Wet Hot American Summer - A Promise to Reunite in Ten Years
Susie:
You guys, I'm really gonna miss this place.
Coop:
Me, too.
Ben:
Hey, let's all promise that in ten years from today, we'll meet again, and we'll see what kind of people we've blossomed into.
Lindsay:
Yeah!
Ben:
What time do you wanna meet?
J.J.:
You mean ten years from now?
Ben:
Yeah.
Coop:
Let's meet in the morning so we can make a day of it.
Susie:
Okay, so what is it? Is it like 9:00 or 9:30?
Coop:
Well, let's say 9:00, that way we can be here by 9:30.
McKinley:
Well, no, why don't we say 9:30, and then make it your beeswax to be here at 9:30? I mean, we're all gonna be in our late 20s by then. I just don't see any reason why we can't be places on time.
Gary:
Okay, then, it's settled. 9:30 it is. All agreed?
Together:
Agreed.
McKinley:
Great, cause I have something at 11:00.
Gary:
You've just got like a trapper-keeper full of appointments, right?
McKinley:
No, I just, I have something at 11:00, and I can't change it, because I already moved it twice.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wet Hot American Summer - Discussing Inexperience and Sexuality Among Friends
J.J.:
He gets so uncomfortable whenever we talk openly about sexual issues. You know he's never been with a girl before.
Gary:
McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate". And I think you know what I'm talking about.
J.J.:
You mean, penis-in-vagina?
Gary:
No, dickhead. Sex.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wet Hot American Summer - A Conversation About Dinner and Sweaters
Gene:
Now finish up them taters, I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Gary:
Come on - what?
Gene:
Finish up the taters.
Gary:
And then what did you say?
Gene:
And then what did I say?
Gary:
You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Gene:
Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said fondue with cheddar, I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
Gary:
No Gene, that is not what you said.
Gene:
That is what I said. Fondue with cheddar.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wet Hot American Summer - Urgent Request Amidst Tension and Frustration
Gene:
...I've seen more fucked up shit out there in five minutes than you've seen in your whole life.
Gary:
Well, I'm sorry Gene, and if I could change history I would, but-
Gene:
Fuck you! Now we need fifteen gallons of bug juice by snack time, do you know where the powder packets are?
Gary:
Yeah.
Gene:
In the pantry above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream, Wait... Forget that last comment.
Gary:
Did you say dick cream?
Gene:
No! I said ... stick... team, you know stick team! Stickball! Go away! Leave me alone!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.