Two for the Road (1967) - Quotes

Conflict Between Joanna and Mark Wallace

Mark Wallace: Bitch.

Joanna Wallace: Bastard.

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Perceptions of American Women in Relationships

Mark Wallace: I always thought American women would be different. I thought in America they'd broken the inhibitions barrier and it was all one long sex feast.

Joanna Wallace: No?

Mark Wallace: But no. But no. The nicely brought-up American girl plays cool and modern. but what she wants - is what her grandmother wanted: Your head stuffed and mounted on the living room wall.

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Communication in Relationships and Dining Experiences

Joanna Wallace: What sort of people sit in a restaurant and don't even try to talk to each other?

Mark Wallace: Married people.

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Conflicting Desires in Relationships

Joanna Wallace: What do people have rows about, dear?

Mark Wallace: Money, sex. Sex, money. He wants, she doesn't want.

Joanna Wallace: She wants, he doesn't want.

Mark Wallace: He thinks that the counter is all in the wrong place.

Joanna Wallace: Counter and display cases. It's very funny.

Mark Wallace: Yeah, that's marriage for you.

Joanna Wallace: That's marriage for them.

Mark Wallace: That's marriage. Full stop.

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Memory and Beauty in Relationships

Joanna Wallace: [upset] You just want me to become a beautiful memory, the sooner the better!

Mark Wallace: Who said anything about beautiful?

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Exploring Control and Independence in Relationships

Mark Wallace: [to Joanna] Come on, baby.

Howard Manchester: Well that, if I may say so, is a very revealing usage. Calling her baby, at this point, shows you're prepared to do her thinking and her deciding for her. Now I warn you solemnly, Marcus. You're denying Joanna the right to be her own paradoxical self.

Mark Wallace: Howard, you're the largest pocket of untapped natural gas known to man.

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Changing Agreements in Marriage

Mark Wallace: We agreed before we were married we weren't gonna have any children.

Joanna Wallace: And before we were married we didn't.

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Conflict in Expectations and Desire

Mark Wallace: Why is it whenever you give a woman everything she wants, you get so bloody minded.

Joanna Wallace: You don't give me everything I want, you give me everything you want to give me.

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A Brief Reunion Between Two Characters

Mark Wallace: [Joanna has returned from an affair] Hello.

Joanna Wallace: Hello.

Mark Wallace: Well?

Joanna Wallace: [softly, on the verge of tears] I'm back.

Mark Wallace: Enjoy yourself?

Joanna Wallace: [nods] Yes, thank you. But I missed you.

Joanna Wallace: I did.

Mark Wallace: Why?

Joanna Wallace: Because he's so serious.

Mark Wallace: I thought you liked people who were serious.

Joanna Wallace: But he's so serious.

Mark Wallace: Well, I'd better make some funny faces...

Joanna Wallace: [softly] You don't need to make funny faces.

Joanna Wallace: Mark, I'm back!

Mark Wallace: You humiliate me. You humiliate me... and then you come back.

Joanna Wallace: [nods tearfully] That's right.

Mark Wallace: Thank God!

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Conversation About Virginity and Experience

Mark Wallace: Are you a virgin?

Mark Wallace: Thought you were. Can always tell.

Joanna Wallace: Congratulations.

Mark Wallace: I was two years at the University of Chicago.

Joanna Wallace: Studying virgin detection?

Mark Wallace: Only at night school.

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Silence Between Married Couples

Mark Wallace: What kind of people just sit like that without a word to say to each other?

Joanna Wallace: Married people?

Communication Breakdown in Relationships

Mark Wallace: Just wish that you'd stop sniping.

Joanna Wallace: I haven't said a word!

Mark Wallace: Just because you use a silencer doesn't mean you're not a sniper.

The Humorous Side of Marriage Dynamics

Mark Wallace: Do you know what marriage is?

Joanna Wallace: Hmm, you tell me, and see if we're thinking of the same thing.

Mark Wallace: Marriage is when the woman tells the man to take off his pajamas... and it's because, she wants to send them to the laundry.

Reflections on Marriage and Happiness

Joanna Wallace: [referring to a pair of newlyweds seated in the back of a Rolls Royce] They don't look very happy.

Mark Wallace: Why should they? They just got married.

Skepticism Towards Commitment in Relationships

Mark Wallace: It's not that I have anything against sex. It's contracts I don't go for. Promise of long service and good conduct.

Labels and Limitations in Relationships

Mark Wallace: The trouble with women is they try to label you - put you in a pigeonhole. What they don't realize is - the only thing that fits in a pigeonhole is a pigeon.