Cousin Eddie's Love for Uban Coffee
Cousin Eddie:
Ahh Uban Coffee you know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything, ice cream, mashed potatoes or just eat it straight out of the can for a quick pick me up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie’s Unconventional Kidney Sale
Cousin Eddie:
Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie Calls for a Round-Up
Cousin Eddie:
Hey, kids. Round-up time!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie's Impressive Tomato Harvest
Cousin Eddie:
My garden's spittin out 50-lb tomatoes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie on Family Traits
Cousin Eddie:
Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie's Devotion to Family
Cousin Eddie: [to Wayne Newton]
Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie's Inquiry About Swimming with Dolphins
Cousin Eddie:
Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Attention from Wayne Newton
Rusty Griswold:
Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin on mom!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vision Without Lenses in Vegas
Rusty Griswold:
Security: "No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?" Rusty: "No sir, I do not require them.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Cost of Having an Entourage
Rusty Griswold:
It's expensive having an entourage.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Remark About Monkeys
Rusty Griswold:
So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rusty's Surprising Compliment About His Sister
Rusty Griswold:
Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Repeated Success at the Casino
Rusty Griswold:
I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Bedtime Fun
Rusty Griswold:
Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ellen's Uncertainty About Commitment
Ellen Griswold:
I've got news for you Clark. I haven't said yes, yet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Garage Space and Horse Dilemmas
Ellen Griswold:
Well, I don't know what you would do with your horses, because, Clark likes to use the garage for the cars and the lawn mower.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Appreciation for Kitchenette Design
Ellen Griswold:
I love what you've done with the kitchenette.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Message for Clark Griswold
Ellen Griswold:
You find the Clark Griswold that I married and you tell him that I'm at the Mirage!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Take on Unfortunate Situations
Ellen Griswold:
Could be worse...you could be pregnant again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Trip Reminder from Ellen Griswold
Ellen Griswold:
Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ellen's Regret After Bathroom Incident
Ellen Griswold:
(after an attempt to have sex with Clark in the bathroom goes horribly wrong) I'll never fly again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of a Travel Mishap
Clark Griswold:
My pen burst. (after hotel employee notices Clark's arm is blue from falling in the plane's toilet)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clark Griswold's Take on Keno
Clark Griswold:
Oh, Keno! This is easy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Knowledge and Mulch
Clark Griswold:
...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowledge, and a mulch...
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Cousin Advice from Clark Griswold
Clark Griswold:
Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Rus.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Confusion in Vegas Vacation
Clark Griswold:
His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clark's Excitement Over Unique Casino Games
Clark Griswold:
Eddie, This is great! They don't have any of these games at the Mirage.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clark's Excitement Over FDA Approval
Clark Griswold:
It's my long-life food preservative. The FDA finally approved it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Anticipating a Big Win
Clark Griswold:
Hard six coming out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clark's Nonchalant Comment on a Birthmark
Clark Griswold:
That's nothing, it's a...birthmark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
