Turner & Hooch (1989) - Quotes

Emily: Well, it's a nice night. And I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?

Scott: No, no. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you. And if we're going to walk, I'm just going to like you even more. And then one day, we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while. But-but then one day, *bang* you're going to call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're going to pull your hair, you're going to scream and you're going to say "You never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night.

Female Cashier: [checking the price] $97.51.

Scott: [holding the squeaky toy] $97.51? Is that pesos? This is for a dog. $97.51? I'm not going to eat this stuff. Did I buy a smoked salmon-$97.51? How much if I take this back? I'd like to talk to Kevin. Could you call him, please? KEVIN?!?!

Scott: [finding the car seat being ripped by Hooch] Oh, no, no, no, no. You're eating the car! Don't eat the car! NOT THE CAR! Oh, what am I yelling at you for? You're a dog.

Scott: [Hooch won't stop barking at night; angrily shouting; goes back into the house; Hooch won't stop barking, and howls.] What?! What is it?! What?! WHAT?! Are you-- If you're hungry, finish the hamburgers! You-Eat the buns! Eat the buns! You're not thirsty-You know, you're not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple. What is it?! What am I supposed to do, make you a Margarita?! SHUT UP! GOD! SHUT UP! This has been going on for 2 1/2 hours! BE QUIET! A-Alright. Alright, alright. You tell me what I'm supposed to do. You tell me what I am supposed to do. What am I supposed to do? You tell me. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do, Hooch? Am I supposed to stand out on the porch all night long?!

Neighbor: Give him a Valium, Turner! Take one yourself!

Scott: [to Hooch; Hooch goes inside the house, knocking the door shut; Scott mumbles and tries to open the door, but it's locked; tries to open another door; holds up a trash can and slams it down; goes to the garage window, but Hooch blocks his way while barking; Hooch growls; Hooch barks twice; Hooch backs off; mouths; Hooch sits down; getting inside the garage, cracks his bones, closes the window, and sighs; Hooch whines lowly; turning on the kitchen light; turns off; turns on the living room light; turns on his bedroom light; turns off; goes into the indoor porch, and turns on the light; grabs the towel; Hooch shakes his fur, leaving drool all over the place; placing the towel on the floor; closes the door] Hey, shut up! I'm a policeman! You want your car towed? Man, I hate you. OH... NOOOOOO! AAH! YOU- AW, YA STUPID DOG! AH, YA STUPID DOG! Oh, you wanna chew my head off?! Yeah?! Go ahead! You'll be trapped inside and you'll starve to death! That is, if they don't find my body first and then shoot you! You're in my house! Back off! I'm comin in! Back off, Hooch! Back off. Back. All right. If we're gonna get along, we're gonna have to come to a certain understanding. All right, these are the simple rules. No barking, no growling, you will not lift you leg to anything in this house. This is not your room. No slobbering, no chewing, you will wear a flea collar. This is not your room. No begging for food, no sniffing off crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room. This is your room. The rest of the house is mine, and when I come back into my house, I like to find everything where I put it. Everything in its place. Now, you don't touch my stuff. And I certainly won't touch any of yours. Well, this is the room to do that. This is your bed. You follow these very simple rules...and shut up, we'll get along fine.

Emily: What are you doing to this dog?!

Scott: Just taking him for a walk!

Emily: He's bleeding! My God! How long has he been bleeding?!

Scott: [to Hooch] Not long enough! You ! I'll kill ya!

Emily: [taking Hooch's leash] Hey. Now, I have a front door, you know.

Scott: I'll shoot you, Hooch! I'll shoot you, Hooch!

Emily: [while bringing Hooch downstairs] Well, you stay there. You just stay right there.

Scott: Fix him up so I can shoot him!

Amos: Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're okay, aren't you?

Scott: Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee. BUT NOW, I'M AWAKE!