26 quotes
Valuable Shoes and Cultural Awareness
Toby
And these shoes. Three dollars, a dollar fifty each. You know how much these things are worth in Japan?
Bree Osbourne
Three dollars?
Toby
Like 500 dollars. Japanese people kill for old Nikes.
Bree Osbourne
Then you probably should avoid wearing them in Japan.
Toby
Yeah, I'd probably be, like, disemboweled by a ninja.
Bree Osbourne
You don't have to say "like". "Probably disemboweled by a ninja" is sufficient. And please don't put your feet up on the dashboard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Inner Worth Amidst Change
Bree Osbourne
My body may be a work in progress, but there's nothing wrong with my soul.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity and Belonging in a Complex World
Bree Osbourne
I'm from the Church of the Potential Father
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Unexpected Situations
Calvin
That'll put hair on your chest.
[''When Bree coughs after drinking [[w:mescal|mescal]
Bree Osbourne
Hope not.
[''Clasps hands as if praying'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encouraging Healthy Eating Habits
Bree Osbourne
Eat your vegetables
Bree Osbourne
And might wanna use a fork. Just an idea.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of Frustration and Surprise
Bree Osbourne
Shit! I mean, darn! I mean, shit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Identity and Practical Choices
Toby
How come an Indian wears a cowboy hat?
Calvin
Well, I guess it's because it keeps the sun out of my eyes better than a head band and a couple of eagle feathers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics and Material Comforts
Toby
Your parents house is a lot nicer.
Bree Osbourne
My parents house comes with my parents.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Bree's Response to Church Inquiry
Bree Osbourne
* To Toby when he asks what church she's from
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics and Legal Complications
Bree Osbourne
Mr. Schupak. Ms. Schupak. I mean, Ms. Osbourne. I changed it.
Police Sergeant
Can I ask what your relationship is to the prisoner?
Bree Osbourne
Allegedly, I'm his... allegedly, he's my son.
Police Sergeant
This is a new one. According to this, he shoplifted a frog. Plus we have testimony that he was in possession of a small amount of a suspicious-looking white powder, although emergency services was unable to recover the evidence.
Bree Osbourne
Drugs? Is he an addict?
Police Sergeant
Most of em are.
Bree Osbourne
Most of whom are?
Police Sergeant
Are you aware that your son's been hustling on the streets working as a prostitute?
Bree Osbourne
How much is the bail?
Police Sergeant
Bail's set at one dollar.
Bree Osbourne
I can't possibly afford... one dollar?
Police Sergeant
Sabrina Claire Osbourne? Meet Toby Wilkins.
Bree Osbourne
Uh... my friends call me Bree.
Toby
]?
[[w:Reformed Christianity|Jesus the reformer]
Police Sergeant
That's one of these churches ].
[[w:Missionary|that sends missionaries out to guide street people back to God]
Bree Osbourne
No. I'm... from the church of the potential father. I am a pilgrim I am a stranger travelin through.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seatbelt Safety in a Conversation
Bree Osbourne
Fasten your seatbelt.
Toby
I don't like wearing them.
Bree Osbourne
Well I don't like the idea of seeing your internal organs splattered all over the dashboard if we get into a wreck, God forbid, so put it on.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Life Experiences in New Mexico
Bree
Have you lived all your life in New Mexico?
Calvin
Not yet...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Relative Beauty
Toby
Beauty is relative.
Bree Osbourne
Not my relatives.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Identity and Family Dynamics
Elizabeth Osbourne
Look at your life. You've never been able to stick to a decision. I mean, 10 years of college and not a single degree. How do you know you won't change your mind about this, too?
Bree Osbourne
Because I know.
Elizabeth Osbourne
Don't do this awful thing to yourself, please. I miss my son.
Bree Osbourne
Mom, you never had a son.
Elizabeth Osbourne
How can you say such a thing?
[''Crying'']
Bree Osbourne
Now you know how I felt when you hired those private detectives.
Elizabeth Osbourne
We only tried to do the best for you.
Bree Osbourne
Is that why you tried to have me committed?
Elizabeth Osbourne
You tried to kill yourself!
[''Shouting'']
Bree Osbourne
Because you tried to have me committed!
Elizabeth Osbourne
I don't know why you have to be so emotional.
Bree Osbourne
I am not emotional! God, my cycle's all out of whack.
[''Shouting''; ''Normally'']
Elizabeth Osbourne
You don't have cycles!
Bree Osbourne
Hormones are hormones. Yours and mine just happen to come in purple little pills.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Language and Frustration Over Cigarettes
Toby
I'm out of cigarettes.
Bree Osbourne
].
[[w:Glossary of French words and expressions in English#Q|Quel dommage]
Toby
What's "quel dommage" mean?
Bree Osbourne
It means you're not getting any cigarettes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity and Assurance Among Family Members
Murray Osbourne
Are you sure you're all right, Stanley?
Elizabeth Osbourne
Fabulous. Never been better.
Murray Osbourne
Stanley...
Bree Osbourne
Bree. Sabrina Claire Osbourne.
Murray Osbourne
Look, we're gonna need more time with that. Your mother and I both love you-- But we don't respect you.
Elizabeth Osbourne
I'll never understand why you're doing this to me.
Bree Osbourne
I'm not doing anything to you. I'm gender dysphoric. It's a genetic condition.
Elizabeth Osbourne
Don't try to blame your father and me for this. You shouldn't use so much ]. Are you trying to give yourself a heart attack? Let me do that! You know what I see when l look at you? I see a lost soul crying out for help. This would never have happened if you had only come to church when you were little, instead of going off to that synagogue of your father's.
[''Referring to Bree's sandwich construction''; [w:mayonnaise|mayonnaise]
Sydney
Mom, Dad, there's this scruffy looking kid outside. Holy shit!
[''Appears''; ''Observes Bree'']
Elizabeth Osbourne
Language, Sydney!
Sydney
I don't fuckin believe it! Stanley!
Bree Osbourne
Bree. Bree.
Sydney
Well, Bree, I was hopin you'd show up one of these days, take some of the heat off me.
Bree Osbourne
It's nice to see you, too.
Sydney
If that kid out there's your boyfriend, I'm gonna slit my wrists. I need to talk to you in private. Oh, my God. He is! You lucky son of a- I mean, you lucky bitch!
Elizabeth Osbourne
Your boyfriend?! That filthy teenage juvenile delinquent who came to the door a second ago is your boyfriend?
Bree Osbourne
He happens to be a clean, healthy and respectable young man.
Elizabeth Osbourne
I don't want to hear any more about it. How old is he?
Bree Osbourne
17.
Elizabeth Osbourne
Oh, my God, Murray, he's underage!
Bree Osbourne
Mom, he's my son.
Sydney
You're shittin me!
Bree Osbourne
Remember Emma Wilkins?
Sydney
What are you saying... is Emma here, too?
Bree Osbourne
She killed herself.
Sydney
]! ]!
[[w:Jesus H. Christ|Jesus; [w:Evil eye#In Judaism|Kinehora]
Elizabeth Osbourne
Are you trying to tell me that that boy who came to the door...
Bree Osbourne
He's your grandson.
Elizabeth Osbourne
My grandson. My grandson. Oh, dear God.
Bree Osbourne
He doesn't know anything, and I don't want him to.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Symbolism and Relationships
Toby
Did you know that ] is gay?
[[The Lord of the Rings]
Bree Osbourne
I beg your pardon.
Toby
There's ], right? And it points right at ], and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Frodo have to go to this cave and deposit their magic ring into ]. Only at the last minute, Frodo can't perform, so Gollum bites off his finger. Gay.
[[w:Mordor#Barad-dûr|this big, black tower; [w:Sauron#Eye of Sauron|this huge burning vagina thing; [w:Mordor#Mount Doom|this hot, steaming lava pit]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Journey of Identity and Transformation
Bree Osbourne
Jesus made me this way so I could suffer and be reborn the way he wanted me!
Toby
You're gonna ] for Jesus?
[[w:Penis removal|cut your dick off]
Bree Osbourne
They don't "cut it off!" It just becomes an innie instead of an outtie.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Distinction in Gender Experience
Bree Osbourne
I'm a transsexual - not a transvestite.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unwanted Fashion Choices at Family Dinner
Bree Osbourne
* After her sister picks a garish outfit for Bree to wear to a family dinner
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Family Revelation in Conversation
Bree Osbourne
I got a phone call last night from a juvenile inmate of the New York prison system. He claimed to be Stanley's son.
Margaret
No third-person.
[''Brief pause'']
Bree Osbourne
My son.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Rejection and a Celebration of Freedom
Toby
I'm not gonna marry you!
Bree
Glory Hallelujah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Extremes of Veganism
Hipi hitch-hiker
I'm a level 4 vegan. I don't eat anything that casts a shadow. (A joke, originally made in ])
[[w:The Simpsons|The Simpsons]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discomfort with Identity and Body Image
Dr. Spikowsky
How do you feel about your penis?
Bree Osbourne
It disgusts me. I don't even like looking at it.
Dr. Spikowsky
What about friends?
Bree Osbourne
They don't like it either.
Dr. Spikowsky
No, I mean do you have the support of friends?
Bree Osbourne
I'm very close to my therapist.
Dr. Spikowsky
What about your family?
Bree Osbourne
My family is dead.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request for Help in Sex Education
Wayne
School's gonna be closing in about fifteen minutes.
Toby
Wayne, this is really hard. Do you think you could give me a hand?
Wayne
Sure - what subject?
Toby
Sex education.
[''Stands, pushes down his surfer shorts'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Respect in Family Relationships
Murray Osbourne
Your mother and I both love you.
Elizabeth Osbourne
But we don't respect you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.