23 quotes
Complexity of Consent and Affection
Betty
Well, it's been awhile since we had a little cuddle.
Yellowbeard
I raped ya, if that's what you mean.
Betty
Okay. It was half-cuddle, half-rape.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Comedy Adventure on the High Seas
Taglines
A Shipload of Laughs.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating an Iconic Comedy Ensemble
Taglines
The greatest comedy cast ever assembled for a movie! Everyone who's ever been funny!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Pirate's Infamous Legacy of Violence and Crime
Narrator
The pirate Yellowbeard captured many other galleons, killing over five-hundred men in cold blood. He would tear the captains hearts out and swallow them whole. Often forcing his victims to eat their own lips, he was caught and imprisoned... for tax evasion.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Perils of Pirating and Family Ties
Dan
Father! We thought you were dead.
Yellowbeard
Us Yellowbeards are never more dangerous than when we're dead. How are you gettin on pirating?
Dan
Um, well...
Yellowbeard
How many men have you killed so far?
Dan
One. Two, I think.
Yellowbeard
You think? You'll never kill anyone if you go around thinkin'.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Divine Authority versus Royal Obligation
El Nebuloso
Who is it more important to please: the King of Spain, or God?
[Examining Yellowbeard's treasure]
El Segundo
Why, God, of course.
El Nebuloso
And who is God's personal representative in these parts?
El Segundo
Why, you, your holy ruthlessness.
El Nebuloso
Well, God wants to keep all of it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Learning and Books
Betty
If there's one thing I've learned, it's learning things never taught me nuthin'. And books is the worst.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Treasure Secrets and Trick Questions
Gilbert
Where did you hide the treasure, exactly?
Yellowbeard
You won't catch me with those trick questions.
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A Dark Reflection on Relationships and Survival
Yellowbeard
She couldn't be your mother. No woman ever slept with me and lived.
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Threatening Demands for a Missing Map
Yellowbeard
Where's the map?
Betty
What map?
Yellowbeard
If you say you don't know where it is, I'll nail your tits to the table!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Worth and Value
Flower Girl
Will you give me two farthings for a lump of shit?
Dan
What?
[kneels down so he's at her level]
Flower Girl
Will you give me two farthings for a lump of shit?
Dan
No.
Dr. Gilpin
Society is to blame.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Plague Strikes Without Warning
Commander Clement
What happened?
[about pile of dead bodies]
Betty
Plague!
Commander Clement
Plague?
Betty
All sudden like! Lucky I was out.
Commander Clement
That man's got a sword in him!
Betty
He fell on it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Instructions for Moving Forward
Betty
Stagger, stagger, crawl, crawl, jump...
[recreating the path to where the treasure is buried]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Over a Past Mistake
Yellowbeard
Oh, bugger me, you've sodded the whole thing up like the stupid little twerp that you are. I was recreating what happened to me twenty years ago, man and boy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Blindness and Perception in Conversation
Harvey "Blind" Pew
I may be blind, but I've got acute earing.
Commander Clement
I'm not interested in your jewelry, cloth-eyes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of a Long Sentence
Commander Clement
Twenty years ago today you were sentenced to jail.
Yellowbeard
Yes, and now I'm due to released.
Commander Clement
Yes. Or rather, no. You see, twenty years ago, no one was expected to live in jail for twenty years.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Head Decapitation and Its Consequences
Dan
Look, if you cut my head off it'll start to putrify!
Yellowbeard
Do what?
Dan
Putrify, go rotten!
Yellowbeard
Yeah, it would ooze a lot, heads do. But I could live with that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiance Against Death's Final Call
Yellowbeard
Dying's the easy way out. You won't catch me dying. They'll have to kill me before I die!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Essence of Piracy and Betrayal
Yellowbeard
Betrayin's all part of piratin'. If you don't know that you're not even close to being a pirate, "Prawn of my loins", my foot!
Dan
What?
Yellowbeard
You're either born a pirate or not! It's in the blood Dan, and it's not in your blood or you'd have betrayed me long ago!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Threat to Anyone Who Interferes
Yellowbeard
I'll kill anyone who get's in the way of me killing anyone.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Fruit in Loins
Betty
I'm talking about the fruit of your loins.
Yellowbeard
Fruit of me loins? I haven't got fruit in me loins! Lice, yes, and proud of em, but no fruit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Fun Adventure for the Young at Heart
Taglines
...a rollicking yarn for the young in the head!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Colorful Array of Pirate Life
Taglines
Swashbucklers, pirates, public floggings, saucy tarts, beggars, queens, & jolly rogers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.