Waking Ned (1999) - Quotes

The Complex Emotions of Winning the Lottery

Michael O'Sullivan:: [pretending to be Ned Devine] A big win is it?

Jim Kelly:: Ned, you've won six million eight hundred and ninety four thousand, six hundred and twenty pounds. How does that make you feel? Take your time now, there's no rush. It's a great shock to the system I know. Just give yourself a moment to get used to the idea. So what do you think, Ned? Well it was a roll over week. The jackpot wasn't won last week, so they carried it over to this week, and you were the only winner. Were you aware of that, Ned?

Michael O'Sullivan:: No.

Jim Kelly: But I must give you fair warning Ned. There can be times when winning the lottery can be just as bad as losing the lottery.

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Missing Chicken Leg Sparks Suspicion

Annie O'Shea:: I have a chicken leg left over.

Jackie O'Shea:: I'm full Annie. Put it in the fridge for dinner tomorrow.

Annie O'Shea:: Jackie. I counted those joints precisely. If there's a leg left over, it means someone was missing.

Jackie O'Shea:: Winner smells a rat? Where's my list? Ned Devine. Ned Devine was missing.

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Truth and Deceit in Conversation

Annie O'Shea:: But he's never told a lie in his life.

Jackie O'Shea:: Well, he's making up for it now.

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Unexpected Outcome of a Lottery Ticket

Jackie O'Shea: Annie, look at this, get in here!

Jackie O'Shea: I did it!

Annie O'Shea: Did you win?

Jackie O'Shea: No.

Annie O'Shea: Then why did you boast that you did it?

Jackie O'Shea: Because I succeeded at getting you to bring me my apple crisp.

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The Importance of Sharing in Waking Ned

Jackie O'Shea: I'm not a great man for telling things the way they are. I mean, I've been known to add a little color to stories and riddles for the benefit of those who will listen. Yet here tonight I can swear that all I've told you is true. The money will be claimed and divided equally between the fifty two of us. Now it was wrong, to think I could claim the money meself. That's not what Ned wants. He wants us to share the winnings. A nest egg for us all. So now if the lotto man comes to the village, you say that Ned Devine is alive and well, and you point your finger to Michael O'Sullivan.

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Regrets of an Unexpected Windfall

Jackie O'Shea: If I'd have known how much was won, I'd never have started in the first place. Oh Lord, this is getting awful serious.

Gift of Soaps for Finn

Jackie O'Shea: And don't take it personally, Finn, but I bought you some expensive, fruity soaps. Take them home, try them out.

Reflections on Friendship and Farewell

Jackie O'Shea: As we look back on the life of... (Lottery man enters funeral parlor)... Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend, but I don't ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said. Maybe to say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew younger. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend.

Unexpected Fortune in a Tragic Discovery

Jackie O'Shea: finding Ned Divine's body, dead, holding the winning lottery ticket. Dear God. You'll be cursing in heaven tonight, Ned Devine.

Fate's Irony in Lottery Win and Loss

Michael O'Sullivan: (talking about the death of Ned Devine, a retired fisherman who died from the shock of winning the lottery) He survived all those storms to be washed away by a few plastic lottery balls.