32 quotes
The Complexity of Success and Failure in Golf
Romeo
1981 Fort Washington Golf Club, Fresno, California- Ring a bell? Final round of the Tour qualifing school? Tried to hit that same impossible cut 3-wood into the wind from a hilly lie- 5 in a row out of bounds. Until you finaly pulled it off and tapped it in for a crowd-pleasing 13... when a 12 would have got you on the Tour. Now that was a defining moment. And the definition was "shit.
Roy
Greatness courts failure, Romeo.
Romeo
You may be right boss, but you know what? Sometimes par is good enough to win.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Taking Risks in Love
Molly
All you have to do is walk up to this, this woman, wherever she is, look her in the eye -- look at me, Roy -- just look her in the eyes, that's right, let down your guard, and don't try to be cool or smooth or whatever; just be honest and take a risk. And you know what, whatever happens, if you act from the heart, you can't make a mistake.
Roy
Dr. Griswold...
Molly
Yes?
Roy
I think I'm in love with you.
Molly
What?
Roy
From the moment I first saw you, I knew I was through with bar girls and... strippers and motorcycle chicks, and... when we first started talking I was smitten with you, and I'm smitten with you more every day I think about you, and the fact that you know I'm full of crapola only makes you more attractive to me. Usually I can bullshit people, but I can't bullshit you, and in addition you got, you got great legs, and most women I'm thinking about how to get in their pants from day one, but with you I'm just I'm just thinking about how to get into your heart. Stunned?
Molly
So...
Roy
So what about dinner and we can talk about us and if we have a future and how to drop that horse's ass boyfriend of yours.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Challenge to Self-Confidence Among Friends
Roy
Any of you shitheads ever get bored? You ever get bored? Cause I got a riddle. Takes about 2 ounces of brains to figure it out. Anybody think they got a brain with 2 ounces of brains in it?
Romeo
There's a rumor Earl does.
Roy
For chrissakes, fellas, come on, a little self-confidence from the players gallery. We ain't talkin long division.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Balancing Love and Personal Goals
Romeo
You know what I think? She's got you by the huevos.
Roy
Your job is to teach me patience and humility. Don't advise me on my love-life. Not all my thinking occurs below the belt. I stand for a few things besides my next romantic interlude.
Romeo
You'll have no trouble telling her you can't teach her until after the Open.
Roy
That'd make an issue out of something that's not an issue. Besides, I'm focused. I am! This is my quest! This is my stand for the guys who've had their fill of soulless robots like David Simms.
Romeo
Well, He may be a soulless robot, but he's a rich, happy, soulless robot... with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend. Besides, how's getting in the Open going to change what she thinks about you?
Roy
Well, it'll show her that I'm not who she thinks I am.
Romeo
But you are who she thinks you are!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Talent and Professionalism at the Range
Clint
How can such a pretty girl have such an ugly swing.
[about Molly]
Earl
The word normal and him don't often collide in the same sentence.
[about Roy]
David Simms
Can you people not see that I'm busy? I'm working. This is my office. Do I come to your office and ask for an autograph? I don't think so. Jesus. What an ugly dog.
TV Director
Another driving range pro, it's all we needed. It's heroes that I need. Not obscure driving range pros.
Jim Nantz
Unbelievable. McAvoy has done it. You just saw the greatest round in U.S. Open history. The all-time lowest round in a major doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus or an Arnold Palmer, Hogan, Nelson or Snead. It's been shot by the most improbable artist of all. Roy McAvoy has his signature on golf's all-time masterpiece round.
Doreen
You're not one of those women who tries to fix men, I hope. I mean, men cannot be fixed, and especially him.
[to Molly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Golf Swing as a Poetic Expression
Roy
What Is The Golf Swing," by Roy McAvoy? Well, I tend to think of the golf swing as a poem.
Romeo
Ooh, he's doing that poetry thing again.
Roy
The critical opening phrase of this poem will always be the grip. The hands unite to form a single unit by the simple overlap of the little finger.
Molly
Right.
Roy
Lowly and slowly, the clubhead is led back, pulled into position not by the hands, but by the body, which turns away from the target, shifting weight to the right side without shifting balance. Tempo is everything; perfection unobtainable as the body coils down at the top of the swing. There's a slight hesitation. A little nod to the gods...
Molly
A, a nod to the gods?
Roy
Yeah, to the gods. That he is fallible. That perfection is unobtainable. And now the weight begins shifting back to the left pulled by the powers inside the earth, it's alive, this swing! A living sculpture and down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. A tuning fork goes off in your loins. Such a pure feeling is the well-struck golf shot. And then the follow through to finish. Always on line. The reverse C of the Golden Bear! The steel workers power and brawn of Carl Sandburg's Arnold Palmer!
Romeo
Ohh, he's doing that Arnold Palmer thing.
Roy
And then the unfinished symphony of Roy McAvoy.
Molly
What's unfinished?
Roy
Well, I have a short follow-through. It has an unfinished look...
Molly
Why?
Roy
Well, some say it's the easiest way to play in the winds of west Texas...some say it's because I never finish anything in my life. You can decide. But the point is...every finishing position is unique. That's what the golf swing's about. It's about gaining control of your life and...letting go at the same time.
Molly
Jeez Louise.
Roy
There's only one other acceptable theory about how to hit the ball.
Molly
Oh, boy, well, I'm afraid to ask. What is it?
Roy
Grip it and rip it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Astrology and Attitudes in Relationships
Molly
Mr. McAvoy, I can appreciate that you have a fairly laid-back, relaxed lifestyle--but I have hours to keep.
Roy
All right. A former paramour once ascribed my fluid sense of time to being born under the sign of Pisces. Something about floating through the universe.
Molly
You amuse me, Roy. But I'm the only woman in America born after World War II who thinks astrology's a crock of shit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Reason Behind a Golf Shot
Roy
Parred the backside with a 7-iron.
Simms
Why?
Molly
Yeah, that's exactly right. That's the question, "Why?
Romeo
Because he broke his other clubs. Snapped them in two.
Simms
Jesus.
Roy
Not all of them. Romeo broke two.
Simms
I'm on your side here. We go way back. I hope you qualify for the Open. But if you do, you better play with control or you'll get slaughtered. Good players shoot an 80 in the Open. You see it means you just can't go for it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Male Competitiveness and Insecurity
Dr. Molly Griswold
Why do men always insist on measuring their dicks?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Delusions of Grandeur
Molly
Can I ask you a question? If you're such a legendary striker of the golf ball, as everyone says...why are you, at your age, out here in the middle of nowhere...operating a barely-solvent establishment, ducking the I.R.S...collecting a few pathetic dollars to buy your next sixpack when you're capable of so much more?
Roy
Perhaps I'm chock-full of inner demons.
Molly
No. You're chock-full of bullshit.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Golf and Sex: Enjoyment Over Skill
Roy McAvoy
You know someone once said that golf and sex are the only two things you don't have to be good at to enjoy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Swinging Conversation About Apologies
Molly
You've got a beautiful swing.
Roy
I'm a beautiful guy.
Molly
Look, Roy, I came to apologize, okay?
Roy
For what?
Molly
You did what I said and I poured cold water over your efforts. I didn't get it. I'm a terrible shrink, probably. Should've stayed in real estate, shit, actually, I should have never left Ohio for that cowboy in Amarillo, but... Have you ever been to Amarillo?
Roy
Cowboy?
Molly
Yeah. It's not as romantic when you're actually with one, trust me. So, the oil man in Dallas or Houston, I don't know where he was from. Anyway, he looked great. After that, I went to the Gulf and ended up in trailer sales. Then condos in Corpus Christi. The bottom, just, boom, fell right out of the market so I needed a new gig.
Roy
A new gig?
Molly
Yeah, therapy. I took all the classes. I'm legitimate. Legal. Certified. Fuck! I'm certifiable. I'm really sorry.
Roy
Oh, boy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Game Beyond the Golf Course
Roy
First thing you must learn is this game ain't about hitting a little ball in some yonder hole. It's about inner demons, self-doubt, human frailty and overcoming that shit. What kind of doctor did you say you were?
Molly
Psychologist. A neo-Jungian, post-modern Freudian, holistic secularist.
Roy
Okay.
Molly
I mean, inner demons, human frailty, that's my life's work.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Take on Golf Lesson Expectations
Roy McAvoy
Fuck." "Shit." These are highly technical golf terms; You're using them on your first lesson. This is promising.
[to Molly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledgment of Roy's Excellence
Earl
You the man, Roy. You are definitely the man.
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Navigating the Journey to Personal Growth
Roy
Okay, so how do I do it? Therapy, I mean, I mean, wh-- how do I start doing it?
Molly
Ooo-kay, Roy. Well, in parlance you might understand, just kick back and let the big dog eat.
Roy
Suppose there's this guy, and he's standing on the shore of a big wide river, and the... river's full of all manner of disaster, you know, piranhas, alligators, eddies, currents, shit like that nobody'll even go down there to dip a toe. And on the other side of the river's a million bucks, and on this side of the river is a rowboat.
Molly
Mm-hmm?
Roy
I guess my question's this: What would possess the guy standing on the shore to swim for it?
Molly
He is an idiot.
Roy
No, see, he's a helluva swimmer. His problem's more like why does he always have to rise to the challenge?
Molly
He is a juvenile idiot.
Roy
You don't understand what I mean by the river.
Molly
Roy, we're talking about you, and what you like to call your inner demons -- that human frailty you like to blather about -- not some mythopoetic metaphor you come up with in a feeble and transparent effort to do yourself credit.
Roy
You mean you're going to make me feel lousy?
Molly
No.
Roy
I came here to feel better. I mean, what kind of therapy is...
Molly
Roy, Roy, Roy, you don't have any inner demons. What you have is inner crapola, inner debris... garbage... loose wires, horseshit in staggering amounts.
[laughs]
Roy
I'm not some just jerk driving range pro who drinks too much booze, eats too few vegetables, okay?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling to Pursue Destiny Amidst Work Constraints
Roy
Here I am, ready to charge forth in pursuit of my destiny and I can't get time off work to do it.
Romeo
I'm no expert here, but it seems to me that the pursuit of destiny isn't something you need to get off a $10 per hour job to do.
Roy
Well, I'm stuck, and I'm buried. I need help, and I need advice. I need counseling, I need a... I need a shrink.
Romeo
You don't know no shrinks.
Roy
I know one!
Romeo
No-ooo, no no no. Not the doctor lady.
Roy
Why not?
Romeo
You can't ask for advice about the woman you're trying to hose FROM the woman you're trying to hose!
Roy
Why not?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Golf Terminology and Misunderstandings
Roy
Waggle it and let the big dog eat.
Molly
What big dog?
Roy
The driver, the #1-wood.
Molly
Oh this is metal.
Roy
Woods are metal, the driver's known as the big dog. I'm just saying let him loose, let it rip, let the big dog eat.
Molly
You know, this is without a doubt the stupidest, silliest...most idiotic, grotesquely masquerading game ever invented.
Roy
Yes ma'am and that's why I love it. Now if you hit one good shot, just one, and that tuning fork rings in your loins and you can't wait to get back...and do it again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Recognition in Performance
Roy McAvoy
Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs me except insufficient applause.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating Masculinity in Golf Culture
Roy
Thirteen years on the tour an you're still a pussy.
Simms
Thirteen years on the driving range and you still think this game is about your testosterone count.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Therapy Session
Molly
Roy, Roy... why are you here?
Roy
Therapy.
Molly
You've come for therapy? Okay, look, Roy, you know, you really need to make an appointment. Because I have a client in a half an hour.
Roy
That's enough time. Thirty minutes? Hell, I'm not THAT fucked up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Deception and Misjudgment in Relationships
Dr. Molly Griswold
I can always tell when someone's lying to himself. But I am quite susceptible and frequently wrong when that person lies to me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humble Golf Pro's Perspective on Feminism
Molly
I take it you're a feminist.
Roy
I've been called many things, never been saddled with that one.
Molly
You might try being saddled sometime. Smell of leather, sting of a whip.
Roy
I'm just a humble golf pro, can I help you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Enduring Mental Struggles and Challenges
Romeo Posar
You're a head case. You always have been, always will be.
[to Roy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value Beyond Competition in Golf
Roy McAvoy
That's because you think of it as transportation, Boone. Think of it as bragging rights. Think of yourself sitting around the bar, crowing to your cronies about the Cadillac you won from me. They'll forget all about the Winnebago you lost to me.
[to Boone, who doesn't want to wager against Roy's car]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
One Rule Against Bad Bets
Romeo Posar
Look, boss, I only got one rule. And that's never bet money that you don't have on a dog race with an ex-girlfriend who happens to be a stripper.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Determination to Qualify and Defy Expectations
Roy McAvoy
I'm going to qualify for the U.S. Open and kick your boyfriend's ass. Whatever you think of me, you should know he hates old people, children, and dogs.
[to Molly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Attraction in Obnoxious Behavior
Dr. Molly Griswold
I find him... mildly attractive when he's obnoxious and arrogant like this.
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Embrace challenges or don't engage at all
Roy McAvoy
Well, what the hell? You ride her until she bucks you or don't ride at all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Inner Child Reflection in Tin Cup
Roy McAvoy
Does my inner child need a spanking?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration in Unheard Advice
Romeo Posar
You won't listen to me, will you? Even when I'm trying to help you, man. After all these years you think I'm full of shit?
[to Roy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Motivation Behind Taking Risks
Roy
You know why I still hit that shot?
Romeo
Cuz that's the only way you could beat Dave Simms.
Roy
No.
Romeo
Cause it was that look in your face...
Roy
I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you. I did not shrink from the challenge, I rose to it. If I had it to do all over again, I'd still hit that shot.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.