30 quotes
Identity Confusion in Vegas Vacation
Clark Griswold
His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Garage Space and Horse Dilemmas
Ellen Griswold
Well, I don't know what you would do with your horses, because, Clark likes to use the garage for the cars and the lawn mower.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Appreciation for Kitchenette Design
Ellen Griswold
I love what you've done with the kitchenette.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ellen's Uncertainty About Commitment
Ellen Griswold
I've got news for you Clark. I haven't said yes, yet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie’s Unconventional Kidney Sale
Cousin Eddie
Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Remark About Monkeys
Rusty Griswold
So I says to him, I said, "Get your own monkey!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clark Griswold's Take on Keno
Clark Griswold
Oh, Keno! This is easy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Trip Reminder from Ellen Griswold
Ellen Griswold
Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family.
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Clark's Excitement Over Unique Casino Games
Clark Griswold
Eddie, This is great! They don't have any of these games at the Mirage.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Anticipating a Big Win
Clark Griswold
Hard six coming out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rusty's Surprising Compliment About His Sister
Rusty Griswold
Who would have thought my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?
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Cousin Eddie's Devotion to Family
Cousin Eddie
Do you need a bodyguard? I'd die for you!
[to Wayne Newton]
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Cousin Eddie's Love for Uban Coffee
Cousin Eddie
Ahh Uban Coffee you know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything, ice cream, mashed potatoes or just eat it straight out of the can for a quick pick me up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Ellen's Regret After Bathroom Incident
Ellen Griswold
(after an attempt to have sex with Clark in the bathroom goes horribly wrong) I'll never fly again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Repeated Success at the Casino
Rusty Griswold
I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Bedtime Fun
Rusty Griswold
Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie's Impressive Tomato Harvest
Cousin Eddie
My garden's spittin out 50-lb tomatoes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lighthearted Take on Unfortunate Situations
Ellen Griswold
Could be worse...you could be pregnant again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie's Inquiry About Swimming with Dolphins
Cousin Eddie
Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Attention from Wayne Newton
Rusty Griswold
Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin on mom!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Clark's Nonchalant Comment on a Birthmark
Clark Griswold
That's nothing, it's a...birthmark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie Calls for a Round-Up
Cousin Eddie
Hey, kids. Round-up time!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cousin Eddie on Family Traits
Cousin Eddie
Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.
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A Message for Clark Griswold
Ellen Griswold
You find the Clark Griswold that I married and you tell him that I'm at the Mirage!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of a Travel Mishap
Clark Griswold
My pen burst. (after hotel employee notices Clark's arm is blue from falling in the plane's toilet)
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Clark's Excitement Over FDA Approval
Clark Griswold
It's my long-life food preservative. The FDA finally approved it!
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Cousin Advice from Clark Griswold
Clark Griswold
Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Rus.
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Vision Without Lenses in Vegas
Rusty Griswold
Security: "No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?" Rusty: "No sir, I do not require them.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Cost of Having an Entourage
Rusty Griswold
It's expensive having an entourage.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Knowledge and Mulch
Clark Griswold
...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowledge, and a mulch...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.