10 quotes
Laurel and Hardy's Western Adventure Awaits
Taglines
Laurel and Hardy Are Going Way Out West! And Boy, Is the East Glad!
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A Question of Ideas and Acceptance
Stan
Do you mind if I have another idea?
Ollie
If it's anything like the last one, YES!
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The Uniqueness of Creating Something Valuable
Stan
Any bird can build a nest, but it isn't anyone that can lay an egg.
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Secrets of a Gold Mine Revealed
Mickey Finn
I'm Mary's legal guardian. What do you want to see her for?
Ollie
Well, sir, we aren't supposed to talk about that to anyone else.
[smiling and shutting his eyes in his famous charming disarming way]
Stan
Yeah, you see, it's PRIVATE. Her father died and left her a gold mine, and we're not supposed tell it to anyone but her, right Ollie?
Ollie
Now that he's taken you into our CONFIDENCE...You might as well know the rest!
[glaring at Stan]
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A Conversation About Lola's Father
Lola Marcell
Oh, tell me about my dear, dear Daddy! Is it true that he's dead?
Stan
Well, we hope he is. They buried him.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wild West Outlaws: Trouble and Trigger Men
Taglines
They're Wild West Outlaws of Trouble and Trigger Men!
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Confusion Over Identity in Way Out West
Ollie
Did you hear what she said her name was?
[Stan and Ollie stop walking, Ollie does a double take]
Stan
Sure, Mary Roberts.
Ollie
How can she be Mary Roberts when we've just given the deed to Mary Roberts?
Stan
I don't know.
[crushes a cigar butt with his shoe]
Ollie
I smell a rat.
Stan
I smell something too.
[discovers his shoe is smoking from the cigar butt, dunks his feet into the janitor's water pail]
Ollie
Come on.
Ollie
Pardon me, did you ever have a father by the name of Cy Roberts?
Mary Roberts
Why, yes. He left me here with these people years ago when he went prospecting.
Ollie
Well, who's that woman upstairs?
Mary Roberts
That's Lola Marcel, Mr. Finn's wife. She's my legal guardian now.
Stan
Can I speak to you for a minute?
Ollie
Pardon us.
Stan
Yeah, we'll be right back.
Stan
You know what?
Ollie
What?
Stan
I think we've given that deed to the wrong woman. That's the first mistake we've made since that guy sold us the Brooklyn Bridge.
Ollie
Oh, buying that bridge was no mistake. That's gonna be worth a lot of money to us someday.
Stan
Well, maybe you're right. We'd better go and get the deed.
Ollie
Say, maybe they won't give it back to us.
Stan
What do you mean, they won't give it back to us? We'll get that deed, or I'll eat your hat.
Ollie
That's what I call determination.
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A Hat Eating Challenge is Proposed
Stan
Your hat's dry.
Ollie
Oh that reminds me, you made a statement this afternoon.
Stan
Did I?
Ollie
Mmm-hmmm. You said if we didn't get the deed, you'd eat my hat.
Stan
Oh, now you're taking me literally.
Ollie
Nevertheless, I'm going to teach you not to make rash promises.
Ollie
Eat the hat.
Stan
Oh that's silly. Whoever heard of anybody eating a hat?
Ollie
Whoever heard of anybody doing that.
Ollie
Eat the hat!
Stan
I won't do it.
[Gives it back]
Ollie
If you don't eat that hat, I'll tie you to a tree and let the buzzards get you!
[Slams it back in his lap]
Stan
Would you really do that?
Ollie
I certainly would. Eat it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Opportunity Knocks in Unexpected Places
Mickey Finn
Lola, Lola, we've got a fortune right in the palm of our hand!
[enters room]
Lola Marcel
What do you mean?
Mickey Finn
There's a couple of desert rats downstairs looking for Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel
What about it?
Mickey Finn
They've got a deed to a very valuable gold mine left to her by her father, and they're here to deliver it to her in person.
Lola Marcel
Well, ain't that just grand!
Mickey Finn
It would be... if you were Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel
I gotcha, but I'd never get away with it.
Mickey Finn
Sure you would; they've never seen Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel
Then it's a cinch!
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Planning a Scheme in Way Out West
Mickey Finn
And I'll take care of those two bozos and get them out of town.
Lola Marcel
Don't worry, leave everything to me. I've done pretty good up to now, haven't I?
[Stan enters and overhears Lola talking to Mickey]
Stan
You certainly have, I wish you were in my shoes.
Mickey Finn
Eh-hrm, oh how about a drink on the house?
Oliver
That suits me fine.
Stan
How'd you get dressed so quick?
Oliver
None of your business.
Oliver
Goodbye Miss Roberts, and thanks for the use of your boudoir.
Lola Marcel
You're very welcome.
Stan
Goodbye. Now that you've got the mine, I bet you'll be a swell gold-digger.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.