Big Fat Liar - Demand for Destruction and Understanding
Kaylee:
I want to see a broken man, people. I mean broken as in, I hit a baseball through the window broken. Snap him like a twig! Squeeze him like a bug! I want you to turn him into mince meat, and I don't even know what mince meat is!! I want him to cry for his mommy! "WAH! WAH! Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Do you read me? Cos I don't think you read me!
Jason:
I think they read you.
Kaylee:
Fair enough.
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Big Fat Liar - Misunderstandings and Obligations Among Friends
Frank:
Fur coat king of the Midwest, my butt! I got some R-rated dialogue for you, but I'm gonna keep it PG. I'm gonna keep it PG. You owe me $100 for yesterday's ride.
Kaylee:
Well, maybe we--
Frank:
You almost cost me my job.
Jason:
Frank, I'm sorry. I can explain.
Frank: [imitates a car engine stalling]
Azitatatatatata! Ya hear that?
Jason:
I just--
Frank:
Azitatatatatatata!
Kaylee:
If we could--
Frank:
I don't wanna hear it, okay?
Kaylee:
I know, I just--
Frank:
Azita, azitatatatata!
Jason:
If you just--
Frank:
Azita, azitatatatata!
Kaylee:
I--
Frank:
Azita!
Kaylee:
I--
Frank:
Azita! Azitatatatatatatata!
Jason: [[story]
I'm sorry. It's just we came out here to get even with this guy Marty Wolf. Because he... he stole my ]...
Frank:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jason:
And he's making it into this big movie.
Frank:
Did you just say "Marty Wolf"?
Jason:
Yeah, you know him?
Frank:
Know him? I used to drive him. He fired me last year.
Kaylee:
Why?
Frank: [shows a photo of himself]
I'm an actor, see? Right? And I made the mistake of asking him if I could audition for one of his movies. He could've said "No" and not let me audition, right? But instead, he takes my headshot, writes "Loser" across my forehead, and then faxes it to every casting director in town.
Kaylee:
You poor thing.
Frank:
If you guys wanna mess with Wolf, I got your back.
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Big Fat Liar - Free Drinks at the Beach
Kaylee:
Jas?
Jason: [on the phone]
I'm at the beach! Hey, Frank; Mr. Stroog. Meet us at the theater gate in 20.
Kaylee:
Hey. What's with the Cokes?
Jason:
The machine! It's rigged! THEY'RE FREE, HAHAHA, THEY'RE FREE!!
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Big Fat Liar - Confirmation of Identities in a Conversation
Kaylee: [in mock-Texan accent]
Marty Wolf Pictures?
Astrid Barker:
Yes.
Kaylee:
Astrid Barker?
Astrid Barker:
Yes.
Kaylee:
Ah'm sorry t say, yer car is parked onna dawg.
Astrid Barker: [[dog; Exit Astrid]
My car… is parked on a ]?! .
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Big Fat Liar - Confronting Deceit in Relationships
Kaylee:
But you are a liar.
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She's the Man - Unexpected Pain in a Comedy Scene
Boys:
OOOOHHHH! OWWWW!
Viola: [as Sebastian]
Huh? Oh. Right. OWWW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IT BURNS!
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She's the Man - Unexpected Support Amidst Routine Tasks
Viola:
I didn't think you'd show up. It really means a lot to me that you're here. Say something.
Groundskeeper:
I gotta turn the sprinklers on.
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She's the Man - Debate on Gender Norms and High Heels
Malcolm:
I am convinced he's hiding something.
Principal Gold:
Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-American, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [Walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone]
Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller. And to make it harder for them to run away.
Principal Gold:
Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm:
No, sir, I...
Principal Gold:
Not that easy. Not that easy...
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She's the Man - Shower Etiquette in Dorm Life
Viola:
(Singing) I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower.
Malcolm: [startled gasp then realizes he forgot to introduce himself]
Malcolm Festes, Dorm Director. Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when in the actual shower! ...Did you not read your "Dorm Life" pamphlet? It was in your cubby.
Viola:
Sup dog?
Duke: [''Sarcastically'']
Yeah, what's kickin', homie?
Viola:
Later.
Duke: [holding up Viola's chest bandage]
Hey, you forgot, ew... This, coolio.
Viola:
Word, G-man.
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She's the Man - Unexpected Uses for Tampons in Conversations
Duke:
Dude, why do you have tampons in your boot?
Viola: [as Sebastian]
Uh, I get really bad nose bleeds?
Andrew:
So you stick them up your nose?
Viola: [guys shake heads]
Yeah! You mean you've never done that? Oh my god, Beckham does it all the time!
Duke:
No.
Viola:
Look, I'll show you. You take that off.. and whatever that is.. and you just stick it right in. It absorbs right up!
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She's the Man - The Morning After a Peaceful Sleep
Viola: [as Sebastian]
Eunice!
Viola: [clears throat]
Uh, Eunice! Why didn't you wake me up?
Eunice: [As 'Sebastian' hurriedly leaves]
You looked so serene. I made breakfast, darling!
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She's the Man - Embracing Toughness Through Adversity
Duke: [Using one of Viola's tampons after getting into a fight with Justin at the carnival]
Oh, yeah, I uh, borrowed one of your... yeah... and you're right, they really do work.
Viola: [as Sebastian; Clears throat]
Oh my God, you're hurt! I mean, suck it up. Be a man and rub some dirt on it.
Duke:
All right, I'll rub some dirt on it...
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She's the Man - Appreciating Honest Lyrics in Friendship
Olivia:
What's this? Poems?
Viola:
Lyrics. They're his... my, my old stuff.
Olivia: [reading; Continues reading]
Wake up I've been waiting for you".
Olivia:
Those are really good. So honest.
Viola:
I know. I keep telling him... me... myself... my... myself.
Malcolm:
I write songs too, Olivia.
Olivia:
Really? Wonderful.
Malcolm: [sings]
Check it out. I see you through your window, while I'm standing on a tree outside.
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She's the Man - A Question of Preference and Attraction
Viola: [as Sebastian]
What does your heart tell you?
Duke:
What?
Viola:
I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?
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She's the Man - Allergic to the Sun in Sports Context
Coach Dinklage: [about to assign teams for practice, one having their shirts on, the other off]
OK, shirts and skins!
Viola:
Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt.
Coach Dinklage:
What?!
Viola:
I'm allergic to the sun.
Coach Dinklage:
You're allergic to the sun.
Viola:
Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic.
Coach Dinklage: [Marks his clipboard]
Well, we like to accommodate, here at Illyria, so I'll follow you around with a parasol. Alright, nancy-boy? You're a shirt.
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She's the Man - Brilliance and Youth in College Life
Andrew:
Freshman dorms are that-a-way twiglet.
Toby:
Yeah, seriously how old are you?
Viola: [as Sebastian]
I skipped a couple grades. Shh! I'm brilliant.
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She's the Man - Understanding Identity and Self-Expression
Viola:
I just can't do this.
Paul: [Pause]
Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong but you know what I mean.
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She's the Man - A Mother's Reluctance to Date
Daphne: [After hearing about Viola breaking up with Justin]
But why? He's so handsome, and rugged, and chiseled, and great.
Viola:
Then why don't you date him, Mom?
Daphne: [Pauses to fantasize, then giggles]
Oh, no... I couldn't.
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Hairspray - Embracing a New Identity
Penny Pingleton:
I am now a checkerboard chick!
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Hairspray - A Mother's Rule Against Sweating
Penny Pingleton:
My mom says I’m not allowed to perspire!
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What a Girl Wants - The Irresistible Appeal of Chocolate
Daphne Reynolds:
Dude, its chocolate. Need I say more?
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What a Girl Wants - Yearning for Acceptance and Recognition
Daphne Reynolds:
Every year I would wish if that I was good enough you would come and find me.
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What a Girl Wants - Comparing Sizes: A Humorous Observation
Daphne Reynolds:
It's bigger than our entire apartment and the Chinese restaurant downstairs and the dry cleaner down the street; it makes the White House look like a McDonalds!
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What a Girl Wants - Claiming Victory Over the Stepsister
Daphne Reynolds:
My evil stepsister, you've seen Cinderella, right? Let me clue you in, I win.
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What a Girl Wants - Embracing Individuality Over Superficial Expectations
Daphne Reynolds:
If you take your nose out of the air for one second you'll see that you're designer, I'm vintage. You've got a mansion, I've got a five floor walkup. You're snotty little miss cranky pants and I go with the flow, so why would you ever think for one second that I'd ever have the same taste in guys? So here's a little pointer for you. Get over yourself and stop trying to be my daddy's little girl because I'm not going anywhere.
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Easy A - Questioning Choices and Consequences in Relationships
Olive:
Does it ever bother you that your boyfriend is 22 years old and still in high school?
Marianne:
Because, Olive, it's His choice!
Olive:
Oh, really? His choice? He just wants to be repeating his senior year for, like, the fourth time cause he can't pass a single test?
Marianne: [gestures up]
No, silly, His. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers.
Olive: [laughs]
I'm sorry, but, I mean, really? You gotta be shittin me, woman.
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Easy A - Critique of Life Choices and Expectations
Marianne: [stapling papers]
Looks like someone's on a downward spiral.
Olive:
Looks like someone's practicing the mundane activity she'll be saddled with the rest of her pathetic life.
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Easy A - Judgment and Indecency in Easy A
Marianne:
There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive: [[w:Tom Cruise|Tom Cruise]
]?
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Easy A - Struggling with Love and Acceptance
Marianne:
Jesus tells us to love everyone, even the whores and the homosexuals. But it's so hard, it's so hard because they keep doing it, over and over again.
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Easy A - Consequences of Choices and Accountability
Marianne: [to Olive]
You've made your bed...I just hope for your sake, you've cleaned the sheets.
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