Wild Wild West Quotes

Artemus Gordon ] by Grant himself] President Grant... Sir, these are perilous times. I was merely demonstrating how someone, using the art of disguise could penetrate into the very bowels of the White House, sir.

Dr. Arliss Loveless Today, I'm proud to be able to sit before y'all and tell you that the wrongs will be righted...the past made present... the United, Divided! Great Britain gets back the 13 original colonies, minus Manhattan. Florida and the Fountain of Youth go back to Spain. Texas, New Mexico, California, Arizona revolve a Mexico. ], ], ], ], ], ], and And a little piece for me to retire on.

Dr. Arliss Loveless Mr. West...how nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings.

Jim West Well, when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted.

Loveless Ms. East informs me that you expected to see Gen. McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON'S age.

West Well, I can see where it would be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know.

Loveless Well, perhaps the lovely Ms. East will keep you from being a SLAVE to your disappointment.

West Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, then CUT THE LEGS out from under you the next.

Loveless ...Quite.

James "Jim" T. West West... Jim West.

Belle The legendary Captain James West, And I finally got him all to myself and surely you should feel free to treat him just...

Jim West Bad.

Belle Darling...

Jim West Hold on to that for me for one second, would you? General McGrath's boys. Waiting for y'all for a week, you show up now. You wouldn't be working up here tonight now, would you? Working? Now would you be working if you were up here with you?

Gen Bloodbath McGrath YOU SAWED-OFF SADISTIC BASTARD, YOU BETRAYED US!

Dr. Arliss Loveless My dear General, having donated half of my physical being to create a weapon capable of doing this, how did you and General Lee repay my loyalty? You surrendered at ]! So who betrayed whom? Munitia, make note the turret speed needs to be accelerated.

Munitia Change gear ratio from 2.2 to 2.8.

Aide Scream...scream... "Help me." "Do not pull my arm!

McGrath I demand you give the order to stop this slaughter now!

Loveless We'll need more loading drills. I hear too much time between screams.

McGrath You give them the order to desist!

Loveless I understand your distress, but these men are not dying senselessly. It is for a far greater cause than you can possibly imagine.

McGrath You go straight to hell, sir!

Loveless After you, sir. Bloodbath McGrath indeed! Well, I think that concludes this night's festivities. Ladies, feed him to the crabs. Gentlemen, since the beginning of written history, a nation's power has been measured by the size of its standing army. Tonight that chapter will be closed. The traditional army, to say nothing of the United States, will become extinct, laid low by a "cripple"- as the general so amusingly implied, and mechanology. But my friends, that tank is just a little hors d'oeuvre compared to what the country's greatest scientists are cooking up for me next. So, if I have piqued your interest, bring one thousand kilograms of your country's gold to Spider Canyon within the next four days. And now if you'll excuse me, I have a tank to catch.

Dr. Arliss Loveless Why y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's me, dear friends - alive and kicking! Well, alive anyway. We may have lost the war, but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor! No... not even when we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, 35 feet of small intestine and our ability to reproduce, all in the name of the South, DO WE EVER LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!

James "Jim" T. West Nitro?! THIS IS NOT THE WAY YOU TRANSPORT NITRO!

Artemus Gordon I'm not a lady, I'm a U.S. Marshal!