What Happens in Vegas (2008) - Quotes

Defining Moments of Manhood

Jack: What's the one place where you can step up and be a man?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Jack's Clumsiness Leads to Injuries

Dr. Twitchell: Jack what happened to you? (asked after seeing Jack's black eye)

Jack: I fell...and hit my head on the door knob

Dr. Twitchell: You fell?

Jack: Yeah...I fall a lot these days...I'm so clumsy.

Dr. Twitchell: Are you sure no one did this to you?

Jack: I (glances at Joy) I'm suppose to line the hand towels up just so..and I didn't and I'm sorry. And I forgot to put the toilet seat down, and she said "Put it down or I'm going to put you down!!" And... (Joy pulls out cell phone and shows a video of Bear and Hater beating up Jack)

Dr. Twitchell: Can we get back to therapy now?

Jack: Yes...yes we can..

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Humorous Introductions Among Friends

Jack: Jack Fuller. (Introducing himself to Joy's boss)

Richard: Richard Banger.

Jack: Richard Banger?...Dick Banger? You my friend have just supplied us with jokes for the whole weekend...(slight pause)

Richard: Well you must be Jack ...Off...ha ha give it to me baby!!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Negotiating Room Changes with Humor

Joy: (After finding out that they were booked in the same room with Jack and Hater) OK, so we both know how this is going to work. I am going to complain, and you are going to tell me there's nothing you can do about it, when we both know that is a big fat lie. So why don't you go ahead and type in those special codes that you know you are going to type in eventually, and give me two rooms that are so... nice... that it will turn my night right back around. (Smiles)

Hotel Clerk: OK...I'm going to do just what you said because honestly...I'm a little frightened of you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Business and Fun Collide in Vegas

Jack: So why are you here

Joy: Oh you know just living it up...being crazy. What about you?

Jack: Oh I'm here on business...I'm very important in my field...

Joy: Really?

Jack: No..I just got fired.

Joy: I just got dumped.

Jack: Did I mention I got fired by my father?

Joy: Did I mention that I threw my fiance a surprise birthday party and the surprise was he dumped me in front of all our closest friends while they hid in the closets?

Jack: You win.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Questioning the Nature of Planning

Mason: Did you just make a plan to make a plan?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Disparaging Remarks About a Stripper

Hater: Look! Stripper, you are kind of a disgusting skank. (To tipper)

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Character Lacks Their Glasses

Hater: Uh...I, I don't have my glasses...

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Embracing Unconventional Choices and Perspectives

Hater: Lavender. Get on my head!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Nature of a Wily Temptress

Hater: She is a wily temptress...and what do wily temptress do? They tempt you, in a wily temptress way...and then play you.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Self-Reflection on Legal Competence

Hater: They should make a law about what a bad lawyer I am...then again I wouldn't know about it

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Request for a Phone Number

Bear: Now that you aren't married anymore...can I get her number...(pause)..ok maybe later

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Questioning Driving Skills in Vegas

Bear: Do you even know how to drive an automatic?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Tipper's Dislike for a Friend

Tipper: You I don't like and your friend, I want to cut him

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Friend's Inability to Recognize Fun

Tipper: Your friend wouldn't know a good time if it sat on his face

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

An Unexpected Incident with a Purse

Tipper: Like seriously, I like threw up in my own purse.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Revenge with a Punchline

Tipper: They ring the door bell and when he answers they JUNK-punch him right up in his man-business, and while he lying there on the floor writhing in pain asking "Why?", they answer. "YOU know why.." (nods smiling at her plan)

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Taking Yourself Out of the Game

Joy: You took yourself out of the game.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Race Begins Before You're Ready

Joy: And where's that, Jack? The starting line? Cause I got news for you buddy, the gun already went off!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Struggling with unexpected challenges in a bathroom

Joy: I can totally do this! (Gasps after seeing the bathroom) I can't do this.

Embracing Unexpected Moments of Fun

Joy: I'm not usually this much fun!

Empowerment in Rejection and Loss

Joy: To anyone who has ever been dumped and to anyone who has ever been fired...when I say screw you say you...

Marriage and Shared Ownership in Relationships

Joy: What happened to "what's mine is yours baby.." we're married now...remember?

Sharing Coffee After a Wild Night

Jack: (Morning after the drunk wedding) What's mine is yours! Me coffee su coffee, haha...

Appreciation for the Scent of Candles

Jack: (To Doctor Twitchell at councilling) Her candles smell awesome!

A Cautionary Note on Leaving for Work

Jack: (To Joy before she leaves for work) Don't get hit by a bus. (Door closes) Or do. Whatever.

Choosing Happiness Over Unfulfilling Actions

Jack: I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something I know I don't love.

Creating Special Gifts from Unusual Materials

Jack: (To Joy when she sees the bathroom) Don't throw all of that hair away. I'm saving it up to make you something special... like a hat... or a sweater.