Alan Gilmer

Kenny: So Casey, I guess it's nice for you to get your hair cut. I mean, you being homeless and all, I guess.

Casey: I'm not homeless, fucktard. I have a home, but I left it because my parents...

David: [[Precious (film)|Precious; Grabs Kenny and Casey; Hands cash to Casey; [Eminem; [8 Mile (film)|8 Mile; Casey flips David off] Oh my God, shut up, shut up, shut up, okay? Please? Alright, I don't need to hear your heart bloodbath story right now, okay? I mean, I rented ] on Netflix, and I still don't watch the fucking thing. Actually, here, you know what? Just to give me a little peace and quiet, go buy yourself some new clothes. You know, the kind of stuff that loved children are wearing. Not this garbage, alright? Thank you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop. Kenny, you're fine. You already look like a total dipshit. Here, you take it, you're gonna need that. You look like ] from ]. Kenny, go with her. Make sure she doesn't steal the money. And stay the fuck out the Hot Topic.

Stylist: OK, what are we doing today?

David: [[w:Dora the Explorer|Dora the Explorer] Yeah, I say, give me somethin that says, "I get up every morning at 5:30 and commute for an hour and a half to some bullshit job where my jag-off boss expects me to kiss his balls all day just so I can afford to keep my ungrateful, screaming kids decked out in ] shit and my wife up to her fat ass in self-help videos until the day I get up the courage to put a shotgun in my mouth.

Middle Aged Man: [Indicating his own haircut] Right here.

David: [Points in the mirror] Yeah, that's it. That's the one.