Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) - Quotes

Wai Lin: They're looking for us, James.

James Bond: Let's stay under cover.

Elliot Carver: [Bond surreptitiously activates the sea-drill behind them] You're too late again, Mr. Bond. It's a bad habit. There's nothing you can do. The missile is fully programmed, it can't be stopped. In a matter of minutes, my plan will succeed, and thanks largely to your efforts, the British Navy will destroy the evidence. And I'll be out of here, in a Carver News helicopter covering the event. It's going to be a fantastic show!

James Bond: [Carver notices the approaching drill as it breaks through a window; Bond uses the distraction to overpower him; Bond leaves Carver in the drill's path] I may have some breaking news for you, Elliot. You forgot the first rule of mass media, Elliot! Give the people what they want!

Carver: [realizing; horrified; Carver is killed by the drill] No, no, no! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Elliot Carver: Don't you realise how absurd your position is?!

James Bond: No more absurd than starting a war for ratings!

Carver: [[w:William Randolph Hearst|William Randolph Hearst; [w:Spanish-American War|war] Great men have always manipulated the media to save the world. Look at ], who told his photographers "You provide the pictures, I'll provide the ]". I've just taken it one step further.

Bond: [kills a henchman sneaking up on him] Sorry, I tuned out for a moment, Elliot.

Carver: Touché.

Carver: [explaining his plan; [w:Central Military Commission (China)|Chinese High Command; [w:Nobel Peace Prize|Nobel Peace Prize] What you're about to witness, Miss Lin, is not so much a missile attack, but the launch of a new world order. In precisely five minutes, after your countrymen have attacked the British fleet, I shall retaliate for dear old England by sending this missile in to Beijing, where General Chang has called for an emergency meeting of the ]. Unfortunately, General Chang will be delayed in traffic, arriving just after the missile has killed your leaders, and too late to stop the air force from sinking the entire British fleet, but he will be just in time to take over the government, negotiate a truce and emerge as a world leader, with a ].

Wai-Lin: And what do you get?

Carver: Me? Oh, nothing... just exclusive broadcasting rights in China for the next 100 years.

Gupta: [entering a code and contacting Carver via his walkie-talkie] Ready to rock and ruin.

Carver: [back to Lin] If you'll excuse me, I have something of a deadline to meet. Mr. Gupta?

Bond: [with a radio] Hello, Elliot. Interesting plan. I think I have something that belongs to you.

Carver: So much for German efficiency. Mr. Stamper!

Wai-Lin: It's mostly dull routine, of course, but every now and then you get to sail on a beautiful evening like this. And sometimes work with a decadent agent of a corrupt Western power.

James Bond: And they say communists don't know how to have fun.

Wai-Lin: [[w:Little Red Book|little red book] Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I don't even have a "].

Elliot Carver: [brings up newspaper scans on the large screens covering the wall: European English-language editions of ''Tomorrow'' with one headline CRISIS GROWS and another reading CHINA WARNS OF WAR. sees third news headline THE EMPIRE WILL STRIKE BACK, flanked by UK and Chinese flags] You may have seen the General in the hallway just now but perhaps, with all your jetting around, you've not had a chance to peruse today's headlines. I rather like the last one. It isn't even mine!

James Bond: I never believe what I read in the press anyway.

Carver: Ha! Therein lies your problem, Mr. Bond. You see, we're both men of action, but your era and Miss Lin's is passing. Words are the new weapons, satellites the new artillery.

Bond: And you become the new Supreme Allied... Commander?

Carver: [[Caesar; [w:Legion XIII Gemina|legions; [Napoleon; [w:Grande Armée|his armies; points up; [w:Sermon on the Mount|Sermon on the Mount] Exactly! ] had his ], ] had ], I have my divisions. TV, news, magazines. And by midnight I'll have reached and influenced more people than anyone in the history of this planet, save God Himself. And the best He ever managed was the ].

Bond: You really are quite insane.

Carver: The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

Jack Wade: Yo, Jimbo!

James Bond: Wade? What the hell are you doing here?

Wade: [Leads Bond off the airstrip] Jimbo, you know the world's my office. This way. You know, officially, Uncle Sam's completely neutral in this turkey shoot.

Bond: And unofficially?

Wade: We have no interest in seeing World War III, unless we start it.

James Bond: [she turns around, looks at him, and slaps him] I always wondered how I'd feel if I saw you again. Now I know. Was it something I said?

Paris Carver: How about the words "I'll be right back"?

Elliot Carver: [[w:Bovine spongiform encephalopathy|mad cow disease] Anyway, there's absolutely no truth in this malicious rumour that I started running ] stories simply because Sir Angus Black, the great British beef baron, lost £10,000 to me in a game of poker and refused to pay up. Moreover, there's even less truth in the rumour I took a hundred million francs from the French to keep the stories running for another year.

Usherette: Excuse me, Mr. Carver.

Carver: Yes.

Usherette: This is the new banker, Mr?

James Bond: Bond. James Bond.

Carver: Another new banker. I seem to collect them. Tell me, Mr. Bond how's the market reacting to the crisis?

Bond: Well, currencies are off. Your stock is soaring.

Q: [Disguised as a rental car agent] If you'll just sign here, Mr. Bond. It's the insurance damage waiver for your beautiful new car. Will you need collision coverage?

James Bond: Yes.

Q: Fire?

Bond: Probably.

Q: Property destruction?

Bond: Definitely.

Q: Personal injury?

Bond: Well, I hope not, but accidents do happen.

Q: And they frequently do with you.

Bond: Well, that takes care of the normal wear-and-tear. Do I need any other protection?

Q: Only from me, 007. Unless you bring back that car back in pristine order.

James Bond: There is one strange thing. When I called our contact in Saigon, he said the Vietnamese only found the bodies of our sailors three hours ago.

Charles Robinson: How did they get the paper out so fast?

James Bond: Somebody at Tomorrow knew before the Vietnamese government did.

M: How much do you know about Elliot Carver, 007?

James Bond: Worldwide media baron. Able to topple governments with a single broadcast. Carver owns that newspaper, Tomorrow.

M: [hands Bond a document containing his mission] I didn't want to discuss this in front of the Minister, but that mysterious signal came from one of Carver's satellites. The PM would have my head if he knew we were investigating him. I'm sending you to Hamburg, 007. We've arranged for you to be invited tonight to a party at Carver's media centre.

Charles Robinson: They're celebrating the launch of a new satellite, because now he has the ability to reach every human being on Earth.

M: Except the Chinese, who've refused broadcast rights.

Moneypenny: [rolls down her window and displays documents] James, your ticket, cover story and rental car reservation. Sign here, please.

M: [as Bond signs one of the documents] I believe you once had a relationship with Carver's wife, Paris?

James Bond: That was a long time ago, M. Before she was married. I didn't realise it was public knowledge.

Moneypenny: Queen and country, James.

M: Your job is to find out whether it was Carver or someone in his organisation who sent that ship off course and why. Use your relationship with Mrs. Carver if necessary.

James Bond: I doubt if she'll remember me.

M: Remind her. Then pump her for information.

Moneypenny: You'll just have to decide how much pumping is needed, James.

James Bond: If only that were true of you and I, Moneypenny.

Admiral Roebuck: That's preposterous! We know exactly where that ship was positioned! The GPS system–Global Positioning Satellites–do not lie!

M: Yes, but our Singapore station picked up a mysterious signal - on the GPS frequency at the time of the attack. It could have sent that ship off course.

Roebuck: I have a missing British frigate-

M: I'm aware of that!

Roebuck: And instead of decisive action, all you want to do is-

M: My goal is to prevent World War III, Admiral, and I don't think sending an armada into the recovery area is the best way to do it.

Defense Minister: Where exactly did this mysterious GPS signal come from?

M: We're still investigating.

Roebuck: Investigating". With all due respect, M, sometimes I don't think you have the balls for this job!

M: Perhaps. But the advantage is, I don't have to think with them all the time.

Defense Minister: That's enough. Now where do we stand?

Roebuck: It was an unprovoked attack held in international waters. We send in the fleet for recovery and prepare for full retaliation!

M: Moderation. We investigate and stop short of sending the entire British Navy within 10 minutes of the world's largest air force.

Defense Minister: When will our ships be in position?

Roebuck: 48 hours.

Defense Minister: Christ. The press are already screaming for blood; the last thing we want to do is escalate the situation.

James Bond: [arrives with a copy of the'' Tomorrow ''newspaper] I'm afraid it may be too late to worry about that.

Defense Minister: [reads the paper] Seventeen British sailors murdered"?! "According to Vietnamese officials who recovered the bodies, the victims were riddled with the same ammunition used by the Chinese Air Force.

M: Did you leak this?

Roebuck: No! This is the first I've heard of it.

Defense Minister: Well, this settles it: We send in the fleet. M, you have 48 hours to investigate.

Elliot Carver: Mr. Wallace, call the President. Tell him if he doesn't sign the bill lowering the cable rates, we will release the video of him with the cheerleader in the Chicago motel room.

Mr. Wallace: Inspired, sir.

Carver: And after he signs the bill, release the tape anyway.

Mr. Wallace: Consider him slimed.

James Bond: [knocking a Carver henchman to his demise in a newspaper printing machine] They'll print anything these days.

James Bond: [after ejecting an assassin in the back seat of the jet he is flying into another jet, resulting in the other jet's destruction, along with both pilots] Backseat driver.