Spike TV Is Ending, and Whoever Tweets for Them Just Unleashed
Spike TV is ending as of Thursday, Jan. 18. The network Viacom started in 2003 as "The First Network for Men" is rebranding as the Paramount Network. According to the New York Times, Paramount Network sees itself as "televisions's destination for premium entertainment and storytelling."
Paramount's new life begins Thursday with a live episode of the popular Spike TV show "Lip Sync Battle." Paramount will also feature new shows like "Waco," a miniseries starring Taylor Kitsch and Michael Shannon; and "Yellowstone," starring Kevin Costner. Spike was known for showing LOTS of episodes of "COPS," and the NYT joked that there will be "many fewer showings" in the rebranding.
The network will devote about a third of its schedule to original programming, and give the rest of the time to TV shows and movies from the Viacom and Paramount vaults. They're already adapting some of their own past movies for modern audiences, like the new "Heathers" series.
The self-described "Soon-to-be-ex-Viacom employee" who runs the Spike TV Twitter account decided to spend his/her/their last week tweeting out some funny and foul-mouthed last hurrahs. Some of the tweets are too f-bomb heavy to include, but here are most of them:
Welp, since I'm outta here anyway I might as well tell you all the things I've been holding in for the past 18 years. Brace yourself bros. Shit's about to get real. #GoodbyeSpike#SpikeUnfiltered
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
There's a reason all our early shows were CSI, UFC, TNA, MXC, UTI. No one around here knew how to read.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
When we greenlit TNA we thought we were buying something entirely different... but wrestling turned out to be ok.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
The "get more action" tagline was actually my personal mantra. I was in a 3 month dry spell.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I honestly thought catch a contractor was a show about STDs.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I was extremely disappointed when Stripperella had no nudity. I aired that show solely based off the name and the potential for frontal. #GoodbyeSpike#SpikeUnfiltered
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I lost my virginity in one of the storage spaces from Auction Hunters.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I hated all my logos, but this last one looks like a tattoo design from a rejected Ink Master contestant.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I clogged up the 4th stall in the 7th floor men's room over 30 times last year.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I learned from COPS that the best way to get out of a speeding ticket is to have something illegal in the car. I'm not sure how you get out of that felony charge though. #GoodbyeSpike#SpikeUnfiltered
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
My favorite number is 329 because it's the number of times COPS is on every night.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I wish Deadliest Warrior had more nunchucks.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
There's a secret Half Pint Brawlers fight club in the sub-basement every other Thursday.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
We had a show called The Joe Schmo Show. Apparently every decent show name was taken.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
The Church of Scientology kicked ME out. Sit with that a moment.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 16, 2018
I was baked when I pitched 1000 Ways to Die. Those episodes are mostly based on my nightmares.
— SPIKE (@spike) January 17, 2018
I never thought rebranding would be one of the 1000 ways to die. I'm out. PEACE!
— SPIKE (@spike) January 17, 2018
Fans appreciated the tweets and wanted them to continue. In case you want to keep the farewell party going, the link with the Twitter bio leads to a Spotify page with 32 goodbye songs (including "Closing Time"). FYI, Paramount Network did reply to a fan asking what would happen to "COPS" episodes. The show will be coming to Paramount. It just may not air 329 times a day.
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