If you're like us and value your sleep, you probably nodded off into your Ambien dreamland before the party started on post-prime time TV. Don't worry; we've got you covered. Here's the best of what happened last night on late night.

Let's get this late night party started with "Modern Family's" Jimmy Kimmel Live" selling Mary Kay products / recruiting Kimmel's employees to join his makeup squad (a squad even cooler than that of Taylor Swift). The biggest takeaway from this sketch: Mary Kay is still a thing people use. Who knew?

More importantly (no offense, Ty), Jimmy Kimmel pitched to "Shark Tank." His brilliant idea? The Kid Cone. Essentially, a giant cone you shove on your child for their own safety. What could go wrong? (Also, his other idea was "hats for fruit" — we don't want to talk about it.)

Over on "Late Night," Kathy Griffin had a few things to say about Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson. And none of them were good, guys. None of them were good.
Jimmy Fallon spent some free-time chatting about Oprah's list of favorite things (AS HE SHOULD), and Nick Offerman joined him to read some of the more ridiculous descriptions aloud. And by "ridiculous," we mean INSPIRATIONAL.

Also, Nick shared his favorite fatty meats for Fall — including a pig fed a diet of only turduckens. That is all. Bless this man.

Meanwhile, several amazing things happened on "The Late Late Show," the best of which was Alanis Morissette singing "Ironic" with a new set of contemporary lyrics. Gems include "it's like swiping left on your future soulmate," and "it's like Netflix but your Uber's down the street."

Last, and definitely best, Conan played Fallout 4 while wearing an amazing costume. He definitely killed himself within five minutes, but you know. Worth it.