7 quotes
Anticipation and Humor in a Late Arrival
Suki Yaki
I'm such a great piece!
Teri Yaki
I wish Phil would get here. It's getting awfully late.
Suki Yaki
It's Phil, bringing the promise of joy and fulfillment in its most primitive form!
[Running to answer a knock at the door]
Teri Yaki
I hope he brought the vibrator.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mustache Threats and Misunderstandings
Wing Fat
Don't tell me what I can do, or I'll have my mustache eat your beard.
Shepard Wong
I didn't order any fumigation! It's Wing Fool, you fat! I mean... it's Wing Fat, you fool!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Imaginary Nations and Their Waiting Lists
High Macha Of Rashpur
Good afternoon. I am the Grand Exalted High Macha of Raspur, a non-existent but real-sounding country.
Phil Moscowitz
Uh-huh.
High Macha Of Rashpur
Yes. We're on a waiting list. As soon as there's an opening on the map, we're next.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humor in Describing Disturbing Traits
Phil Moscowitz
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Eclectic Animal References in a Quirky Outburst
Phil Moscowitz
Saracen pig! Spartan dog! Take this! And this! Roman cow! Russian snake! Spanish fly! Anglo-Saxon Hun!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding about a person's living situation
High Macha Of Rashpur
This is Shepherd Wong's home.
[displaying a printed floor plan]
Phil Moscowitz
He lives in that piece of paper?
High Macha Of Rashpur
No, you idiot. He's got a regular house!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Woody Allen Refuses to Summarize Story
Interviewer
Woody, because the story is a little bit difficult to follow, would you give the audience and myself a brief rundown on what's going on so far?
Woody Allen
No.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.