: Karma is justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.

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The Nature of Modern Criminality

Longbaugh: But, you know, then you got the other side. You got these trigger-happy cocksuckers all about the shooting and posturing and you don't know who I am kind of thing...”I been to prison.

Sarno: Cause you got caught, dumb fuck.

Longbaugh: These days, they want to be criminals more than they want to commit crime.

Joe Sarno: Well that's... that's not just crime. That's the way of the world.

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Questioning Intelligence in a Risky Operation

Sarno: So are you the brains of the op, or is he?

Longbaugh: To tell you the truth I don't think this is a brains kind of operation.

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Love and Choices in Parenthood

Parker: [A gun to Robin's stomach] Do you love this baby?

Robin: [Shaken] Yes!

Parker: Then you walk.

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Tension Builds in a Hostile Encounter

Parker: All right guys I want this to go down nice and quiet. So put the guns down.

Parker: Come on, guys, this is no good.

Longbaugh: Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Parker: What?

Longbaugh: People, man! There's people!

Parker: Can't you people see there are guns here?

Parker: ...Get. The fuck. OUT! GET OUT!

Parker: All right guys, come on. We've got you dead to it. Now I am gonna count to three.

Longbaugh: Ah, fuck.

Parker: What the fuck are you doing?! You're supposed to be protecting her!

Longbuagh: Ah, fuck. Man, what'd I tell you?

Robin: Walk away. Walk away. They don't care about dying, just losing. You're not gonna make it out of here alive. Someone could've called the cops by now, you know they're gonna come! Just walk away.

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Tensions Escalate in a Confrontational Encounter

Whipped Boyfriend (to Parker/Longbaugh): Hey! Hey! Yeah you, get up. What are you, retarded? Get off the fucking car!

Raving Bitch (to Parker/Longbaugh): Hey dickless, get off the fucking car! Hey fuck suck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!

Parker: Shut that cunt's mouth or I'll come over there and fuck start her head!

Raving Bitch (to Whipped Boyfriend): Do something! Go!

Raving Bitch (to Parker/Longbaugh): You're gonna wish you never fucking got up this morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna fuck you up! And then after that while he's fucking up your fucking gay uncle over there I'm gonna fucking cut off your cock and mail it to your mother, you fucking faggot bitch! Gaylord fucking bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot? You fucking faggot? You like to ass fuck? Fontanella fucking babyhead fuck?

Whipped Boyfriend (to Raving Bitch): Honey.

Raving Bitch (to Whipped Boyfriend): Go ahead.

Raving Bitch (to Parker/Longbaugh): You like to fuck babyheads? You like to fuck boys? He's gonna fuck you in the ass, how do you like that? He's not even gay but he'll do it just to fuck...

Whipped Boyfriend(to Raving Bitch): Honey, honey.

Whipped Boyfriend (to Parker/Longbaugh): She's got a big mouth but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly and I'm gonna fuck you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.

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A Confession Unasked in Conversation

Longbaugh: Well, I've never killed a man…

Employee: I beg your pardon?

Longbaugh: I said I've never killed a man.

Employee: I didn't ask if you had.

Longbaugh: You asked me why I think I was qualified, and I think that's qualification.

Employee: And I'm just wondering why that in particular strikes you as an important qualification for semen donation.

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Qualifications for Being a Donor

Employee: What would you say qualifies you as a donor?

Parker: Well, I'd say I'm a fairly intelligent, good-looking man, physically fit, stable…

Employee: Okay... heterosexual?

Parker: [pause] Can I ask you something?

Employee: Sure.

Parker: Are you a faggot?

Parker: See, you asked me if I was heterosexual. I asked you the same question, only I was clear about the answer I was looking for.

Employee: I just asked if you were heterosexual.

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A Moment of Anticipation

Joe Sarno: [parting after Longbaugh rejects settlement offer, holding the handshake firm] Until that day, then, huh?

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The Life of a Hitman

Joe Sarno: I'm the button man. I'm the guy you wake up to one night, maybe a year from now, maybe two. And all you'll see is a pillow over your face, and you'll hear a pop. Plenty more where I came from.

Survivors and Assumptions About Age

Joe Sarno: You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor.

A Moment Before Change

Joe Sarno: [To his dying friend] Till that day...

Karma and the Concept of Justice

Joe Sarno: Karma is justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.

Money as a Universal Motive

Joe Sarno: Fifteen million dollars is not money. It's a motive with a universal adaptor on it.

A Promise of Unforgettable Consequences

Joe Sarno: I can promise you a day of reckoning you won't live long enough to never forget.

Questioning the Intelligence of the Plan

Longbaugh: To tell you the truth, I don't think this is a brains kind of operation.

Confronting God with Unanswered Questions

Longbaugh: [''As he lays dying with Parker''] What are you going to tell God now?

Framing God: A Reflection on Innocence

Longbaugh: You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed.

Valuing the Heart's Burden

Longbaugh: A heart is the only thing that has value. If you have one, get rid of it.

The Illusion of Free Offers

Longbaugh: There's always free cheese in a mousetrap.

Confronting Forgiveness and Redemption in Conflict

Parker: We don't want your forgiveness; we won't make excuses. We're not gonna blame you, even if you are an accessory, but we will not accept your natural order. We didn't come for absolution, we didn't ask to be redeemed, but isn't that the way it is? Every goddamn time. Your prayers are always answered, in the order they're received.

The Distance Between Kidnapper and Money

Parker: The longest distance between two points is a kidnapper and his money.

Plans and Their Unpredictable Outcomes

Parker: I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

The Search for Purpose Beyond Fate

Parker: There is a natural order. The way things are meant to be. An order that says the good guys always win, that you die when it's your time or when you have it coming, that the ending is always happy-if only for someone else. Now at some point it became clear that our path had been chosen for us and we had nothing to offer the world. Our options narrowing down to petty crime or minimum wage, so we stepped off the path and went looking for the fortune that we knew was looking for us. Once off the path you do what you can to eat, keep moving. You don't blow your ghost of a chance with nickel and dime, no possessions, no comforts. Need is the ultimate monkey. A pint of your blood can fetch you fifty bucks, a shot of cum—three grand. You keep your life simple and you can literally self sustain.