Danielle Brooks's NSFW Taystee Rap, Halle Berry Cancels, 'Couple or Friends?'
Jimmy Kimmel Live Tuesday night to promote tonight's premiere of Extant Season 2.
But she canceled, apparently not feeling well, which Jimmy said was a particular blow to Guillermo, who was looking forward to seeing her. So they did a little sketch where Jimmy broke the news to his sidekick, and a lot of slapping ensued.
Kathy Griffin filled in for Halle Berry, who "hurt her back" (Kathy's air quotes). Jimmy said he called Kathy Tuesday afternoon as a last-minute fill-in. Kathy took the opportunity to shade Halle a teensy bit and promote her 80-city tour.
Rob Corddry, who is on the new show "Ballers," talked to Jimmy about his celebrity crush as a kid, Kelly on "Dance Party USA," who turned out to be Kelly Ripa.
Once again, Jimmy referenced the Supreme Court's same-sex ruling and said, ever since Friday, when he's seen two people on the street, he's been tempted to congratulate them, but he's not sure if they are really a couple or just friends. So he sent his cousin Sal into the street to play "Couple or Friends?"
Jimmy also mocked Apple's new product, which just asks for -- nay, demands -- your money. For nothing. Or something. Just pay.
The amazing "Orange Is the New Black," talked to Conan O'Brien about how the Netflix show has the "coolest, most bold fans." She has had people run up to her at stoplights and kiss her on the cheek. Conan said he does that to all women. Danielle told the story of being at the ATX festival in Texas and she was walking with some friends; two white women came up and crossed paths with them. One of the women whispered, "Yo, I think that's Taystee." And the other girl said, "Don't be racist." Danielle said she went back and said, "It is me, you're not racist! I know all black people don't look alike, but it's me." Haha. She took a picture with them and said they were really nice.
Danielle also mentioned how creepy it is when older men hit on her. Her acceptable age range is up to about 39-40. (She's 25.) To Conan: "You got a cousin?" And here's her awesome (NSFW) Taystee rap, which had to be bleeped out. Conan was abashed. "There'll be no children's parties for you."
"Silicon Valley" star Kumail Nanjiani was also on "Conan" and discussed growing up in Pakistan. He tweeted an adorkable throwback photo -- he thought it was cute, but it did not receive one compliment. He even memorized some of the insults, which were largely about the size of his head. A lot of people thought he just Photoshopped his current face onto a train conductor's body. Poor guy.
Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers and James Corden are all on repeats this week. Tears!
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