22 quotes
Christmas Spirit Endures Despite Flight Cancellations
Taglines
All flights cancelled. Christmas isn't!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Response to a Simple Question
Charlie
So, we're going to the lodge?
Porter
I think I have an answer to your question; Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Skeptical Take on Holiday Serenity
Taglines
Silent night... Yeah, right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggle Between Childhood and Growing Up
Donna
Mom! I'm eleven! I'll look like a loser getting my picture with Santa!
Mrs. Malone
You'll look like someone who's grounded if you don't. Now, go sit on Santa's lap. Go!
Donna
Hey! Hands off, fat boy!
[hits the hand away; punches Santa in the gut and walks away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Compliment from Charlie Goldfinch
Charlie Goldfinch
Wow! Man, you're so hot!
[to Donna after she kisses him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicted Feelings About a Basic Need
Charlie Goldfinch
This goes against everything I believe in, but I gotta pee!
[Running out of the UM room]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Childhood Food Restrictions and Indulgences
Spencer
Nachos! My mom never lets me eat those, you know, so an order of those. She's banned all sodas from the house, so extra-, extra-, extra-large root beer.
Restaurant Hostess
My mom never let me eat mozzarella sticks.
Spencer
Mine either. Two orders. On to dessert, huh?
Restaurant Hostess
You don't have a tapeworm, do you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defining Dorkiness in Friendship
Grace
Once a dork, always a dork.
[putting her glasses on]
Spencer
You are so not a dork.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Airport Pickup Challenge
Sam
Sam Davenport, Clean Earth Society.
[answering the telephone]
Valerie
Hi, Sam. It's Val...
[over the phone]
Sam
Oh hey, Val! Yeah, I'm heading to the airport now to pick up the kids.
[checks his wristwatch]
Valerie
Well, you're not going to be able to pick up the kids!
Sam
What?
Valerie
Because they're not gonna be able to fly!
Sam
Val! Val! Calm down
Valerie
There is all this snow, and there's a blizzard-
Sam
It's not even snowing out.
Valerie
Yes it is!
Sam
Oh.
[embarrassed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About College Acceptance and Reputation
Charlie Goldfinch
Oh man, Harvard's never gonna accept me with a police record! And I am not going to community college!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Witty Banter Among Airport Misfits
Donna
Watch it, Dr. Evil.
Porter
Oh no, did I offend you? Well, I don't know what else to call someone who commits grand theft auto, reckless driving and destruction of property all in the course of ten minutes.
Donna
Someone cooler than you'll ever be.
Porter
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! Whoo! That's fantastic! I didn't know we had ] in the house! And what about a young man who orders the heart attack special and can't pay for it? Or a girl who exfoliates herself all over the airport lounge? Then, the abominable snowman who transforms the Emergency Equipment Center into his own private amusement park and then blames it on Aquaman? Aren't you a little too old to be playing with dolls? I mean, what are you, like, forty?
[[w:Ellen Degeneres|Ellen DeGeneres; to Spencer; to Grace; to Beef]
Zach
Actually, Beef is twelve, sir.
Porter
Good Lord. And Charlie Goldfinch, my most frequent underage flyer, and formerly model passenger. Karaoke, son? Was it worth it?
Charlie
I had a song in my heart. Oh my gosh, I'm a juvie.
[Mr. Porter gives him a look]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discomfort in Unfamiliar Surroundings
Donna
So where are we staying?
Porter
What's wrong with right here?
Grace
It smells like a horse died in it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Frustration Over Parental Support
Katherine
We should call Mom.
Spencer
Yeah, well, she wouldn't drive two-thousand miles to pick us up.
[dodges a candy wrapper]
Katherine
Then let's call Dad.
Spencer
Oh, yeah. He wouldn't drive four feet to get us!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Snowbound Kids Seek Help at Airport
Taglines
Six kids, snowbound in an airport on Christmas Eve, without supervision. Someone please call security.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christmas Preparations and Lighthearted Concerns
Judie
Hmm, I think bought defective M&M's. You know, some of these are W's. Oh c'mon, Val, lighten up! It's Christmas. I know that you're worried about the kids; they're gonna be fine. It's Christmas eve, we're gonna do more decorating...
[digging through a bowl of candy; Valerie looks depressed]
Valerie
No, no, Judie. You don't have any more decorating to do.
Judie
Yes, I have to finish. I have six more boxes of lights in the garage!
Valerie
This is creepy...
Judie
You're just poisonous, aren't you? Thanks for being such a great sister.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unlikely Family Among Unaccompanied Minors
Taglines
Six unaccompanied minors will become one unbelievable family.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Accusation in Winter Chaos
Head Guard Hoffman
Sweet Jehoshaphat!
[Seeing the mess in the Emergency Equipment Storage]
Beef
He did it!
[points to his Aquaman action figure]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chaos Among Unaccompanied Minors During Storm
Spencer
Oh man, it's like "Lord of the Flies" in here.
[Upon seeing the chaotic UM room]
Flight Attendant #1
Help us!
Flight Attendant #2
Zach, we're flight attendants, not riot police - You've got to find someone else to take over!
Zach
You guys, there is no one else. The storm is huge! Just think of it like being in the air, okay? With a normal passenger load, and secure all exit, and, y'know, discourage anybody from going to the restroom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Young Traveler Asserts Independence in Restaurant
Spencer
I would like a table for one in the "no little sisters" section, please.
Restaurant Hostess
Aren't you a little young to be flying by yourself?
Spencer
Not at all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Santa's Navigation Skills
Spencer
Oh no, did you bite your tongue again?
Katherine
When I wrote to Santa, I forgot to tell him that we were gonna be at Dad's house, and it's all the way in Pennsylvania! How is he gonna find us now?
Spencer
Oh, you mean that Santa guy that you're scared of? Him? I mean, he's not even gonna... He'll find you. The Tooth fairy gave him directions. She works with .
[Katherine looks worried. Spencer sighs; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Aerospace_Defense_Command NORAD]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reluctance Towards Santa and Holiday Traditions
Katherine
I don't wanna see Santa!
Spencer
Y'know what, then let's just go, okay?
Katherine
I don't wanna go!
Spencer
Then get on Santa's lap.
Katherine
I DON'T WANNA!
[screaming]
Mall Santa
Ho Ho Ho. Somebody's not being a very good girl. I might have to put coal in your stocking this year.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disappointment Over Unfinished Mozzarella Sticks
Restaurant Hostess
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. He didn't even eat the mozzarella sticks.
[returns to find Spencer gone and the bill has been stolen; sees his IOU note, which reads: "IOU $74.38. Please e-mail my dad at Davenport.sam@gmail.com for payment. P.S. The mozzarella sticks are for you."]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.