Memorable Quotes from Alfonso Arau
9 quotesUnexpected Arrival of Foreigners
El Guapo
What? Are gringos falling from the sky?
Jefe
Yes, El Guapo.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Familiarity and Identity in El Guapo's Words
El Guapo
I know each one of you, like I know my own smell!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication in a Tense Standoff
Lucky Day
Not so fast, El Guapo! Or I'll fill you so full of lead that you'll be using your dick for a pencil!
El Guapo
What do you mean?
Lucky Day
...I don’t know.
Jefe
I think he means that if you –
El Guapo
SHUT UP!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Plethora of Piñatas Explained
Jefe
We have many beautiful piñatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises!
El Guapo
How many piñatas?
Jefe
Many piñatas, many!
El Guapo
Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?
Jefe
A what?
El Guapo
A plethora.
Jefe
Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora.
El Guapo
Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe
Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo
Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe
El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Relationships Through Flower Metaphor
El Guapo
Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.
Jefe
So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?
El Guapo
Tonight, or I will kill her!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Fear with Courage and Resolve
Ned Nederlander
Tell us we will die like dogs.
[whispers]
El Guapo
You will die like dogs!
Dusty Bottoms
No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Negotiating for Transportation in Challenging Circumstances
Jack Colton
I understand you have a car. We would like to buy it or rent it, we need to get to a town.
Juan
What do you call this I'm living in, a pigsty?
Jack Colton
Oh, no this is great...
Juan
Hit the road.
Jack Colton
No, senor, see we...
Juan
Hit-the-road.
Jack Colton
But we...
Juan
Vaya con dios, gringo.
[points a gun at him]
Jack Colton
Okay, Joan Wilder, write us out of this one.
Juan
Joan Wilder... Joan Wilder? The Joan Wilder?
Juan
You are Joan Wilder, the novelist?
Joan Wilder
Well, yes, I am.
Juan
I read your books! I read all your books! This is Joan Wilder, who writes the books I read to you on Saturdays!
[turning to his men, in Spanish]
Bad Hombre
Juanita... Juanita, it's Juanita!
[awestruck]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
El Guapo's Threat to the Three Gringos
El Guapo
Tomorrow I will take fifty men with me, find these three gringos, open their stomachs, grab their intestines, and squeeze the shit out of them!
[Describing his plans for dealing with the Amigos]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
El Guapo's Code of Conduct
El Guapo
El Guapo only kills men. He does not kill crying women!
[horse neighs, Three Amigos shuffle nervously; Three Amigos let out a sigh of relief]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.