Ajay NaiduQuotes

Sayaman: [''After accidentally killing Tom's wife with his truck''] Tom, I'll need a ride home.

Hari: Don't worry, chicken curry...

Tom Smykowski: [gives Peter a printout of an email] I've been looking all over for you guys. Have you seen this? I knew it. I knew it!

Michael Bolton: What, it's a staff meeting. So what?

Tom Smykowski: So, what? We're all screwed, that's what! They're gonna downsize Initech!

Samir Nagheenanajar: What're you talking about, Tom? Now, how do you know that?

Tom Smykowski: How do I know? They're bringing in a consultant, that's how I know! That's what this staff meeting's all about! It happened at Intitrode last year. You have to interview with this consultant; they call them "efficiency experts", but what you're really doing is interviewing for your own job!

Michael Bolton: Tom, every week you say you're gonna lose your job, and you're still here.

Tom Smykowski: Not this time. I bet I'm the first one laid off. Just the thought of having to go to the state unemployment office and stand in line with those SCUMBAGS!

Peter Gibbons: Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars and didn't have to work. And invariably, whatever you'd say, that was supposed to be your career. So if you wanted to fix old cars, then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.

Samir Nagheenanajar: So what did you say?

Peter Gibbons: I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.

Michael Bolton: No, you're working at Initech cause that question is bullshit to begin with. If everybody listened to her, there would be no janitors, because no one will clean shit up if they had a million dollars.

Samir Nagheenanajar: (smiling) You know what I would do if I had million dollars? I would invest half of it in low-risk mutual funds, and then take the other half over to my friend Sadulach who works in Securities...

Michael Bolton: Samir, Samir, you're missing the point. The point of the exercise is that you're supposed to figure out what you would (the printer makes a discouraging sound and then stops) want, to do if.. (reads the printer's display) "PC load letter"?!! The fuck does that mean?!! (he lashes out and knocks a paper tray off)

Female Temp: [handing out letters; reads the name on one] Michael...Bolton?

Michael Bolton: [leans over to take the letter] Yeah, that's me.

Female Temp: Wow! Is that your real name?

Michael Bolton: [takes the letter, goes back to his computer; answering as if he's heard the question so many times in his life, which he no doubt has had to do] Yeah.

Female Temp: So are you related to that singer guy?

Michael Bolton: [politely; he smiles at her] No. It's just a coincidence.

Female Temp: [visibly disappointed; she leaves] Oh.

Samir Nagheenanajar: No-one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It..it's not that hard. Na-ghee-na-na-jar...Nagheenanajar.

Michael Bolton: Well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Samir Nagheenanajar: You know, there is nothing wrong with that name.

Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it, until I was about 12 years old and that no talent ass-clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir Nagheenanajar: Why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael.

Michael Bolton: No way, why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Samir Nagheenanajar: [frustrated with the malfunctioning printer] Why does it say "Paper Jam" when there is no paper jam?!

Samir Nagheenanajar: [drunk singing] Back up in your ass with the resurrection.

Samir Nagheenanajar: [first lines, when he is in his car, driving to work and stuck in the traffic jam with Peter and Michael] Mother shitter, son of an ass! You, I just!

Samir Nagheenanajar: Yes, I am also not a pussy.