6 quotes
Balancing Family Life with Humor and Chaos
Taglines
He had a population of 10...She had a community of 8...When you have 18 kids - nothing's impossible...except having nineteen!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Romantic Revelation Among Family Members
Jean
You mean he doesn't know about us?
Helen
Well. Of course he does, Darling!
Jean
All of us?
Colleen
Oh, Mother. That's so romantic! You lied to him!
Helen
I did not lie to him! I just didn't have the nerve to tell him the whole truth!
Colleen
Mmm, I understand! No man wants a liaison with a woman with eight children!
Janette
What's a liaison?
Colleen
An affair.
Janette
That's what I thought.
Jean
Me too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Wedding Dynamics
Frank Beardsley
It was a typical wedding: enemies of the bride on the right, enemies of the groom on the left.
[narrating]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Honeymooning Without Children: A Candid Perspective
Taglines
A Honeymoon is No Place to Have Kids!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Misunderstanding Among Siblings
Mary
I got there as fast as I could, Sister Mary. What is it this time?
Mary
Why don't you ask Phillip?
Helen
Phillip? Darling! What happened?
[''Phillip turns around, revealing a black eye'']
Phillip
Nothing.
Helen
Who did that to you?
Phillip
One of the kids. *She* started it. She says I'm not legal.
[''points at Sister Mary'']
Helen
What?
Phillip
And Mike isn't my brother.
Helen
Of course he's your brother.
Phillip
Then my name's Phillip Beardsley.
Mary
Phillip North.
Phillip
There she goes again.
Mary
Sister, couldn't you - couldn't you just call him Phillip Beardsley?
Mary
I'm sorry, but the school requires that we use their legal names.
Phillip
Let's go to another school.
Helen
Sister, I, uh... I understand your legal problem, but you must try to understand mine. You see, I'm trying to bring two families together, and this is the first sign that I may be succeeding. So, I really would appreciate it if you'd let Phillip sign his name Beardsley.
Mary
But legally, it's North.
Mary
But it's more important that emotionally, it's Beardsley.
Mary
North.
Helen
Beardsley.
Mary
North!
Helen
Beardsley, Beardsley, Beardsley!
Phillip
Watch out, Mom. You might get a black eye.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Blend of Family Dynamics
Taglines
The Bride Had 8 Boys and Girls. The Groom Had 10 Boys and Girls. Their wedding night set new attendance records.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.