28 quotes
Self-Doubt and Misplaced Comparisons in Relationships
Mary
He said they were just friends, but deep down I knew better. I was just a stand-in. A poor man's Wendy. ... Jerk. It's a good thing I didn't marry him. But most of the time I just think... I just wasn't enough.
Steve
No, no, no, you're wrong. And another thing. This Wendy, she's nothing but a poor man's Mary.
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A Low-Budget Culinary Delight
Mary
That's your specialty? Instant macaroni and cheese.
Massimo
Si, it is a low-budget wonder. Already today, I've eaten three boxes.
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Unresolved Feelings After a Dance
Steve
It was a dance. Whoop dee doo. It didn't mean anything.
Mary
Then why'd you almost kiss me?
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Planning as an Alternative to Wedding Expertise
Taglines
Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t wed, plan.
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A Planner's Dilemma on a Special Day
Taglines
His big day is her big problem.
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Cleaning Instructions from a Wedding Planner
Mary
A quarter cup of lemon juice, half a cup of salt and a loofah sponge. Scrub scrub scrub.
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Misunderstanding About Paralysis in a Hospital
Mary
Where am I?
Little Girl 1
You're at the Children's Ward of St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm your doctor. Try not to talk.
Mary
My god. I'm paralyzed! I'm paralyzed!
Little Boy
If you're moving your arms and legs, you're clearly not paralyzed.
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Scrabble Strategy and Scoring
Mary
Earwax. X on a triple letter, A on a double word. Seventy-two points.
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Chocolate Choices and Personal Connections
Steve
Why are you only eating the brown ones?
Mary
Because someone once said that they had less artificial coloring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me.
Steve
You kind of stayed with me.
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Unexpected Interruptions During a Conversation About Love
Fran
Oh, Mary I've been meaning to ask you. Speaking of love, what happened to that guy? You know, the one that you danced with-- (car swerves) EDDIE!
Steve
There was a damn deer in the road. Did you see that? Damn it.
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Unconventional Thoughts About Problem Solving
Mary
What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers.
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Breathing Difficulties Amidst Romantic Tension
Steve
Now talk to me. How are you feeling? Are you experiencing any dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing?
Mary
The breathing thing rings a bell. Then again, you are on top of me, cutting off my air supply.
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A Lasting Marriage Filled with Love
Mary
You are exquisite. You're timeless. And you have the love of a man named Steve. A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me: I can't believe she picked me. I can't believe I'm marrying the most incredible woman I've ever met. So that tells me that this marriage of yours is not only gonna work, it's gonna last forever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Children's Innocence and Mortality Discussion
Little Girl 1
Yup, she's dead all right.
Little Girl 2
You think she's going to heaven?
Little Boy
Definitely. She's got the cleanest toes I've ever seen!
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A Control Freak's Apology for Lack of Help
Mary
Nancy Pong? 2C?
Nancy Pong
Yes.
Mary
It's Mary Fiore, 7H. You don't know me. We haven't met because I'm a control freak and I don't have time for people. But if you ever need to borrow a cup of sugar, I can't help you. Because I don't have time to shop.
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Destined for Scrabble: A Family Tradition
Steve
Seriously. How'd you get into it? I've never met a member of a Scrabble Club before.
Mary
When my parents came over from Italy they joined a Scrabble Club so they could learn English. After my mom died, my dad became, like, obsessed with the game and wanted me to play with him all the time. So, I guess, in a way, I was destined.
Steve
C-O-O-L.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Compliment on Scents
Mary
You smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches.
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Unexpected Solutions in Unusual Situations
Steve
Oh, of course. Krazy Glue. Why didn't I bring the Krazy Glue, in case his pecker fell off?
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Reunion Sparks Playful Banter Among Friends
Salvatore
Maria, you remember Massimo.
Dottie
Mud did him good.
Massimo
The last time I see you, you were scrawny and ugly and your head was too big for your body.
Mary
How nice. Thank you.
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Questioning the Nature of Greatness
Steve
What if what I think is great, really is great... but it's not as great, as something greater?
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A Unique Approach to Organizing Finances
Steve
I had to go through your wallet to get your identification. And you know what I must say, I've ever met anyone who alphabetized her credit cards before.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Wedding Choices and Color Selection
Mary
Are you aware that Fran has chosen teal for her bridesmaids? Teal, the color of gangrene. ... Oh, oh, and I Honestly Love You as your wedding song? You might as well commit matrimonial suicide right now!
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A Shoe Saved My Life
Mary
You saved... my shoe. M-my life.
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Misunderstandings Over Names and Toasting
Bert
I told you Mismo was full of crap.
Salvatore
No Mismo! MASSimo! MASSimo! Please, go toast your bagel and mind your own business.
Bert
Yeah yeah, I'll toast when I see fit! Mismo, Massimo, any other kind of -mo, -mo.
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Choosing Chocolate: A Colorful Debate
Mary
What are you doing?
Steve
I only eat the brown ones.
[eating M&Ms]
Mary
Because?
Steve
Well, because I figure they have less artificial coloring because chocolate is already brown.
Mary
That's very scientific of you Dr. Steve.
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Love, Promises, and Dance Wishes
Geri
Pierre, I love you, but if you use another carnation in my bouquet I will deport you. Muah.
Penny
Oh no! Darn it, I just remembered that I... I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her um change her fax cartridge tonight... because she's going out of town tomorrow... on an African safari!
Bert
Girl asks you to dance, you dance.
Massimo
You long for him the way I long for you.
Massimo
You need to learn the patience. Love can't always be perfect. Love is just love.
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Neck Brace Conversation Between Steve and Mary
Steve
You can take this off now. (removes neck brace) Oh, you've got a big neck.
Mary
I have a big neck!?
Steve
Don't get me wrong. It's a fine neck. It's just that, I haven't had a patient over the age of six in three years.
Mary
(sees bandaged hand) What happened to your hand?
Steve
My hand. You fell on it with your big neck.
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Memorable Moments and Unspoken Connections
Steve
You ever think about that night in the park?
Mary
What?
Steve
I barely know you. I don't know your dad's first name. I don't know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses. I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I know the curves of your face and I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. And I know that that night in the park was the best time I've ever had.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.