Andrew GarfieldQuotes

Todd Hayes: This is unethical, making me bring you coffee.

Professor Stephen Malley: No more than makin me look at that shirt.

Professor Stephen Malley: The decisions you make now, bud, can't be changed but with years and years of hard work to redo it. And in those years you become something different. Everybody does as the time passes. You get married, you get into debt. But you're never gonna be the same person you are right now. And promise and potential? It's very fickle, and it just might not be there anymore.

Todd Hayes: Are you assuming I already made a decision? And also that I'll live to regret it?

Professor Stephen Malley: All I'm saying is that you're an adult now. And the tough thing about adulthood is that it starts before you even know it starts, when you're already a dozen decisions into it. But what you need to know, Todd, no lifeguard is watching anymore. You're on your own. You're your own man, and the decisions you make now are yours and yours alone from here until the end.

Professor Stephen Malley: You know, professors aren't teachers, they're salesman.

Todd Hayes: Okay, so what do you sell?

Professor Stephen Malley: You, to you.

Professor Stephen Malley: Have you ever been to Greece?

Todd Hayes: Greece? No.

Professor Stephen Malley: No, because their government makes ours look like a streamlined version of the future.

Millicent: I think someone's been following me.

Sam: You kidding?

Millicent: I wanted to make it look like we're here to screw.

Sam: We're not?

Millicent: [''Puts bracelet on Sam's wrist''] I found this hidden in my dad's office.

Sam: H6 to G4. Like a chess move? Your dad played chess?

Millicent: [''Bullets start whizzing''] Yeah. He did.

Sam: [''They go underwater but Millicent perishes''] Get down! Get down!

Millicent: So, what do you think it all means?

Sam: [''Sighs''] Not sure yet. Can't... can't quite see it, but I... I'm close, I think.

Millicent: [''Sees a memorial shrine for a deceased dog''] Oh, god. I don't think we should be walking around here at night.

Sam: I think we're safe. We don't have a dog with us.

Millicent: Yeah, but anyone who could kill a dog wouldn't think twice about killing a person.

Sam: Not sure that's true.

Millicent: So, you a cat person or a dog person?

Sam: It's hard to say. I got bit by my grandparents terrier when I was kid, so I- I'm a little bit afraid of em.

Millicent: Oh, god, that's awful.

Homeless man: Ah! Got a little change?!

Sam: No, no, no. Sorry.

Homeless man: No money to spare huh?! Does the lady know your cheap?!

Sam: Fuck you!

Homeless man: Ugly-ass piece of shit, worthless trash! Motherfucker! You're more broke than I am! Fuck you! Come back here and sit next to papa! I'll shit in your mouth asshole! Fucking dickwad, piece of shit!

Sam: [[w:Poltergeist|Poltergeists] I know it's not okay for me to say this but I- I fucking hate the homeless. Everybody says we need to take of them, but I think they're fucking bullies. ].

Millicent: You mean, ghosts?

Sam: Yeah. Yeah. All they do is float around the edges, on the peripheries and watch people eating delicious food, drinking beer and falling in love. They can't participate so they get jealous, and then they harrass us.

Millicent: [''Referring to lake''] Why don't you just give him a dollar next time? Have you ever been in there?

Sam: What? The reservoir?

Millicent: [''She starts climbing up fence''] Yeah. Come on.

Woman: Are you crazy, you big idiot?!

Man: Look, you fools, you're in danger! Can't you see?! They're after you! They're after all of us! Our wives, our children, everyone! They're already here, already! You're next!

Sam: Oh, fuck.

Officer: Hi, I'm here to inform you that you evacuate the premises immediately.

Sam: [''Sighs''] Oh... this is about my rent.

Officer: Yeah, you haven't paid. It's...

Landlord: Criminally overdue, is what it is.

Sam: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Could I just please just get a couple more days?

Officer: No, I don't think so.

Sam: Please? I'm... I don't have anywhere else to go, and I'm... I'm really close to getting the money. I promise.

Officer: Listen, I don't like this either. Worst part of my job, okay?

Sam: [''Sighs''] Yeah, I understand.

Officer: [''Sighs''] I can give you one more day, but that is it.

Sam: Thank you.

Officer: If you can't pay, I will not be the nice girl you see right now.

Landlord: No, no... I want him out now!

Officer: Hey, I am handling this. Don't be greedy.

The Songwriter: Come inside.

Sam: You wrote the song; Turning Teeth for Jesus and the Brides of Dracula? And the codes in music? I found the tunnels and the bomb shelter.

The Songwriter: Okay.

Sam: So, what does it all mean?

The Songwriter: Come and sit down. Here.

Sam: [[w:Kurt Cobain|Kurt Cobain; [w:Fender Mustang|Fender Mustang] Is that... ]'s ] guitar?

The Songwriter: Oh. I don't know. Probably. I don't remember. I have so many things.

Sam: Can I pick it up?

The Songwriter: Well... I don't always worry what the message is. I just pass it along. I slip it between the notes, hide it away, for people that know it's there.

Sam: You're saying you've done this before, codes?

The Songwriter: [''Sings''] I wrote the music your dad grew up to, half of what you sang along to as a kid, and I'm still doing it. Theses teenagers are dancing to my music. I want it that way, tell me why...

Sam: You're telling me there's hidden messages in old pop songs?

The Songwriter: Movies, television shows, everything you know.

Sam: Why?

The Songwriter: [[w:kleenex|kleenex; ''Sings''] That's pop culture isn't it? Floats away like tissue paper. I blow my nose, I find a used ], I recycle it, and there is your wedding song. Here it comes. I wanna know what love is, and I want you to show me.

Sam: What are the tunnels for? Is there gonna be a war?

The Songwriter: Oh hell, I don't know. I'm just trying to make a living. Earn a few dollars.

Sam: But you have everything.

The Songwriter: No.

Sam: [''Produces polaroid''] You know this girl?

The Songwriter: [''Sings''] Well, isn't she pretty? Earth angel, earth angel...

Sam: She was killed.

Sam: Along with Jefferson Sevence, but I think you already knew that, huh?

The Songwriter: [''Plays [[w:Smells Like Teen Spirit|Smells Like Teen Spirit; [w:fellatio|blowjob; [w:omelette|an omelette] No, I did not. I don't care what's fashionable or cool. It's all silly and it's all meaningless. I created so many of the things that you care about. The songs that give your life purpose and joy. When you were 15 and rebelling, you were rebelling to my music. Uh-oh. There's one you know. And that song was not written on distorted guitar. No, I wrote it on piano somewhere between a ] and ]. There is no rebellion. There is only me earning a paycheck

Sam: I don't believe you.

The Songwriter: [''Starts playing [[w:I Love Rock 'n' Roll|I Love Rock 'n' Roll; ''Talks''; ''Chuckles''; ''Laughs''] Well, good, because the real message was not meant for you. So, it's better if you just smile and you dance and you enjoy the melody, because this ugly old man, me, I am the voice of your generation, your grandparents, your parents, and all the young people that follow you. ] and sings] I love rock and roll, So drop another dime in the jukebox, baby. Aw, look at you. Everything that you hopes for, that you dreamed about, being a part of, is a fabrication. Your art, your writing, your culture is the shell of other men's ambitions, ambitions beyond what you will ever understand.

Sam: That's funny to you?

The Songwriter: [''Laughs''; ''Plays [[w:Ode to Joy|Ode to Joy; ''Plays [[w:Axel F|Axel F; ''Plays [[w:La Bamba|La Bamba] Well, it's a little bit funny, don't you think? because I wrote this. And I wrote this. ] and laughs] And I wrote this.

Sam: Stop it.

The Songwriter: [''Plays [[w:Pinball Wizard|Pinball Wizard] And I wrote this, too! ] and laughs]

Sam: Stop it! Who's paying you to write these songs?!

Sam: [''Runs up to The Songwriter''; ''Songwriter produces a pistol''; ''The Songwriter opens fire on Sam''] Who's paying you to write these songs?! Oh shit!

Jesus: [[w:defecation|I'm taking a shit!; ''Sam grabs Jesus' leg and drags him off toilet''; ''Sam punches and slaps Jesus''] What the fuck, man?! ] Get the fuck off me!

Sam: Huh, huh?! Why'd you put a code in the song?!

Jesus: What are you talking about?!

Sam: What are the tunnels for?!

Jesus: [''Sam punches him and Jesus groans''] What?! Ow! Why are you hitting me?!

Sam: Your song; Turning Teeth, there's a fucking code in it! I need to know, why you put it in there, and what the fuck it means!

Jesus: [''Groans''] Help!

Sam: [''Grunts''] Fucking tell me, eh?!

Jesus: [''Sam twists Jesus' hand and he groans''] I don't know anything about a code!

Sam: How could you not know?! You wrote the fucking song!

Jesus: No, I didn't! I wrote most of them but not that one!

Sam: Bullshit!

Jesus: Honestly! The label gave me a few songs to record! The rest are all mine!

Sam: So, which songs did they give you?!

Jesus: Turning Teeth, Wire Mouth and Waltz of the Christian Shit Farmers!

Sam: That's all the hits!

Jesus: [''Sam twists Jesus' hands and he groans''] There's no reason to belittle me, man!

Sam: All right, who wrote the song?!

Jesus: They were delivered to me anonymously! I- I got a call from someone at the label. They said not to ask any questions, but, if I didn't record the songs, I'd lose my contract!

Sam: You're telling me you don't know who wrote your own hit song?

Jesus: He didn't give me a name, no! He just said it was an important piece of music by the songwriter!

Sam: The songwriter"?!

Jesus: Yeah, the songwriter!

Sam: Is that a dog?

Homeless King: [[w:coyote|coyote] It's a ]!

Sam: It's not gonna bite me, right?

Homeless King: [''Walking past a coyote foraging through the contents of an overturned trash can''; ''Coyote runs off''] No. Coyotes are blessed creatures. If you ever find yourself alone with a coyote, you don't run away. You follow it, see where it takes you.

Homeless King: [''Leading Sam down a cave tunnel''; ''Takes off Sam's blindfold''] People think we own this land, the streets, the yards, the hills, the houses and caves. Everything belongs to the coyotes. They're just letting us use it.

Sam: Where are we?

Homeless King: You know I can't tell you that.

Sam: Sure. Of course.

Homeless King: Okay. Well.

Sam: [''Homeless King nods head and closes door''] Uh, this way?

Homeless King: I saw you rubbing the statue's head.

Sam: Uh-uh.

Homeless King: [''Throws a cloth to Sam''] Here. Put that over your eyes and I'll take you where you're looking to go.

Sam: Who are you?

Homeless King: I'm the Homeless King.

Sam: Really?

Homeless King: Yeah.

Shooting Star 1: What do you do?

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Nothing.

Shooting Star 1: I mean, for work

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Oh, God. All I'm ever hearing is what do I do for work or; "how's work"? Where's- "where do you work"? Work- "work good"? "You working good"?

Shooting Star 1: People have to work.

Sam: What about you? You- You're in movies. Why are- why are you, uh, y'know, doing this?

Shooting Star 1: Yeah, I made one little indie movie and barely. Do you know how expensive it is to live here?

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Yeah, I do.

Shooting Star 1: [[w:Academy Award|Academy Award nominee; ''She starts taking off dress''; ''Sam chuckles''; ''She gets on top of Sam''] Do you want a blowjob from the supporting actress ] last year? Shooting Star. Do you wanna go down on the girlfriend of the lead in your favorite sitcom? Call Shooting Star. Wanna fuck an "IT" girl? It's not that hard. You are a patron of the arts, and I can pay my bills. You gave em your credit card, right?

Sam: [''She starts kissing him''] Uh-huh. Can I ask you something?

Shooting Star 1: Sure.

Sam: I was wondering last night at the cemetery, who was that pirate-looking guy in the limo?

Shooting Star 1: No idea.

Sam: You don't know his name?

Shooting Star 1: No, he's anonymous.

Sam: You don't know anything about him?

Shooting Star 1: Mmm-hmm.

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Oh. Okay.

Shooting Star 1: [''Reaches for pizza and spots Sarah's polaroid, holding it up''] You got any food? I know this girl.

Sam: Really?

Shooting Star 1: [''Walks to him''; ''Throws pizza slice on coffee table and gets back on Sam''] Mmm-hmm.

Sam: How do you know her?

Shooting Star 1: Saw her at this party a couple years ago.

Sam: Oh, yeah?

Shooting Star 1: Mmm-hmm.

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Did you talk to her?

Shooting Star 1: [''Chuckles''] No. that would have been impossible.

Sam: Why?

Shooting Star 1: She was in this glass cube in the middle of the living room. Was, like, some bad performance art, I guess.

Sam: Hmm.

Shooting Star 1: [[w:Dalmatian (dog)|Dalmatian; ''They chuckle''] And she was just sitting there, wearing a ] bathing suit, not moving, not making eye contact, and all these drunk old men tapping on the glass, and she wouldn't budge.

Sam: Who took there?

Shooting Star 1: Oh, some asshole producer, you know, he brought me and some girls as his dates.

Sam: Oh, what was his name?

Shooting Star 1: I don't remember. He makes these big action films based on household cleaning products.

Sam: Yeah, I know who you're talking about.

Shooting Star 1: [''Chuckles''; ''sighs''] Yeah. So we get there, we go through the gate, and they check our IDs, and we're just free to roam around this luxury neighborhood, to go in any house we want, any room we want. There's food everywhere, music, dancers, craziness.

Sam: Hmm.

Shooting Star 1: [[w:The Great Gatsby|Gatsby] It's this big open party right out of ].

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Wow. So whose place was it?

Shooting Star 1: No one ever really said. It was weird. But there was this one house, the biggest house on the block, this big stone mansion, and we weren't allowed to go near it. It's the only place off-limits.

Sam: Hmm.

Shooting Star 1: And I heard some girls in the bathroom talking about how it belonged to some songwriter

Sam: Must have been some song.

Shooting Star 1: Hmm. No shit.

Sam: Hey man, you really think you're gonna find a hidden message in a pop song?

Bar-buddy: I don't know.

Sam: I just remember being in my room when I was like, ten, and coming up with all these weird, little codes and secret languages.

Bar-buddy: It's an entire generation of men obsessed with video games, secret codes,

Sam: Yeah.

Bar-buddy: Space aliens.

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Yeah.

Bar-buddy: [''Dies in video game''] Fuck. Used to be, a hundred years ago, y'know, any moron could kinda wander into the woods and look behind a rock or some shit and discover some cool new thing, y'know? Not anymore. Where's the mystery that makes everything worthwhile? We crave mystery, cause there's none left.

Balloon Girl: [''Seated at the nightclub, sharing a cigarette and Sam shows her Sarah's polaroid''] I didn't know her very well, but I saw her around at parties and shows and stuff. I don't know what happened to her but, I can tell you, it had nothing to do with my friends. We're just enjoying our world, enjoying our bodies, enjoying our music.

Sam: [''Holds up record album and points to it''] I heard that there's some kind of code or like some secret message in, in their music.

Balloon Girl: [''Laughs''; ''Blows up balloon''; ''Pops balloon with the cigarette and Sam laughs''] I'm pretty sure that's not true. Jesus wouldn't hide a message in a message. There's nothing to solve you know. It's silly, wasting your energy on something that doesn't matter. We have this tiny little window, where we can have fun, fuck, be free. Life is too short right now.

Sam: [''Band starts playing a new song''] I wanna dance to this.

Balloon Girl: I don't know this song.

Sam: [''Grabs her hand and takes her to dance floor''] Come on.

Balloon Girl: We should fuck!

Sam: Yeah.

Balloon Girl: What's wrong?! What's wrong?!

Sam: Okay, feel, real... feel really strange.

Balloon Girl: How much of the cookie did you eat?!

Sam: [''Sam runs off to washroom''] All of it!

Balloon Girl: Shit. I'm sorry. Sorry.

Sam: [''Starts breathing hard''] Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, wait! Hey! Wait! Wait, wait. Hey!

Bride: [''Sings''] Thank you everyone for coming. I'd like to dedicate this first song to the man who taught me everything I know. This song is for Jesus. Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone, but in my mind, I know they will still live and on, but how do you thank someone...

Allen: [''Puts hand on Sam's back''] Hi, how you doing?

Sam: Work is good. Just floating along.

Allen: Yeah, I get it.

Sam: [''To bartender''; [w:Whiskey and Coke|Jack and Coke] Can I get ]?

Allen: Hey, did you find those girls you were looking for?

Sam: Um, no, not yet.

Allen: Mmm-hmm, I'll keep an eye out. Three hot girls in a rabbit.

Sam: Yeah. Hey, have you noticed anything like, um, strange happening in this circle of friends...

Allen: Well, that's...

Sam: ...that's out of the ordinary?

Allen: That's kind of an everyday thing.

Sam: Right, yeah, but I just mean, I guess, mean, like, extra strange?

Allen: Last week, I hooked up with this chick.

Sam: [''Served by bartender''] Thank you.

Allen: She was fucked up out of her mind but she said some weird stuff about Jesus and the Brides.

Sam: Like what?

Allen: That there's a message in the music.

Sam: A secret message?

Allen: Mmm-hmm.

Sam: So, what did it say?

Allen: I have no clue, dude.

Sam: Who's the girl?

Allen: Just one of the many.

Sam: Right.

Allen: Crazy makes for good sex. You remember that.

Bride: Time has come, for closing books, and long last looks must end, and as I leave, I know that I am leaving...

Sam: Where'd you get something like that?

Bar-buddy: [[w:Amazon (company)|Amazon; ''Watching view on a laptop''; ''Drone focuses on a house and hover to window''] Where you get everything, ]. Check it out man. Silver Lake from above. Oh, there's a good one. I been, like, scouting out these houses. I swear to God, I think this chick used to be, like, a lingerie model or something. It's like, insane body. I mean, you know, you gotta be patient.

Sam: You ever feel like, you fucked up somewhere a long time ago, and you're living the wrong life, like a bad version of the life you were supposed to have?

Bar-buddy: Come on, man. You're fine.

Sam: I used to think that I was gonna be someone that like, yeah... like people cared about. Like, maybe do something important.

Bar-buddy: [''Chuckles''] Fuck, man. Everyone thinks that. You know, it's narcissism and entitlement 101.

Sam: I feel like someone's been following me.

Bar-buddy: [''Chuckles''; [w:Patriot Act|Honestly, who's not being followed these days; ''Owl hoots''] Yeah, probably. ]?

Sam: I mean, I'm... I'm feeling that alot lately, like even before all this craziness.

Bar-buddy: [[w:witches|witches; [w:werewolves|werewolves; ''A light turns on in the apartment''; ''A woman walks around in apartment''; ''Chuckles and starts to sing''; ''Woman starts taking shirt off''] That's the modern persecution complex. Who needs ] and ] anymore, right? Now we have computers. I swear to God, at the very least, the entire population is suffering from mild paranoia. See, our monkey brains, they're not comfortable knowing that they're all interlinked and routed together now in some kind of all-knowing alien mind-hive, and that shit is a straight-up cesspool for delusion, for fear... oh! Looks like somebody's home! Come with me, and you'll be... Oh... in a world of pure imagination.

Sam: [''Woman starts to cry''] You're sick I'm gonna take off, see you soon.

Bar-buddy: Yeah, be careful out there, buddy.

Sam: What's with all these cameras?

Comic-man: I'm trying to protect myself. You know how many people have died from the owl's kiss?

Sam: No, I don't.

Comic-man: [''Comic-man rummages in far corner''; ''Produces a cereal box of "Spacestones"''; ''Turns box around and hands it to Sam''] Well, I got the place all wired up. Nobody gets in here without me knowing, right? Ah, here it is! Here it is! I got it, I got it... I bought this from another collector five years ago. I'm convinced that map is the key to everything I've been searching for my whole life.

Sam: Seriously?

Comic-man: Seriously.

Sam: Well, I think all you had to do was mark down where the characters are hiding, and then send in this contest card right here.

Comic-man: Nah, it's not about the Space Stone toys. It's the map. It's geographically to scale. From Silverlake to the Hollywood Hills. It is guiding me somewhere important, and one of these days, I will crack it.

Comic-man: Stay quiet.

Sam: What?

Comic-man: [[w:Hobo#Hobo signs and graffiti|It's a Hobo Code] It means; "stay quiet". ].

Sam: Really?

Comic-man: [''Gets pamphlet to Sam''] Hobos and railriders used it a lot in the 1930's. Yeah, look. They let people know whose cool. Who wasn't. Which houses offer food. If there was a doctor in town that might be sympathetic to travellers. That sort of thing.

Sam: Okay, so, why is it in Sarah's room? And who were they telling me to be quiet?

Comic-man: I don't know. Maybe you. There's been this rash of lost-and-found signs for dogs, humans, musical instruments, over the past two years. Something really big is going on. I know it.

Sam: And you think any of this could be connected to Sarah.

Comic-man: [[w:Jonah|The cult of the whale] Of course, I mean, it could be a lot of things. Sex and drug trafficking. ]. The dog killer. I mean, lately, I just assumed that, the Owl's Kiss, has something to do with everything.

Sam: I'm not so sure about that.

Comic-man: Do you have a dollar bill on you?

Sam: [''Produces one and the comic-man circles on it with a pen and holds a magnifying glass''] I might.

Comic-man: [''Runs and gets vintage magazines''] Here. Take a look. That's the sign of the Owl's Kiss. Right there. On every dollar bill in this country. With every transaction, we enter a pact to live by her law. Any household that eats, lives or trades under her eyes is subject to her jurisdiction. Our world is filled with codes, pacts, user agreements, subliminal messages. Here. Here. Words and symbols hidden in print. Advertising. Sexual innuendo. Connected with corporations. Ideologies you assume you adopted through freewill but actually are a result of hidden messages.

Sam: Okay, so what if there were messages that aren't subliminal? But are only meant for certain people?

Comic-man: [[w:breast|tits; [w:hamburgers|hamburgers] Of course. That's as common as ] and ].

The actress: [''Reading comic pamphlet''; [w:Taxidermy|taxidermied owl skin; ''Throws pamphlet on ground and chuckles''; [w:Dick Clark|Dick Clark; [w:Elizabeth Taylor|Elizabeth Taylor; [w:Johnny Carson|Johnny Carson] Who is the "Owl's Kiss"? The Owl's Kiss is a lost legend of folklore, just as terrifying as The Wolfman of Frankenstein's Monster. She is a woman who arrives at night through windows and locked doors, naked, except for her mask of ]. She seduces men and women alike, killing them in their sleep. This beautiful scepter is responsible for dozens of deaths within the Los Angeles basin, though she has yet to be mentioned by mainstream media. Theories abound about her motives. This author believes she may be a member of a long-standing American cult, with origins in trade and finance. It is the unlucky soul who finds himself the recipient of an Owl's Kiss." What a bunch of horseshit. Oh... can't believe Jefferson Sevence is dead. Seems like every year, more and more celebrities and people I grew up with keep dying. ], ], ].

Sam: Everybody dies, even those people we think are gonna be here forever.

The actress: What were those pages on your nightstand? The one with all those scribbles?

Sam: No, it was nothing.

The actress: No, tell me. I want to know.

Sam: [[w:Satan|Satanic] Well, have you ever heard about, um, old record albums, having ] messages in em if you play em backwards?

The actress: Sure.

Sam: [[w:Wheel of Fortune|Wheel of Fortune; ''The actress chuckles''] Well, I was watching ], and I noticed Vanna White did this pattern of glances every so often. She would look straight ahead, to the right, to the left, and then back again. I was like... I was just... I started to wonder. Is that random? Is there a reason? Like a pattern behind it? And if there is... if there is... maybe there's something meaningful in that pattern, so I started taking note of when it happened. Past seven months, I got a complete record. And just... I've been thinking. Why do we just assume that all this infrastructure and entertainment and open information and this beaming all over the place, all the time, and every single home on the planet is exactly what we're told it is? Maybe there're people out there who are more important than us, more powerful and wealthier than us, that are communicating things and seeing things in the world that are meant only for them, and not for us? I think it's fucking ridiculous to assume that media has just one purpose, right?

The actress: Mmm-hmm, yeah.

Sam: Oh, you think that's weird.

The actress: A little

Sam: Okay. You don't ever think that maybe rich people know something that you and I don't?

The actress: Like... like, good restaurants, maybe.

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Eh.

The actress: Look, don't take this the wrong way, but you smell so bad.

Sam: Yeah.

The actress: And I- I think I should get going.

Sam: Okay. Thanks for the juice.

The actress: [''She gets up and collects shoes''; ''She walks away''] I'll be back when the smell goes away.

Newscaster: [[w:Duesenberg Model J|1935 Duesenberg; [w:Los Angeles Police Department|the LA Police chief; [w:Bichon Frise|Bichon Frise; ''Sam freezes TV to confirm if that a hat carried by an officer is allegedly that of Sarah, holding up her polaroid''] We're looking at footage of the crime scene discovered earlier tonight. The burning car of a ], was spotted by a resident, who immediately called authorities. Now it's hard to believe but ] has confirmed that the remains are those of Jefferson Sevence. As we reported earlier, Sevence was found dead in his car with the bodies of three women believed to be prostitutes. In addition, some unnamed sources have leaked a very odd detail about the case. Apparently, the remains of a dog, a breed known as a ] were found in the purse of one of the victims. This has officially become a very grisly and puzzling murder investigation. I'm joined now by-

Sam: Fuck.

Allen: What are you doing here?!

Sam: Hi Allen.

Allen: Hey.

Sam: Nice to see you. Is that a woman's blouse?

Allen: Guess so.

Sam: Okay.

Allen: What are you doing? You working?

Sam: Yeah, of course. How bout you?

Allen: Yeah, working, thinking about things a lot. Why we're swimming on rooftops when there's an ocean right over there?

Sam: Well, I don't have any answers.

Allen: Who does? Nobody does.

Sam: Hey, do you know a- a redhead and a blonde and a brunette that drive a white convertible rabbit?

Allen: No, but I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Sam: Well, I'm trying to see if I can track em down.

Allen: [''To Emerald''] I like that dress. Hi.

Emerald: [''Looks across party''] Hi. Thanks, Allen. Oh, my god. Take a look. Isn't that Millicent Sevence?

Allen: I think it is.

Emerald: What is she doing here? Isn't her Dad kidnapped or something?

Allen: Oh, that's not a very classy move.

Sam: Well, it's hard to know what a- what a person might do when they're in pain.

Bride: [[w:Hollywood Forever Cemetery|Hollywood Forever] I'm doing a secret solo show at ] if you want to come.

Allen: Yes, I'd love to.

Bride: [''Hands out cookies''] This is your ticket. Do not eat or break it. If it's missing anything, even a crumb, they won't let you in.

Allen: Thank you.

Emerald: [''Her phone chimes and she checks it''] Oh my god, looks like they found Millicent's dad.

Sam: Hmm, really?!

Emerald: His body was burned or something.

Allen: He's dead?

Emerald: Yeah

Sam: Does she know?

Bikini Top Hat Girl: Welcome to Purgatory.

Sam: [''Taking a pin''] Good to be here. Needed some time to think about things.

Bikini Top Hat Girl: Use it wisely.

Rosie the riveter mime: [''Reading a book aloud''] All these holy trinities of women thriving like plants under the heat of the city's male gaze.

Jesus and the Brides of Dracula: [''Singing''] Three, three, three, exploring where the cameras cannot see, you and I beneath the surface, where the lovers cannot breathe, turning teeth, turning teeth...

Troy: Jesus, we love you!

Jesus and the Brides of Dracula: [''Singing''] ...turning teeth...

Mae: Is Jesus still here? Did he leave already?

Troy: I'm not sure.

Fannie: He's with one of the brides I think.

Mae: Romantically?

Fannie: Probably. Sure does seem to be making his way through all of them.

Troy: One bride at a time.

Mae: He's a romantic.

Troy: [''They laugh''] You don't become a bride without fucking Jesus.

Fannie: If he wasn't so handsome, he'd never get away with it.

Troy: Blessed by his holy father, I guess.

Landlord: They moved out! How does that not make any sense?!

Sam: Who moves out in the middle of the night?!

Landlord: They wanted to leave! They forfeited their deposit, paid the lease! They! Moved! Out! Nothing strange about it!

Sam: I don't understand, why didn't she tell me?!

Landlord: I don't know! Maybe she didn't like you! Maybe she knows your poor and haven't paid your rent! Maybe she didn't want to date a homeless man. Speaking of rent, this isn't personal, but I want you to know, you'll be forcibly removed in the next four days!

Sam: [''Admiring bracelet''] That's pretty. What's that? Is that, uh... Is that engraved?

Sarah: Yeah, from an old boyfriend.

Sam: Oh. "Old boyfriend".

Sarah: Mmm-mm.

Sam: Hmm.

Sarah: Do you like my tattoo?

Sam: Is that real?

Sarah: No, it's temporary, from a pack of gum.

Sam: Oh, thank god for temporary.

Sarah: [''Eating crackers''; ''They both chuckle''; [w:orange juice|OJ] I know you think this is gross. But when I was sick in grade school, I- I ate my saltines and not my chicken noodle, and then I took a sip of ], and it was delicious. It's like, one of those undiscovered, unknown combinations, that no one should die without trying.

Sam: What?

Sarah: I saw you spying on me earlier.

Sam: No, I wasn't.

Sarah: [[w:masturbating|masturbating] At the pool. Were you ]?

Sam: [''Sheepishly chuckles''] No. No.

Sarah: Well, it's not strange. I masturbate.

Sam: Me, too, but...

Sarah: Doesn't everybody?

Sam: Yeah. Well, I was just looking.

Sarah: [[w:Cannabis consumption|get stoned] Okay, I believe you. You wanna ]?

Sam: Yeah. Sure, yeah.

Store clerk: [''Reading a comic pamphlet''; [w:Silver Lake, Los Angeles|Silver Lake] Only I know the secrets of ], in time I will reveal the truth behind the mysterious crimes, murders, and disappearances within this cursed community. I have the answers, I will reveal all, under the Silver Lake." Jesus.

Sam: [''Chuckles''] Yeah. Yeah, do you know who writes that?

Store clerk: Yeah, a local guy. Strange. But nice.

Sam: Does he come in here, ever?

Store clerk: Sure. I see him.

Sam: If I gave you like, five bucks, would you pass my number on to him?

Store clerk: I don't know.

Sam: Come on. I like his work and would like to meet him. It's... you're just passing on a number. It's not...

Store clerk: Okay, sure. But I don't need your five dollars.

The Actress: Wait, what is that?

Sam: [[w:parrot|parrot] It's the neighbor's ].

The Actress: Oh. What's it saying?

Sam: I'm not sure.

The Actress: Not a friend?

Sam: [''They chuckle''] Maybe. Hard to say

The Actress: [''Picks up [[w:Playboy|Playboy] Hmm. ] issue off nightstand]

Sam: That's my favorite issue.

The Actress: Why this one?

Sam: Oh, I found it in my uh, Dad's tool drawer in out garage when I was really young.

The Actress: [''Chuckles''] Oh, yeah?

Sam: Yeah.

The Actress: Did you steal it?

Sam: Mmm-hmm. I uh, the girl on the cover is the first thing I ever masturbated to.

The Actress: Hmm. She's pretty.

Sam: [''Actress laughs''] I know.

The Actress: [[w:Charles in Charge|Charles in Charge] First thing I ever masturbated to, was probably a rerun of ].

Sam: Oh my god. That's awesome.

The Actress: [''They both laugh''] Yep. I'm pretty cool.

Sam: [''Standing over chess board''; ''Circles the squares and glances bracelet''; ''Repeats "NPM" repeatedly then has an epiphant, rushes to stack of [[w:Nintendo Power|Nintendo Power magazines; ''Writes chess square position coordinates on pull-out map in magazine''; ''Circles in map''; ''Sighs''; ''Rushes over to ''Spacestones'' cereal box, opens it and tries to eat the cereal but spits it out and finds a map, unfurling it''; ''Lays cereal map over magazine map''; ''Rushes to laptop to search for satellite views only to learn that it's censored''] H6 to G4, "NPM 1, 35 to 37". NPM. NPM. What the fuck does NPM mean? NPM 1. Nintendo Power Magazine issue one. And 37. NPM 35 to 37. 35 to 37. Okay. Page 35, 36, 37. Oh my god. H6, G4. H6, G4. H6. Calm down. Calm down. H6 to... one, two, three, four. G4. H6 to G4. What the fuck do I do with that? H6 to G4. Fuck, yes. Wow. My god. You were right. You were right. Okay. H6 to G4. So that's the reservoir, and that's Mount Hollywood. What the fuck is in there?!

Sam: [''Sitting on floor''; ''Counts letters in lyrics of album reverse side''; ''Gets up giggling excitedly and dances''; [w:Dean Martin|Dean Martin; [w:Dean Koontz|Dean Koontz; [w:Richard Dean Anderson|Richard Dean Anderson; [w:Dean Stockwell|Dean Stockwell; [w:James Dean|James Dean; ''Goes to window''; ''Sighs, looks at bird woman then shifts gaze to [[w:Griffith Observatory|Griffith Observatory] What's that? One, two, three. One, two, three, "u". Five. One, two, three, four, five. "B". Three. One, two, three. "D". One. One, two... seven. "U". "U". Nuh. "N". And, "w". "T". And... "N". "N". It's "Rub deans head now aitun er newton". "Rub deans head and wait under newton". "Rub deans head and wait under newton". "Rub deans head and wait under newton". Okay. "Rub Dean's head and wait under Newton". What the fuck does that mean? ]. Dean. Larry Dean Stanton. ]. ]. Dean of admissions. ]. ]. "Rub Dean's head". "Rub Dean's head". James Dean's head. Ha! Heh!

Sam: I know it's not okay for me to say this but I- I fucking hate the homeless. Everybody says we need to take of them, but I think they're fucking bullies. Poltergeists.... All they do is float around the edges, on the peripheries and watch people eating delicious food, drinking beer and falling in love. They can't participate so they get jealous, and then they harrass us.

Mark Zuckerberg: You signed the papers.

Eduardo Saverin: [In the verge of tears] You set me up.

Mark Zuckerberg: You're gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company?

Eduardo Saverin: This is gonna be like I'm not a part of Facebook!

Sean Parker: It won't be like you're not a part of Facebook. You're not a part of Facebook.

Eduardo Saverin: My name's on the masthead.

Sean Parker: You might wanna check again.

Eduardo Saverin: This because I froze the account?!

Sean Parker: Did you think we were going to let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company?

Eduardo Saverin: [snaps, turns to Sean; turns back to Mark] I'M SORRY! MY PRADA'S AT THE CLEANERS, , along with my hoodie and my "fuck you" flip-flops! You pretentious douchebag!

Sean Parker: Security's here, you'll be leaving now.

Eduardo Saverin: I'm not signing those papers.

Sean Parker: We will get the signature.

Eduardo Saverin: Tell me this isn't about me getting into the Phoenix!

Eduardo Saverin: You...! You did it, I knew you did it! You planted the story about the chicken!

Mark Zuckerberg: I didn't plant the story about the chicken.

Sean Parker: What's he talking about?

Eduardo Saverin: You had me accused of animal cruelty!

Sean Parker: Seriously, what the hell's the chicken?

Eduardo Saverin: And I'll bet what you hated the most was that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which I am. You better lawyer up, asshole! Because I'm not just coming back for 30%, I'm coming back for everything.

Sean Parker: Get him out of here.

Eduardo Saverin: It's okay, I'm going.

Sean Parker: [Pulls out a check] Hang on! Almost forgot. Here's your $19,000. I wouldn't cash it, though. I drew it on the account you froze.

Eduardo Saverin: [smirking] I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough.

Sean Parker: You think you know me, don't you?

Eduardo Saverin: I've read enough.

Sean Parker: [whispers] You know how much I've read about you? Nothing.

Eduardo Saverin: Mark. Mark!

Sean Parker: He's wired in.

Eduardo Saverin: I'm sorry?

Sean Parker: He's wired in.

Eduardo Saverin: Is he?

Sean Parker: Yes.

Eduardo Saverin: How bout now? Still "wired in"?!

Sean Parker: Call security.

Eduardo Saverin: You issued 24 million new shares of stock?!

Mark Zuckerberg: You-- You were told that if new investors came along--

Eduardo Saverin: [Points to Sean] How much were your shares diluted? How much were his?

Gretchen: What was Mr. Zuckerberg's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: What was Mr. Moskovitz's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: What was Sean Parker's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: What was Peter Thiel's ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: It wasn't.

Gretchen: And what was your ownership share diluted down to?

Eduardo Saverin: .03 percent.

Christy Lee: When did you get back?

Eduardo Saverin: You scared me. I need you to knock.

Christy Lee: [Sternly] When did you get back?

Eduardo Saverin: I got back this afternoon.

Christy Lee: And when were you going to call me?

Eduardo Saverin: Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I was tired and...

Christy Lee: Or answer one of my 47 texts? Did you know I sent 47 texts?

Eduardo Saverin: I did, and I thought that was incredibly normal behavior.

Christy Lee: Are you mocking me?

Eduardo Saverin: I brought you a present.

Christy Lee: Why does your status say "single" on your Facebook page?

Eduardo Saverin: What?

Christy Lee: Why does your relationship status say "single" on your Facebook page?!

Eduardo Saverin: I was single when I set up the page.

Christy Lee: And you somehow never bothered to change it?

Eduardo Saverin: I –

Christy Lee: [looks at him sternly] What?

Eduardo Saverin: I don't know how.

Christy Lee: Do I look stupid to you?

Eduardo Saverin: No. Calm down.

Christy Lee: You're asking me to believe that the CFO of Facebook doesn't know how to change his relationship status on Facebook?!

Eduardo Saverin: It's a little embarrassing, so you should take it as a sign of trust that I would tell you that.

Christy Lee: Go to hell.

Eduardo Saverin: Take it easy.

Christy Lee: No! You didn't change it so you could screw those Silicon Valley sluts every time you got to see Mark!

Eduardo Saverin: [his cell phone rings] It's not even remotely true, and I can promise you that the Silicon Valley sluts don't care what anyone's relationship status is on Facebook. Please open your present.

Christy Lee: Your phone does work. It's Mark.

Eduardo Saverin: This is gonna be tricky. Please open your present. It's a silk scarf.

Christy Lee: Have you ever seen me wear a scarf?

Eduardo Saverin: [answering his cell phone] This will be your first. Yeah?

Mark Zuckerberg: You froze our account?

Eduardo Saverin: I did.

Mark Zuckerberg: You froze the account!

Eduardo Saverin: I had to get your attention, Mark.

Mark Zuckerberg: Do you realize that you jeopardized the entire company? Do you realize that your actions could have permanently destroyed everything I've been working on?

Eduardo Saverin: We have been working on!

Mark Zuckerberg: [speaking frantically, almost hysterical] Without money, the site can't function. Okay, let me tell you the difference between Facebook and everyone else: we don't crash, ever! If those servers are down for even a day, our entire reputation is irreversibly destroyed! Users are fickle, Friendster has proved that. Even a few people leaving would reverberate through the entire userbase. The users are interconnected, that is the whole point. College kids are online because their friends are online, and if one domino goes, the other dominoes go, don't you get that?! I am not going back to the Caribbean Night at AEPi!

Eduardo Saverin: [About Sean Parker] I don't want that guy representing himself as a part of this company.

Mark Zuckerberg: You gotta move out here, Wardo; this is where its all happening.

Eduardo Saverin: Did you hear what I just said?

Mark Zuckerberg: The connections, the energy--

Eduardo Saverin: Mark, you gotta--

Mark Zuckerberg: [Interrupting; Embarrassed] I'm afraid if you don't come out here, you're gonna get left behind. I want... I need you out here. Please don't tell him {Sean} I said that.

Eduardo Saverin: What did you just say?

Mark Zuckerberg: It's moving faster than any of us ever imagined it would. It's moving fast.

Eduardo Saverin: What did you mean?

Mark Zuckerberg: And Sean thinks we have...

Eduardo Saverin: [Interrupting] Sean's not a part of this company.

Mark Zuckerberg: We have over 300,000 members Wardo...

Eduardo Saverin: I'm aware of that.

Mark Zuckerberg: ...and we're in 160 schools, including five in Europe.

Eduardo Saverin: [Getting angry] I'm aware of that! MARK, I'M THE CFO!!

Mark Zuckerberg: We need more programmers, and we need more money, and he's set up the Thiel meeting. He set up meetings all over town.

Eduardo Saverin: He set up other meetings?

Mark Zuckerberg: Yes.

Eduardo Saverin: Without me knowing anything about it?

Mark Zuckerberg: [Irritated] You were in New York!

Eduardo Saverin: [Angry again] I'M IN NEW YORK, RIDING SUBWAYS 14 HOURS A DAY, TRYING TO FIND ADVERTISERS!!

Mark Zuckerberg: Yeah, and how's it going so far?!

Eduardo Saverin: What did you mean, "get left behind"?

Gretchen: Eighteen thousand dollars?

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Gretchen: In addition to the one thousand dollars you'd already put up.

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Gretchen: A total of nineteen thousand dollars, now.

Eduardo Saverin: Yes.

Mark Zuckerberg: Hang on.

Mark Zuckerberg: [sarcastic pause] I'm just checking your math on that. Yes, I got the same thing.

Eduardo Saverin: You don't think it's strange that he {Sean} was followed by private detectives?

Mark Zuckerberg: Who came up with nothing.

Eduardo Saverin: Enough to get him out of the company. The drugs, the girls.

Mark Zuckerberg: We don't know any of that's true.

Eduardo Saverin: You can read about it.

Mark Zuckerberg: I can read about you torturing birds. Since when did you--

Eduardo Saverin: [Livid] OK, DON'T FISH EAT OTHER FISH?! THE MARLINS AND THE TROUT?!!

Dustin Moskovitz: What's he talking about?