Young Frankenstein (1974) - Quotes

Monster: ["Putting On The Ritz"] UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!!

Monster: ["Putting On The Ritz"] UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!!

Monster: ["Super duper"] UU-AA UU-AA!!!

Monster: ["Putting On The Ritz"] UU-EE ONA UIIIITTTZZZZ!!!

Dr. Frankenstein: Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door!

Inga: Yes, Doctor.

Igor: [sarcastically] Nice workin with ya.

Dr. Frankenstein: [panicking, turns back to the door; turns to the Monster, then back to the door; sarcastically; begins pounding on the door; outside, Frau Blūcher stops Inga and Igor from trying to open the cell] Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I WAS JOKING! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA HA HA! Jesus Christ, let me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! MOMMY!!!

Frau Blucher: [blocking the door as Inga and Igor again try to open the cell] Nein!

Dr. Frankenstein: [turns back to the Monster, deciding a different approach...; the Monster looks momentarily wrong-footed; the Monster starts to cry; he hugs him] Hello, handsome! You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because...they are JEALOUS! Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a GOD! And listen to me, you are not evil. You...are...GOOD! This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him! I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire!

Inga: [from outside] Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?!

Dr. Frankenstein: MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN!!!

Dr. Frankenstein: That music......

Frau Blucher: [[soul] Yes. It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins. It reaches the ] when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE was making.

Dr. Frankenstein: Then it was you all the time.

Frau Blucher: Yes.

Dr. Frankenstein: You played that music in the middle of the night......

Frau Blucher: Yes.

Dr. Frankenstein: to get us to the laboratory.

Frau Blucher: Yes.

Dr. Frankenstein: That was YOUR cigar smouldering in the ashtray.

Frau Blucher: Yes.

Dr. Frankenstein: And it was you... who left my grandfather's book out for me to find.

Frau Blucher: Yes.

Dr. Frankenstein: So I would...

Frau Blucher: Yes.

Dr. Frankenstein: Then you and Victor were...

Frau Blucher: YES. YES. Say it. He was my... BOYFRIEND!

Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, may I speak to you for a moment?

Igor: Of course.

Dr. Frankenstein: Sit down, won't you?

Igor: [sits on the floor] Thank you.

Dr. Frankenstein: No no, up here.

Igor: [sits on a chair] Thank you.

Dr. Frankenstein: [[brain] Now...that ] that you gave me...was it Hans Delbruck's?

Igor: [crosses arms] No.

Dr. Frankenstein: [holds up hand] Ah. Good. Uh...would you mind telling me...whose brain...I did put in?

Igor: And you won't be angry?

Dr. Frankenstein: I will not be angry.

Igor: [shrugs] Abby...someone.

Dr. Frankenstein: Abby someone? Abby who?

Igor: Abby Normal.

Dr. Frankenstein: [sotto] Abby Normal?

Igor: [he and Dr. Frankenstein laugh] I'm almost sure that was the name.

Dr. Frankenstein: [slowly; stands; puts hand on Igor's hump; increasingly angry; grabs Igor by throat; [Gorilla|GORILLA; strangling Igor; [Stupidity|IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME] Are you saying... that I put an abnormal brain... into a 7 and a half foot long...54- inch wide... ]?!?!?! ]?!?!

Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him. The things he'd say to me.

Dr. Frankenstein: What did he say?

Igor: What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?

Dr. Frankenstein: [after failing to bring the creature to life] Nothing.

Inga: Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry.

Dr. Frankenstein: [begins walking away but then runs back and starts beating up the creature; furious] No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. SON OF A BITCH! BASTARD! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!

Inga: Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him!

Dr. Frankenstein: [pounds on the creatures chest in rage before being restrained; whimpers] I DON'T WANT TO LIVE! I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE!

Igor: [to the audience; [Hypocrisy|Quiet dignity and grace; rolls eyes] ].

Dr. Frankenstein: Oh...mama...

Dr. Frankenstein: What a filthy job!

Igor: Could be worse.

Dr. Frankenstein: How?

Igor: Could be raining.

Dr. Frankenstein: [reading his grandfather's work] The minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed. I resolved therefore to make the Creature of gigantic stature." Of course, that would simplify everything.

Inga: In other words...his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.

Dr. Frankenstein: Precisely.

Inga: [her eyes get wide] He vould have an enormous schwanzschtücker.

Dr. Frankenstein: [ponders this a moment] That goes without saying.

Inga: Woof.

Igor: [to the audience] He's going to be very popular.

Igor: [singing; scatting] I! I ain't got nobody, and nobody cares for me.

Dr. Frankenstein: Igor!

Igor: Froadrick!

Dr. Frankenstein: How did you get here?

Igor: [does a rimshot] Through the dumbwaiter. I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just...followed it down. Call it...a hunch. Ba-dum SHI!

Frau Blücher: Would the doctor care for a...brandy before retiring?

Dr. Frankenstein: No. Thank you.

Frau Blücher: Some varm milk...perhaps?

Dr. Frankenstein: No...thank you very much. No thanks.

Frau Blücher: Ovaltine?

Dr. Frankenstein: NOTHING! Thank you! I'm a little - tired!

Frau Blücher: Then I vill say...goodnight, Herr Doctor.

Dr. Frankenstein: Goodnight, Frau Blücher.

Dr. Frankenstein: What knockers.

Inga: Oh, thank you, doctor.

Inga: Werewolf!

Dr. Frankenstein: Werewolf?

Igor: There.

Dr. Frankenstein: What?

Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.

Dr. Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?

Igor: I thought you wanted to.

Dr. Frankenstein: No, I don't want to.

Igor: [shrugs] Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Dr. Frankenstein: You know, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump.

Igor: [[Ignorance|What hump] ]?

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein?

Dr. Frankenstein: Fronkensteen.

Igor: You're putting me on.

Dr. Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen.

Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?

Dr. Frankenstein: No..."Frederick.

Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?

Dr. Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen.

Igor: I see.

Dr. Frankenstein: You must be Igor.

Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor.

Dr. Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor.

Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?

Student: [Dr. Frankenstein gives him a stern look] Dr. Frank... Fronkensteen.

Dr. Frankenstein: Yes?

Student: [[Charles Darwin|Darwin] Isn't it true that ] preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extraordinary means, it actually began to move with a voluntary motion?

Dr. Frankenstein: [[worm] Are you speaking of the ] or the spaghetti?

Student: Why the worm, sir.

Dr. Frankenstein: Yes, it does seem I read something about that incident when I was a student. But, you got to remember that a worm, with very few exceptions, is not a human being.

Student: But wasn't that the basis of your grandfather's work? The reanimation of dead tissue?

Dr. Frankenstein: [getting annoyed] My grandfather was a very sick man.

Student: [air quotes; [curious] But as a Fronkensteen, aren't you the least ] about it? Doesn't bringing back to life what was once dead hold any intrigue for you?

Dr. Frankenstein: [getting more annoyed; [Madness|lunatic mind] You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a ]. Dead is dead!

Student: But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys!

Dr. Frankenstein: [raising voice] Hearts and kidneys are tinker toys! I'm talking about the central nervous system!

Student: But sir...

Dr. Frankenstein: [shouting; [scientist; [philosopher] I am a ], not a ]! You have more chance of reanimating this scalpel than you have of mending a broken nervous system!

Medical Student: But what about your grandfather's work, sir?

Dr. Frankenstein: [jams the scalpel into his leg, lets go of the scalpel and it sticks upright out of his leg, grasps it again, then slowly crosses his legs to block the scalpel from view] My grandfather's work was doodoo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life! Class...is...dismissed.

Inspector Kemp: A riot is an ungly thingk...undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun.

Elizabeth: [After they had sex, the Monster hears the violin, and follows it; to herself] Oh. Where you going?...Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. You better keep your mouth shut! Oh...I think I love him.

Monster: [After Igor and Inga switched Dr. Frankenstein and the Monster's brains from their bodies by using experiments, using proper English to convince Inspector Kemp and the angry mob about the situation; looks down at the unconscious Dr. Frankenstein] For as long as I can remember, people have hated me. They looked at my face and my body, and they ran away in horror. In my loneliness, I decided that if I could not inspire love, which was my deepest hope, I would instead cause fear! I live because this poor, half-crazed genius has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful. And then, when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger, he used his own body as a guinea pig to give me a calmer brain and a somewhat more sophisticated way of expressing myself.

Inga: [Dr. Frankenstein moans suggestively and approaches her in bed; gasping; emits several somewhat painful-sounding moans and grunts; singing] You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him? Oh my goodness, I don't believe... Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you! At last, I know the secret of it all!

Inga: [Dr. Frankenstein stutters; begins to roll in the hay] Hallo. Vould you like to have a roll in ze hay? It's fun. Roll, roll, roll in ze hay.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: LIFE!!! LIFE! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!! GIVE MY CREATION... LIFE!!!!!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [While preparing for the creation of the creature; both Igor and Inga turn the wheel, which the chains has lifted up the creature on the operating table along with him] From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, "I am man!", our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight, we shall ascend into the heavens! We shall mock the earthquake! We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [Inga pulls the candle, but the revolving bookcase spins around, trapping Dr. Frankenstein in the process] Put...the candle...back!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [dreaming; pauses] I am not a Frankenstein. I'm a Fronkensteen. Don't give me that. I don't believe in fate. And I won't say it. All right, you win. You win. I give. I'll say it. I'll say it. I'll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!